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View Full Version : They haven't met him.how do I tell them I'm marrying him?


KitKat85
Oct 14, 2008, 09:42 AM
Hi. I'm looking for any and all advice I can get. My fiancée proposed almost 2 months ago, right before he left for basic training for the army. We were going to tell my family about it over Christmas while he will be home, so that they can meet him first and feel a little less blindsided by it. But we realized a couple weeks ago that to get married after training but before any possible deployment, the wedding would have to be in March. And that would give the family only 2 and a half months notice if we told them in December. It would also mean that, since I'm way into the planning process already (I do NOT suggest planning a wedding in 6 months instead of 12), they would miss out on so much of it if I don't tell them soon. I really want them to be happy for me, because I'm so happy about it, and be involved in the whole thing. We are a pretty close family for the most part.
But they haven't met him, and now I need to tell them all by myself. We've been together for almost 2 years, and there have been several times I've asked my dad or aunt (kind of like adoptive mother) to come and meet him, go out to dinner with us or something, but they never took me up on it.
I'm really nervous to tell them about this without him here with me, but there's not much choice at this point. They need to know, and he can't be here. They are so overprotective though, and I'm afraid they will just pelt me with reasons (bad ones) that I shouldn't get married. I'm too young (im 23), I haven't finished school, (I will in December, long before the wedding), the army is a tough life (I know that but I want my life with him), I'm not thinking this through (I'm sure this is what I want), etc, etc.
Any advice on how to go about telling them? I'm telling my dad in person, but right now I'm leaning towards telling the rest on the phone so I can't have them all gang up on me.
Tips? Suggestions? Pleeeeease?

plonak
Oct 14, 2008, 11:28 AM
I think that's a good start to tell your Dad in person. Tell all your immediate family in person..

As for your other family, feel it out.. see how your Dad reacts and you can even ask him yourself.. he knows your family better than we do..

Just be honest and you should be fine.. even if it doesn't go well, this is your life and it only matters how you feel about it in the end.. but I know it would be nice to have your family on your side.. good luck

HistorianChick
Oct 14, 2008, 11:46 AM
Watch Father of the Bride.

Don't stress out about this. This time should be the happiest time of your life! You're getting married! Your family would want to be a part.

Tell your Dad. Have him meet you for coffee and just tell him. Tell him how much you love this man, why you want to spend the rest of your life with him, and your plans for how you're going to provide for each other after the wedding. Be honest with him and I'm sure he will be happy for you.

Don't stress! And, Congratulations! :)

JBeaucaire
Oct 14, 2008, 12:22 PM
Tell them HAPPILY. Joyously. It's a good thing. Your entire demeanor should telegraph ELATION. This will set the tone for them. You are literally bursting with anticipation. That kind of thing is infectious. Infect them.

As soon as someone offers the FIRST critique, you stop them, and firmly say, "Now, now, I know this is news to you, but I trust you're as happy about this as I am and expect your 100% support. Isn't this wonderful!?" And be sure to use your best valley girl voice, because, "Oh my god...this is sooooo amaaaaazing.....!"