Hello everyone, 34/F
I am new to this site and I am so glad I found it I hope my story can help someone too, not just me! I just need vent I am so confused and scared, sometimes I feel like such a fool. Well this is my story I am with my boyfriend for 3 years now and I caught him cheating on me almost a year ago. It killed my whole world and much more I never been through this before. At the time, he started seeing this other women we were broken up for about 2 weeks. My boyfriend and I ended up getting back together after our 2 week split. About 3 months later, I checked his phone because I had a feeling. I saw a text message from this girl and I called her. Well he was cheating on me with her for about 5 months. Well she said 5 he said 2, she claimed to be pregnant(but lied), he bought her gifts, flowers went to her job, lots of messed up things while he was with me too! It is the worst thing ever and still is. I can’t get over it!! And I try to everyday, staying with him was a huge mistake because once again him and I been having a rocky road for the past 2 weeks. We went to dinner to talk on Friday night, and then by Saturday night he was out with his friends. Sunday he came to my apt and took a nap, I checked his phone and saw a text message from a girl. I woke him up and asked about the text, he got mad at me for not trusting him and left. Good thing I am smarter then him, cause I wrote her number down. I called her and he had met her that Thursday night out, remind you all I was with him Friday night trying to talk things out, then Saturday he went with his friend to go see HER at night club where she works. Nothing had happen between them, not even a kiss she said, but still intensions were there! I do not understand why he went to see her; if he was trying to work things out with me, he even tried getting me pregnant that night we went to dinner, him going to see her just brought back all those feeling I been trying to bury. I know I just have to leave him but I am going to be 35 and once again wasted all this time. Right now he is trying to be so nice to me, wants to take me away and is begging for me not to go “he didn’t do anything wrong” so he says! I need strength can anyone please give me some to stay away from this cheating lair! I tried to forgive him once already I don’t trust myself not to take him back HELP!

This is your life and you only get one shot at it.

You know what you have to do, you know that he won't change, you know all of this, yet you still want to believe him and give him another chance.

He claims nothing happened with this "new girl", not yet, but if given a chance I think he will, otherwise he wouldn't make an effort to go see her.

He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He has you, stable, there, ready and willing, but he's still looking for the next best thing. Do you want to be the girl in the background, his safety net?

He tried to get you pregnant? Why? Do you want a child with this man? Do you think that's a good idea?

No one can give you the strength you need, that is something you have to find in yourself. So, this is your choice, leave, find yourself, find someone who puts you first, or, stay, pretend that everything is okay and learn to live with and accept the man he is.

Good luck.

Since past behavior is a good indication of future behavior, this isn't about him at all, is it? You already know he's going to have other girl(s) on the side, regardless of the words that come out of his mouth.

You know this. So, this is about self-worth. If your age is actually an issue to you on this particular storyline decision, you are in trouble. There is no age in which it becomes "OK" to set aside common sense and just let people crap on your heart and life. No age at all for that.

And I have to encourage to stop the melodrama over wasted time. None of this time is wasted unless you ignore what you learn and stay with someone who craps on your heart and life. THEN YOU ARE WASTING YOUR LIFE, instead of spending some time getting to know him to determine if you're compatible.
If you want to share your man with other women, you're compatible.
If being alone is more horrific to you than being cheated on, you're compatible.
If you believe words spoken are more important than actions, you're compatible.
Are you compatible?

Your story sounds like it's written by an intelligent and frustrated person. Don't be scared of making the right choice. You absolutely HAVE to be OK within your own skin, and being alone is not the same thing as being without him.

Once you are without him once and for all, your energies will go to other things. Not having a boyfriend HAS TO (has to) be a better choice than having your self-worth spat on daily by someone who treats you this way.

Thank you so much

You can be miserable, and wondering if he will cheat again or has.

You can be miserable, and get over him, and have a happier life.

Two choices, and the easy part just pick one!!

Having been in your shoes before, I know what it feels like to be cheated on. It was the hardest thing I've ever experienced and I literally at times thought I wasn't going to make it, my world was crushed. You are going to want to keep forgiving him because you hold on to the hope that he will change, etc. But you have to realize at the end of the day you deserve SO MUCH BETTER, and you do not need to ever have to go through that again. I mean look at the siutation, he cheated on you, you thought things would get better... and he obviously did not want to change his mistake bad enough.

Look, it's not worth it for you to be involved in this mess emotionally, mentally, or physically. It feels horrible, and if you were like me... it's all I could think about. You have to move on. Seek professional help if you need to. But don't contact him at all, stay busy with friends and family... take a vacation for yourself etc. Lean on the people who REALLY love you, for support. You have too.

Don't get tangled up with him, there's a world full of men out there.

p.s. I know this may sound corny but when I was going through it, I would be so depressed etc... you have to come out of your shell and literally walk up to a mirror and look at yourself, know who you are, and what you want and deserve and look at yourself and regain a sense of your strength and self.

Let go of this useless man.

Actually, I don't consider your ex a human or a man; I'd consider him to be lower than a ant.

Really, cut all ties with this loser and inform all your friends about him.

Just take a deep breath, look at yourself in the mirror, and ask yourself "why."

Why am I here?
Why am I with a loser?
Why am I not with someone who'll treat me right?

I appreciate everyone's advice so very much…thank you it help a lot!
He is still trying, saying he didn't do anything..blah blah blah….but I left him and I'm staying strong..i printed out all the responds and everytime I feel weak, I read them…
I can't express enough how much they have helped me..
Thanks again

Miss, may I also say to start posting in the NC calender. It really helps to read other peoples stories about how far they are along and they can also inspire you!