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View Full Version : 7 months pregnant and kind of dumped


SoLostPlzHelp
Sep 19, 2008, 12:21 PM
Ok so here's my situation. I'm almost 7 months pregnant and my boyfriend just broke up with me last week. He said that he feels like I don't respect him or appreciate him and that he needs time to think about us working things out. He says that he still loves me a lot and misses me but he just wants to feel appreciated. He says that when he knows what he wants he'll let me know but it's just frustrating because I can't understand why it's taking him so long to decide. I feel this way because I know that I love him more than anything and would never have to think about wanting him or not. He says that he wants his space to think but I can still talk to him. He only said not to keep texting him if he doesn't answer. It's hard for me because I feel like if I don't talk to him then he'll forget that I'm here and still love him and care for him. He reassured me that he wouldn't forget about me but I'm still scared that he will. It's so hard for me not to talk to him because I miss him so much but I know that he needs space to think. And at the same time I don't want to have my son without because we planned this and this was something that we were supposed to do together and I don't want to do it without him.
Please just help me and give me advice. I feel like if I talk about it it might help me deal with it so I'm not trying to text him so much

Romefalls19
Sep 19, 2008, 01:00 PM
You said he told you that he didn't feel you respected him, well how was that? There is more to this story and we need the important details about the break up so we can better advise you

cantbelieveit
Sep 19, 2008, 01:04 PM
I hope you have a good family just in case he flakes out on you. It may seem harsh but I would be setting up some kind of plan just in case things don't work out. I think it's terrible a guy would do this to you especially since you planned having a little one together. Hopefully he will get his act together sooner than later to be there for you. If he can't then you'll have to be strong and find support somewhere. Believe me I know it's rough when you feel like you don't have support but in my situation it's just me and my problem I don't have to worry about a little one on the way too. My cousin went through something similar and she was so lucky to have my Uncle and Aunt be there for her 100%. They helped with everything since he wasn't going to. She got with this guy who turned out (she didn't find out until later) to be married. So she ended up pregnant and a single parent because he of course didn't leave his wife. Bad stuff...

SoLostPlzHelp
Sep 19, 2008, 01:10 PM
He feels like I don't respect him because he thinks my friends and I tend to make him the joke of this and I don't think that we do but I feel bad that he thinks that. And he thinks I tell him what to do like a child but if I don't tell him to look for a job or an apartment or something then he never will. I tell him to do it to give him a push otherwise it will never get done

SoLostPlzHelp
Sep 19, 2008, 01:14 PM
I know my family will be there for me. It's just hard with the baby because he adds to the stress. I know that if I wasn't about to have a baby then I would just let this whole thing go and move on but it's just hard when I want to work this out for us and our family.

cantbelieveit
Sep 19, 2008, 01:56 PM
I know my family will be there for me. It's just hard with the baby because he adds to the stress. I know that if I wasn't about to have a baby then I would just let this whole thing go and move on but it's just hard when I want to work this out for us and our family.
Well there is maybe some hope since he hasn't straight out said it's over and goodbye yet right? Keep your family close because you need people you can depend on. It's hard to understand what he's going through but if he comes around hopefully you guys can talk about what went wrong and work through it in a positive way. I sure do wish you and your little one the VERY best outcome possible!

SoLostPlzHelp
Sep 19, 2008, 02:28 PM
Thank you so much. I hope that every thing works out for us as well. I think the only thing that keeps me from completely breaking down is knowing that he hasn't said goodbye once and for all. I know that there's something inside of him holding him back from it and I hope whatever it is that's holding him back is a strong feeling and it help him see that we need to work this out. I talked to his best friend today who is in Iraq right now and he told me that he would talk to him for me to see what's going on and just to help him through this. I just thought that someone helping him would be good because I think this is way too much for him to handle on his own and he knows his best friend only wants what's best for him so maybe he'll take his best friend's advice to heart and really listen to him. I really appreciate that his friends want to help us work through this. I wish I could help him but he won't talk to me about it and I just need to give him space

talaniman
Sep 22, 2008, 05:28 AM
Your pregnant, and he is scared, and insecure, and selfish, and jealous. Leave him alone, he won't forget you, but this KID, needs some time to realize what to do with his changing world.

You both sound young, so depend on your family for help, and don't worry about him.

Fr_Chuck
Sep 22, 2008, 05:33 AM
And once the baby is born if he is not there full time, stop, breath and file for custody and child support, since you have to think of the child's needs over anything else.

He is most likely scared but if he is not working, does not have his own apartment, he really does not sound like he has any plan on taking care of a baby. And pushing him to work is not wrong,

SoLostPlzHelp
Sep 23, 2008, 10:45 AM
I just wanted to update everyone on what has been going on in within the past few days since I posted this. My ex has started talking to me on a regular basis and yesterday we were together all day. It was probably one of the best days of my life because it was nice to know he was right next to me. He told me that his friends and a few of his family members had told him that he shouldn't see me until he knew that I had changed but he decided to see me anyway because he was old enough to make his own decisions and know what was best for him and he knew that I was really trying to change so he decided to see me. We talked about how we still aren't together but we still both love each other very much. He told me that we were going to continue to spend time together until he made his final decision about if we were together or not. The funny thing is we do everything the same as when we were together. We still kiss, hold hands, cuddle, and tell each other we love each other. So I'm happy with acting the same without the title of a relationship right now. So we basically are together and are still faithful to each other, we just aren't technically in a "relationship"

cantbelieveit
Sep 23, 2008, 11:00 AM
Hope it continues to go well. Listen to him closely because he will be giving you information whether it be in his words or actions to rebuild something strong for you guys. Keep good communication between you :)

SoLostPlzHelp
Sep 23, 2008, 11:07 AM
Hope it continues to go well. Listen to him closely because he will be giving you information whether it be in his words or actions to rebuild something strong for you guys. Keep good communication between you :)

Thanks for the advice. I'll be sure to do that!

SoLostPlzHelp
Aug 19, 2009, 05:59 AM
Threads merged
So I'm 20 years old and have a 9 month old son with someone I always thought I would spend my life with. When we first met he was amazing and treated me like a princess. We broke up when I was 6 months pregnant and have been off and on for a while now. Currently we're off and he keeps telling me that he's not ready for a relationship and needs time for him right now. He says he loves me and cares for me still and when I ask him out he just tells me not right now. And when I make the comment that we're never going to be together again he tells me that "I didn't say that". But in the mean time he hasn't seen our son in 5 months so I'm not sure that he really wants to be with us at all.

Any advice?:confused:

Sooo Confused
Aug 19, 2009, 06:40 AM
He is obviously an immature, overwhelmed, little boy himself who refuses to grow up to be a man. If I were you, I would take the appropriate measures to seek support from the courts, because I have a feeling, if he has not accepted and embraced the blessing that God gave you at this time, he will never do it. You are wasting your time on that man. You need to enjoy and embrace that beautiful child that you and he created, and maybe one day he will see what he has missed, if not, don't let your son feel that that absence by dwelling on what could be. Good luck

talaniman
Aug 19, 2009, 09:44 AM
Sorry, but he is stringing you along, and will not man up, and be responsible for you, or your child together.

Stop letting him do this to you, and get your own life in order, without him, for the sake of both you, and your son.

That starts with child support. And beware, he may not want to pay, and will be sweet talking you, to get you to stop pursuing, on your son's behalf, the money to help support his child.

Handle your business, for your son, and get your life on a positive path, without this LOSER!