My ex moved out a week ago and still calls every 3 days to get more stupid little things from the house. And if I've thrown them out or can't find them she gets nasty. If I had'nt paid for everything she wouldn't be able to get a that 5 dollar charger she's looking for. What is she doing. Haven't I done and been through enough? She's been here 3 times now to get stuff. Go buy the rest. If I get crappy about she tells me she's so glad she left me. Well not glad enough to go buy a few things.

Change numbers and locks?

CHANGE PHONE AND LOCKS. She just wants the attention. You're giving her what she wants. Don't play her game. Cut her off!

I agree. You have given enough time to this woman not to mention heart ache so don't give her the pleasure of letting her come to your house to put you down. That's just not right for you if she asks you for anything else tell her one last time that you will look for it on your time and she has had plenty of chances to get the things she needed to and that it's her lose.

What is she doing? Haven't I done and been through enough?Um, you were dating a girl, right? Emotional? Good memory? Strong opinions.. If yes... then no, you haven't been through enough. (I bet you knew the answer to that, too)


She's been here 3 times now to get stuff. Go buy the rest.
Dude, you're missing some chances at getting in some good parting shots of your own.

HER: "I need my car charger."
YOU: "Oh, Sally, don't you know?...the electricity is gone."

HER: "I need my dust buster."
YOU: "Oh, Sally...I'm using it to make a clean start."


If I get crappy about she tells me she's so glad she left me.YOU: "Oh, Sally, me too. Me, too."

And always use that slightly condescending parental voice, too. Hehe.

I hear you guys. Its just so hard to tell someone you were so deeply in love with at 1 time to go F off! You know?

I hear you guys. Its just soo hard to tell someone you were so deeply in love with at 1 time to go F off! you know?!

(condescending parental tone) "Oh, Spoony Luv, I know, but think of the environment."

You are so right about this being a GIRL! Good luck to the next guy miss I'm 27 and been engaged 5 times. I see why. Nothing is ever enough for her even after we have split up... the demands are still there. Unbelievable. I gave her the 500 dog plus still 150.00 after we were broken up to have it fixed! Nothing is enough!!

Think of it as sanity tax. Pay it. Do not repeat previous mistakes.

Next.

"I ain't got it, now leave me alone!"

Ok she has called almost every other day to get something. Finally last night she called to get a pot back. I told her sure in a nice voice, She is always real short with a reply. OK. Bye. I texted her an hour late and said. If you need anything else please tell a mutual friend of ours... my cousins girlfriend who is friends with her and more so with me now after she sees how she treated me, and I finished it with we need space to heal and move on. Her reply was umm... thats what I'm doing danny. Trust me! So I sent 1 more saying I wasn't trying to be nasty. I just thought it is the most healthy thing to for the both or us. Did I handle this correctly. Trying to get to NC!

Not bad, but why haven't you gotten ALL her stuff together, and ended her need to "get something"??

All right, boys. I'm a girl - and I've dealt with the SAME thing from an ex! Its not always the girl that is nutso in a relationship, or a break up! Sometimes, it's the guy... and I"m a case in point!

(I feel better now. :))

Ok, hon. You've got to say no. When she calls, don't answer. Let her leave a message. Better yet, change your phone number - I had to. Change those locks. Don't let her into your life anymore. Its over. You're done with her and her games.

But the only way you're going to be "done with her" is to be strong and say, "No."

Get all of her things together, put them in a box, give the box to a mutual friend, tell her that all of her things are in the box at so-and-so's house, and be DONE with it.

Don't put up with this. Its YOUR sanity here, and she's playing the game.

Best of luck.

So why is she doing this? She came 3 times to get her stuff and some of mine that I didn't realize till it was gone. She has raped my house. A stupid pot, that's what it was over yesterday a stupid pot.

To keep you thinking of her
To keep tabs on you
Because you let her!!

Change the number and delete her from your life. She is dead to you... grieve and then move on.

But she gave up... she left... why would she give a crap!

I can't change my number. Its how my customers get in touch with me.

But she gave up...she left....why would she give a crap!

Because she enjoys the power over you! She knows she has this control and will use it until is is gone. Do not give her this power anymore. Take your life back. Box all of her crap up and mail it to her or whatever, just be done with it. You could block her number as well.

This is what I'm going to do. No more answering. I hoped that text let her know where I stand AND SHE WILL STOP. She is so controlling. I see so now after the break up. Its her way or noway. That's what led to this. I could'nt do it anymore. She was driving me crazy trying to please her. This board has helped me so much. And to think I found it a month ago asking a computer question. Little did I know! Lol

I can't change my number. Its how my customers get in touch with me.

Can you block her number? Or, set a silent ringtone when she calls. Something, so that you don't have to deal with it. I know. It hurts every time they call. Everything comes back up again and it rakes your emotions through the crud. I'm really sorry that you have to deal with this and that she is playing with your heart like this.

I would honestly change your locks. That way, she can't get in to, as you say, "rape your house." That actually is a very good way to describe what she is doing to you. You've got to stand up and take control of this.

Get her things out of your house. If there is nothing there and she doesn't believe you? Well, that's her problem. At this moment, when she comes into your house without being invited, she is breaking and entering and can be charged. Hopefully, it doesn't come to that point, but it may. I would make sure she knows that you are no longer going to put up with this.

Find a way to tell her that she is not welcome in your house and that you will take necessary action if she does come in. Then do it. Follow up - don't give empty threats. Figure out what steps you're willing to take to get rid of this and stick to it.

This board has helped me so much. and to think I found it a month ago asking a computer question. Little did i know! lol

I know how you feel! I found this site at the beginning of the year and wow... it has helped me more than I could ever say. The people I've met on here are amazing - and so supportive.

She doesn't come to the house anymore. Just calls to get me to take stuff she's missing to a friends house. I can feel it in her voice she doesn't care,its just stuff she feel belongs to her. She is really making this easy for me because its making me hate her more and more!

Historianchick is right, say no and mean it!

Won't this push her further away?

Isn't that the point?? Or do you want her to come back to you?

"Won't this push her further away?"

I'm confused... this girl, who you've admitted to being a controlling person who is wrecking havoc on your emotions, is someone that you want in your life? You want her close?

Aren't you broken up? Aren't you seeing what type of person she really is? Is this the type of person you want to call your friend, let alone your girlfriend?

Do you still want a relationship with her after all of this?

I thought the point of this question was to find out how TO put distance between the two of you...

... I'm confused...

There good points to her! She was just needy. I still love her very very much!

there good points to her!Irrelevant. Open your eyes man. Choose sanity. When a serial killer is in the room, his handsome features are beside the point.


... she was just needy.You know that is just the tip of the iceberg. Her neediness includes needing you to keep hurting. You cannot support this behavior, and thus you must stop defending this person.


... I still love her very very much!Unfortunate, and also irrelevant. Ted Bundy was highly loved by many people... and he still needed to be executed.

You have those feelings for her the rest of your life in one degree or another. That's the dark side of love, something you have to just live with. But you also have to stop using it as a reason to keep a serial-heart-killer in your life. Stop defending her.

Thank you so much guys. You are the best help I've found!!

Won't this push her further away?

No, it will let you heal, who cares what it does for her.