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equislee
Oct 17, 2008, 11:15 AM
I'll try to give just the outward facts, however there is a lot going on. We lost our home to foreclosure in June of this year (long story, involving unemployment and the banks unwilling to work with us). My mother lives on a farm just down the road were my kids have horses and other animals that she keeps for them. So we thought it was a logical move for them to move in with her so they could continue to go to school where they have been going to their whole life and take care of the animals and help her (who is in her 80's). We suggested to move in also and pay rent etc. but my mother has never cared for my husband and her next door neighbors don't like us for varying reasons (really don't understand it myself) and they really didn't mind the kids moving in but didn't want us moving in. Yes, they are just her neighbors and shouldn't have any say but they have exerted a lot of mind control over my mother in the last few years since my fathers death and a scary amount to say about what she does, so we decided it would be least upsetting for just the kids to move in and we would find someplace else until we could get our own place again. Let me stop here and say that one girl is 16 and the other is 18 (will be 19 in November, and really isn't what this post is about). We stayed in a rent by the week motel near by but were offered a basement room in a coworkers apartment free of charge until we get back on our feet. This happens to be about 20 minutes away from were my mother lives. The kids were also given an open invitation to move in the basement also, but they would rather stay where their friends, school and animals are so didn't see a problem with this. We are having trouble finding a place due to the current economic situation, and our credit is very bad due to the foreclosure, we had a trailer given to us but the park wouldn't let us in without a co-signer and no on in our family was either qualified or would do it, all of the section 8 or voucher programs are closed or have 1-2 year waits, we are most definitely working on finding a place but do not want to end up in a situation before where we can't afford the rent or have to decide between fixing the car or making house payments, so it is taking a little more time then we would like. Problem is we are concerned that my husband sister through spite might try to press child abandonment, I don't know what the laws are and don't know if I should be concerned about this. We still pay for all their clothes, food, schooling and I see them for the most part on a daily basis. We could just make the kids come live with us but my 16 year old has already expressed that that would be even more stressful to be forced to go to another school and taken away from her friends so we are trying not to make her life any harder. But I found out that my sister-in-law was questioning her about how she was being taken care of and was being very vindictive about it, she never answered any questions and just told her that she didn't want to talk to her (she is smart and has learned from my sister-in-laws ugly ways before) My sister in law is an alcoholic that has gone to jail for domestic assalt but thinks she knows how to run everyone's life better then they are, loves dragging everyone through the mud. But I still want to know if I should be concerned about this situation. We are just trying to get are lives back together, I finally got a good job 12/11/07 and my husband is up for a promotion by the end of the year, we are just trying to get our heads above water and our family back together and except for this are being very successful at it. Sorry for the long post.

ANB428
Oct 17, 2008, 11:32 AM
She can't file for abandonment on you and your husband. Don't worry about anything. Plus your daughter's are almost adults. If this ever when to court (which I don't see how it could) the judge would probably just laugh. Don't worry about anything.

Worried Auntie
Oct 17, 2008, 11:48 AM
There is nothing wrong with people needing help from time to time.
They can't press abandonment charges on you anyway. If you see your daughter almost everyday and you pay her way then there shouldn't be an issue. She is old enough in the courts eyes to decide if she wants to live with someone else anyway. So if by some chance the ignornant sister in law does take you to court then your daughter can just tell them that she wants to live at her grandmothers. Depending on the judge they might think it's a good thing for her anyway. It's always a tremendous learning experience spending time with elderly people.
Best of luck to you and I wouldn't stress out about this sounds like you have too many other pressing issues to deal with.

ScottGem
Oct 17, 2008, 12:01 PM
First, you gave us WAY too much information. You could have condensed this to the following:

In June, we lost our home to foreclosure. So that our kids (16 and 18) could continue in the same school, they moved in with their grandmother who lives near where we lived. For a variety of reasons, we didn't mvoe in with her but have been looking, without much success, for a permanent place for us to live.

My problem is my sister-in-law who I fear may file charges of abandonment against us. We continue to pay our kids upkeep, but the SIL has been questioning the kids about how they are being cared for.

This is just for fututre reference. While its better to err on the side of providing too much information, if your post is too long, people will tend not to read it.

Child abandonment occurs when the children are left totally unsupervised for a length of time. That is clearly not the case here so you need not worry. The worst that might happen is Family Services will send a case worker to interview the various parties. As soon as the case worker sees that you left the kids in the care of their grandmother so they could continue in the same school, that you contribute to their upkeep and that you have been in constant contact, they will drop the case.

Fr_Chuck
Oct 17, 2008, 07:08 PM
Thanks Scott I stopped reading after about two lines.

Scott is correct, first almost all abandonment deals with civil issues in divorce for reasons to divorce and factors in child custody.
Beyond that it is leaving a child on the side of the road, or kicking them out of your home.

1o's of thousands of people have children living with other family for all sorts of reasons.
I myself had my oldest boy live with a friend of mine for his last 6 months of high school, since our family had to move right before his graduation.

Tell sister in law to shut up and leave you alone or you may file for criminal stupidity against her.

cdad
Oct 17, 2008, 07:13 PM
Tell sister in law to shut up and leave you alone or you may file for criminal stupidity against her.

Hmm interesting.. If criminal stupidity were on the books then we couldn't have a congress : )


If only it were so...

wildandblue
Oct 22, 2008, 12:23 PM
If you have horses, why did you not sell those in order to keep your house? I'm not understanding that. I have been in a similar situation with relatives, they were renting space in a barn, paying stud fees, riding lessons for the kids etc yet they wanted to borrow money from other elderly relatives so they could buy a new house.

equislee
Oct 23, 2008, 03:23 AM
Obviously someone needs to read the newspaper, people can't even give real estate away let alone horses. People in Kentucky and other states have been letting horses lose in the mountains because they can no longer afford to keep them. Let me see, having been in horses all my life and knowing what the market is now... it would have taken me probably about a year or two to sell the horses and I probably would have gotten maybe if I was lucky $5,000. Or if I had taken them to auction I could have maybe sold them faster but gotten less then a 1,000 for them but oh then I would had to pay fees for selling them at auction so probably more like about 500.00. UMMMMMM I did my reseach!

equislee
Oct 23, 2008, 06:52 AM
Ok, sorry for the testyness of my reply, this post wasn't about the foreclosure,that would take another huge post, I pretty much did everything humanly possible with the exception of winning the lotto to save my house, the bottom line the bank wasn't interested in working with us and the banking/mortgage industry and their dirty little practices have been all over the news.

wildandblue
Oct 23, 2008, 10:49 AM
Well you can reply anway you want to, and since that reply stays on my profile page permanently it tells more about you as a new member than it does me. The animals need to eat, after all. They are obviously not an asset but a liability. And I guess the answer was more to your post about extortion involving your relatives than it was about you.