Just to give you some background on my problem and to help you understand better, I will tell you a few things about myself and my best friends. There are about 8 of us that hang out on a regular basis. We have all grown up together at school, and things have always been pretty normal. I was in Girl Scouts with most of them at a very young age, but I used to always hang out with other people besides them. These girls and guys are now my main circle of friends, and I fit in with them very well, and we have nearly everything in common. Last summer I began to hang out with one of them more than the others. We seemed to have the most in common and we really enjoyed one another's company. We told each other everything. She is very pretty, and a lot of guys like her. She is very involved, and she makes average grades. Like me, she is friends with a lot of people. However, I accel more with my schoolwork, and I am more outgoing, but she is more daring. Many of my friends, however, even the ones in our circle of eight, do not trust her because of the horrible things she has done in the past. One of our good guy friends hasn't even spoken to her for almost a year because of something she has done, and they used to be the best of friends, even better than she is with me. Her mother has had 5 different husbands and has been with a woman before. My friend is always complaining about how neglectful her mother is, and how she wishes her mother loved her. Her mother does love her, but she even admits that she is neglectful to her daughter. Her mother recently re-married while my friend was away at camp, without informing her. Also, there are twin boys who go to our school, and all the girls are in love with them, but they are serious players (one of them doesn't want to be, he is just looking for the right girl, and he falls for peer pressure). My friend has dated one of them 5 times, and I have dated both of them once. They are in a band, and they are into the same music as I am, so it is really cool. We always write songs together. One of them is sweeter, more mature, and less perverted than the other, and he is still a virgin. You can probably imagine what the other one is like. He is really sweet deep down, like his brother, but he gets involved with the wrong people and drugs, and he has been in trouble for shooting at houses before. He is the one who asked us to sneak out with him in a car and have sex. He would ask us how tight we are, and tell us to wear skirts so he could look up them. It was very emotional because he wouldn't leave us alone, and he is very clever. It was very pressuring and it made me feel worthless. My friend is also having problems with her other ex boyfriend, and the girls in our circle of friends have been mad at her frequently for the past few weeks, but I don't blame them because she even hit one of them. It was completely un-called for. She is always yelling at us, and calling us names, but it is particularly me. A few weeks ago, she and my other friend got in a huge screaming fight, and they started to cry. That is when she told me that she once cut herself a few weeks before that.. I know this isn't to be taken lightly, but I don't want to tell our school counselor because that is my friend's relative, and my friend gets angry so easily. All of the things I mentioned (our guy friend not speaking to her, her mother, trust issues, and the twin) are reasons that I think she might do that to herself, as well as the fact that my other friend's boyfriend just slept with another girl, and it is driving her insane, but I don't know what to do. I told my mother, but I made her promise not to tell. I will find a way to get her help somehow, though, because I think it's the right thing to do. She also constantly puts me down. For instance, she and my other friend want to get revenge on the twin. At the powderpuff football game, she wants to go off with him somewhere and act like she really wants to have sex with him now, but she is wearing two layers of clothes and a belt. Once she gets his clothes off, she is going to run away and drop them random places, so he will eventually have to come out and find them and get them. My other friend is going to video tape this. She also wants to take his phone and give it back to him the next day, so he can't call for help. She wants me to do this with her. I would never do a thing like that, and she says it's because I'm a pansy. I just want to follow God and do what is right. I just think of the things that could happen because I am smart and I think things through carefully. For instance, he is a football player and he could out-run her easily. He wouldn't care to run a few feet in his boxers to catch her and get his clothes, especially if they were far away from the crowd. Then he would hate her forever, and he would still like me and that will probably make her angry and jealous. She could also get into tons of trouble if she gets caught. If I were him, I wouldn't want someone to do that to me! Instead, I am working at the concession stand to earn FBLA points with his twin brother that I have a crush on. She knows how I feel about him, and she said, "Oh, like it matters! You think just because he asked you to work with him that he is in love with you now or something?? He is so out of your leauge! Biznatch!" I also don't know if I should tell the twin that she plans to do that to what she is planning. I don't understand. She used to be different, but I don't know what to do. I am also the only person besides my best guy friend that she told that knows she cut herself once. She promised to never do that again, but I don't know if I should trust her because she lies. Another thing is that I sort of like my best guy friend, but none of my friends like him at all. In fact, nobody does. My friends told me that if I ever liked him, then they would hate me. One of my other friends even told the police that he sexually abused her, which he did not, and everyone knows that. They simply just hate him. He makes it very clear that he wants to be more than friends, and he always says that he loves me. He has liked me for nine years. I don't know if I should go out with him or wait for the twin (the nice one I will work with at the game) to get a crush on me again. My main problem is my friend, however, and I don't know what I should do. Should I tell someone other than my mother that she cut herself? Should I trust that she won't ever do that again? Am I taking this too seriously? What is best for her? Should I get her help? Please help me!

If you consider yourself her friend then you need to get her some help.. Talk to the school councler tell them everything and then they will take it from there. Don't feeling like your snitching on her or letting her down more like saving her from her self. She needs help and your doing what a good friend would do. Just be there for her when she wants to talk...

You're a great friend ans person

Too much to read! Can you reduce the amount of words and ask the question like that? Your question/post reads like a NOVEL!

You should tell someone, even if she ends up mad at you, because as was mentioned earlier, you could end up saving her life in the long run.She is really begging for help,in a way.
As to going along w the other caper about the football player and pretending to have sex and then running off w his clothes,etc. Guys don't like that kind of thing,( there's even a slang word for it), and it might end up backfiring on her, if not that night, then at a later time!I would try to talk her out of it, but Definitely do not become involved and go with her or participate in ANY way! I know you want to be a friend to this girl, but be VERY careful and don't let your friendship override YOUR common sense. She has some major problems and should get help,maybe you can offer to go w her, for moral support. It sounds like she is "burning bridges", right and left,a result of bad self esteem, which she suffers from,obviously.. SO sad.You can be a good friend to her, she needs one, but not at the risk of your OWN good judgement,safety, and well-being. If it comes to that ,you have to say NO and walk away. My prayers are with you both, I hope you can be a good influence in her life, but sometimes it takes TOUGH LOVE to let someone know how much you REALLY do care. Some day,she will thank you,provided she IS alive! Do the right thing!


You sound like you have the right idea ,if you just do what God would expect of you, you can't go wrong!