View Full Version : I've just found out I'm pregnant but I'm getting married in 10 months
babydust
Sep 21, 2008, 02:49 AM
:confused:hi just need a little advice,
I am getting married in 10 months from now. We originally planned the wedding for 2010. But with all the planning done we decided to bring the wedding forward. So 10 months away from now were due to get married. Everything from he photographer to the caterers is booked. As my parents are paying they've put A lot of money down as deposits. My period was late last week so I took SEVERAL tests on different days to check we didn't have a baby on the way. All the test have been negative until this morning. I wouldn't have even done a test except this morning I opened my bathroom cupboard and a test fell into the sink. Id forgotten it was even there so I took the test. The clearblue digital test clearly said pregnant. I'm going to book an appointment with my gp tomorrow as today is Sunday. But what should I do? So much of me thinks this wedding is to close now and my parents have spent thousands of pounds planing everything you could ever ask for, that I carnt keep it. But I no I have a fertilised egg inside me and feel strangely close to it. :confused: but if I did have an abortion can this make me infertile all togther? I don't want to struggle to get pregnant again in the future. Ive always frowned upon abortion and its only OK if its totally not ever going to work for you as a mother. Please nobody call me a murderer or anything. I'm just needing abit of advice xx
Mapleleafpete
Sep 21, 2008, 05:41 AM
WOW... well if I was in your boot's, witch I can't because I'm male,lol.. kidding aside now.I have 3 children.. Alexandra 10 yrs old with Cerbral Palsy,Dillion age 9,Mackenzie age 8:).The day may children were born was the day god shun down on me and blessed me with the greatest gift ever.
Kids are a blast,they make you laugh they make you mad,they make you cry but holly smokes there worth every moment that comes by, To see them born,to see them take there 1st steps,first words, etc.. If don't have the baby you will miss all this,that would be to bad.
Who cares about money for a wedding,if your parents do ,there selfish, my opinion only.Guess what I'm saying is keep the baby,things will work out,and if you decide not to,don't worry you can have another some other time.Getting an abortion does not make you infertile.Talk to your parents,talk to the father,I'm sure between yous all you'll make the right desession,all though it is your desession to make as you are the mother, good luck sweet heart.
carriefox
Sep 21, 2008, 11:48 AM
I think you should just go with your heart,do what you think is right.
I just got married in May of this year. I am 25, my husband is 28. We have been trying for 10 months to get pregnant. We are currently seeing a gyne and are waiting on blood results and so on,will will find out then what is stopping us getting pregnant, hopefully.
So I just think that you should just do what you think is right. Children are a gift from God,and I believe they are sent for a reason.
SoLostPlzHelp
Sep 21, 2008, 12:20 PM
I don't think you should have an abortion. I did two years ago and I regret it all the time and now I'm pregnant again and thank god every day for my child. You would have your baby with enough time to lose the weight and have the wedding you dreamed of.
babydust
Sep 21, 2008, 01:13 PM
Thank everyone so much for posting back. Your all so much of a help you wouldn't believe. I get the impression off my partner he thinks I should go through with the termination as I'm only 4/5 weeks pregnant. And its not a "baby" yet in his opinion. Tho he says he won't try persuade my decision and will support me either way. Ive found out today as well I've been made redundant as the company I work for has gone bust. So were going to be living on one income now. (I NO MY LIFE GETS BETTER) hahaha. I think that's helped me make my choice as id want to give me baby everything I can. My parents and friends would support me either way. I prob will regret the abortion for the rest of my life. But as it is at the moment I feel its my only option though it kills me because I no its inside me. The main concern was that a termination would effect my fertility but I've been reassured since it won't. As soon as were married and I have a stable job we will consider trying for a baby that we can provide for. Thanks everyone for the replies.xxx
Fr_Chuck
Sep 21, 2008, 03:07 PM
I think you and he needs to see what the "not a baby" is like. And yes, there are cases where this procedure will cause problems with having future kids, not always but it can.
To be honest abortion is not birth control, birth control is what you do before you get pregnant, remember that years from now when you go pass a play yard you will think about what if? And when you have a baby, you find ways to take care of them,
jjwoodhull
Sep 21, 2008, 03:17 PM
I'm not sure what your wedding has to do with weather you keep the baby or not... This is 2008 - many people have babies before marriage. While this might not be "ideal", it is not the end of the world either.
If you are concerned about having the wedding too soon after the birth, then change the date of the wedding. Almost all vendors will allow you to change the date this far in advance without penalty. As long as they are available on the new date.
As far as losing your job, I can see where money would be a concern. But if you wait until you feel that you can afford kids, you might be waiting forever.
Do not make this decision today... give it the proper thought. Either way, you will live with your choice for the rest of your life.
babydust
Sep 21, 2008, 03:20 PM
I no how hard it feels. My best friend has a baby boy who's only 2 months now. I see them everyday. I saw them today and yes your right a small part of me thought I could have this. We took him to the swings near our homes. But a huge part of me thought the right decision is to terminate. I am aware its not a form of birth control but sometimes its your only option. If my wedding wasn't so close and I hadn't just lost my job then god nothing in this world would make me give this child up. But my family have spent thousands of pounds on my wedding and I carnt give the baby what life it deserves at the minute. Im trying to make a mature decision as much as its killing me inside. I do agree I intend on having children in the future.. but I want my child to be my number 1.. Not in a long list of things to do that's not how a baby should be brought up. Thanks for your feed back and post x
babydust
Sep 23, 2008, 02:24 AM
Hi everyone. Well just an update to round my post off. I went to my gp and have decided to keep the baby. My wedding planners have sorted the arrangements and I've found it actually is possible for me to keep my plans and they've made a note to alter my dress. So thanks everyone for your help and advce xx
jjwoodhull
Sep 23, 2008, 05:45 AM
Congratulations!
Mapleleafpete
Sep 23, 2008, 01:27 PM
Way to go girl :)