I am a 19 year old male and I get erections in situations that do not seem entirely conventional. Often if I am caring for a young child and feel a protective father son type relationship or if the child shows affection with a hug I will get an erection. I also get erections when I am really really comfortable like when I get into a warm bed when I feel cold. I have tried masturbation against my better judgement and it only worsened the problem. I would be erectioin free for a half hour or so after masturbating but then the erections would return at inapropriate moments. I feel like something is wrong with me. Can anyone offer knowledge or advice?

Entirely normal-one of the very few problems we have as men.

It is normal for men and women to get *turned on* in many different kinds of life situations.

SEX ISN'T DIRTY OR NASTY.

Sex is a positive life force for all. :)

It is religion and culture that twists and warps people's mind so that being turned on to life becomes not normal and people feel guilt and shame.

Remember, we *don't act* on all our impulses!

Enjoy Life!

Well if small children is turing him on, I would say there may be a issue for a couselor.

But often younger males have poorer control over their erections.

Well if small children is turing him on, I would say there may be a issue for a couselor.

But often younger males have poorer control over their erections.


Chuck, no "counselor" is going to fix this. Maybe a brain surgeon but not a counselor. When one of those kids hugs me I pray my balls off in my mind that this time I won't get an erection. It never works. It's just raw uncontrolable emotion.

I love those kids to death and there isn't one of them that I wouldn't take a bullet for. I have brought myself to tears on multiple occasions just thinking about how happy they are, I just love them that much.

Yes u love these children but getting an erection from little children is not healthy u need serious help

yes u love these children but getting an erection from little children is not healthy u need serious help

Are you a woman? I don't trust your judgment. I don't think you could ever understand the way I feel.

Yes I am a women BUT I have my husband and his best friend (both men) sitting right here saying the same thing I am!

Yes i am a women BUT i have my husband and his best friend (both men) sitting right here saying the same thing i am!

I don't trust a woman's judgment and I don't trust a man's judgment in the prescence of another man. There are issues with honesty and reputation. I'll leave it that. Thank you though with much respect.

I don't trust a woman's judgment and I don't trust a man's judgment in the prescence of another man. There are issues with honesty and reputation. I'll leave it that. Thank you though with much respect.

... what?

what is that supposed to mean? I really do want to understand what you're trying to say.

in any case, fr_chuck is right. Getting turned on by children is not normal.

in this case, the only possible excuse (in your favor) that I can think of is, like chuck suggested, that your hormones are out of control because of your age, which might make your body respond to all kinds of things.

however, if there is any emotional or psychological element whatsoever that is causing you to be turned on by children, you should definitely see a professional therapist who specializes in these disturbances. It should be treated like a serious mental illness. It would absolutely be something to take very seriously, and it would not be something to put off until (if, when or after) something much more serious occurs.

that said, I will still respond to the other parts of your post as being separate from the question addressed above.

as far as being "really, really comfortable" or getting into a warm bed goes, I don't see why an erection in these kinds of situations would be cause for concern. What do you see as abnormal about this?

using the phrase "erection free" makes me think that you feel that an erection is a bad thing. It might be an embarrassing thing if you were seen with one by someone you didn't want to see it, but what's so bad about having an erection in private?

it sounds like you also feel very uncomfortable, if not against, the idea of masturbation. You talked about it being against your better judgment. What is causing you to feel conflicted about masturbating?

I read your other thread here called "crazy dream". (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/crazy-dream-276106.html) in it, you talked about being dedicated to your religion. Just out of curiosity, and in order to understand your feelings on the subject, is their something in your particular beliefs or from your church's teachings that leads you to believe that there is something wrong with thinking sexual thoughts, having erections or self-stimulation?

the fact is that these are perfectly natural, perfectly normal and perfectly healthy responses for anyone living in a human body and in possession of a human mind. As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing wrong with working with the things that make us human. I believe that people are more than capable of having erections, or masturbating, and also believing in God. I don't see them as mutually exclusive to each other, and I don't think you should feel guilty or uncomfortable about responding to your body's needs in a healthy and natural way.

having random erections really is a perfectly normal part of early manhood. At least in that sense, there's nothing wrong with you.

You need to speak with a counselor.

Not because necessarily anything is wrong with you or your erections, but because you are freaking about about everything that has to do with sex--your dreams, your bodily reactions, and the fact that you're not comfortable with masturbation.

How old are you? That might give us a lot more insight on how to help you.

Either way, I don't think you're going to be happy until a counselor/doctor/therapist tells you that you're normal.

Infant boys get erections while breast feeding. They do not need help. Your fear about your body may suggest that you do need help.

Yes, I do have a problem with masturbation. I believe it is phsycologically unhealthy and so I no longer do it. Don't tell me it helps because I know for a fact that it doesn't. I was addicted to it for 2 years and I know it doesn't solve these issues. I am not freaking out nor do I want to be repaired or changed, I simply want to understand myself. I am a Christian, I like it when everything in my life fits together. I need absolute truth to hold on to or I will truly and quickly go mentally insane. By nature, I like to be alone. I always do more thinking than talking. Everyone says I'm too quiet, it has been that way since I was a toddler. I am extremely emotional on the inside but usually I don't show it. When I love, I love deeply and passionately in a way words cannot begin to describe.

I don't need anyone to tell me I'm normal. I know in many ways I am far from normal. I am OK with that. I am who I am and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I just looking for understanding while hoping that someday everything will fit together again.

Thank you for taking the time to respond.

Yes i am a women BUT i have my husband and his best friend (both men) sitting right here saying the same thing i am!

Why do you have to have another man (not your husband ) as a "best friend"??