Well, I've been browsing these forums searching for any tips and advice... and its been helping so much... but I thought I'd start my own thread so I'd get more specific answers.

Anyway, I dated the sister of one of my friends(wasnt that close of a friend when I dated my ex, but eventually became really good friends). It wasn't my first relationship, but it was by far the best and my only loving relationship... we dated for 2 years and a few months... EVERYTHING was amazing... eventually I reached apoint in my life where everything seemed to have been derailed... I was incredibly stressed from school, car got broken into, friend issues and a bit of family issues... needless to say, during this time I neglected my girlfriend without realising it and I hurt her emotionally.

Being oblivious of the harm I did, she broke up with me, I was COMPLETELY devastated... and this was during final examinations... during the days after I was also involved in a car accident...

I was going through the typical breakup feeliings, emoitions and actions... I tried everything to get her back...

Eventually, I DID GET HER BACK... we were together for 2 months because she wanted to make sure she didn't make a mistake and eventually regret breaking up with me the first time... but this time around, she was so distant, just wasn't the same... things changed a lot... I love her so much but she was a completely differennt person... loveless and not interested, not attracted...

So I asked her why and she says that things have changed too much, not sure I love you etc etc...

So at this point I'm thinking that maybe we're actually done! And knowing that we didn't work out a second time made it easier for me to end the relationship... letting go of her because I want her to happy kind of situation... Its been 8 days since I broke up with her because I know is in it only for me... she was not into it.

But I still miss her like mad, and I;ve iniated the NO CONTACT rule, but since she is so close to my circle of friends, I hear about her/see her a lot more than I thought I would...

I mention that we can't be friends, and she gets mad at me,

WHAT DO I DO? I really want to just move on... I want to learn how to live withone the one I love... Thanks

-Eddie

Eddie - life is definitely complicated... that's for sure. Dating and relationships are difficult things, my friend, and sometimes there is no sure advice. But let me take a stab at it.

Sometimes, I think you just have to go with the flow of things. Your ex is still a part of your life, albeit more indirectly than directly (through your friends), and although you may wish that things were different right now, they are the way they are. Maybe you shouldn't try to front and pretend like you don't want to have contact with her when you really do, know what I mean? Just be real with your intentions and desires and when you come into contact with her, just be easy... don't try to come across like you don't care. Maybe what she needs is to have the courage to want to try dating you again. You could always tell her that during the time you were neglecting her, you were having a tough time with the issues of life. Tell her that you recognize that you did hurt her and acknowledge that and say that you are sorry... it was not your intention. Leave the ball in her court and see what happens.

Sometimes it's what we don't say that can often hurt us with others. Humbling yourself to her might help but be prepared that things may never change. And if that's the case, my friend you have to move on. It hurts, I know. But we grow and learn from our pain and sorrows.

You are taking the step in the right direction so keep stepping. Break the contact with her and maybe if needed step back from those friends if it is causing an issue. You have let go and need to continue to. Do not feel bad that you cannot be friends. Its not about her anymore its about you and healing.

Keep your head up high and move forward not backwards.

I don't know how old you are, but could be time for you to broaden your horizons, and do things more independently of your normal circle of friends.

While its difficult to be around an ex, having mutual friends, will always bring her in, and out of your daily routine. Just because you can't be friends, because it hurts, there is no reason to be rude or obnoxious. That's not what No Contact is about, rather being polite, and busy and unavailable is a better way to go, and carry on with your life.

It takes time to heal and move on so be patient with yourself and stay busy.

Read the stickies at the beginning of this forum, and apply those insights, and suggestions, to your own situation.

Talaniman got it exactly right... once again!

I am doing NC, but I am forced to see her and interact with her. I don't initiate the conversations though, unless I NEED to for professional reasons.

Staying busy is the best advice. Also, surrounding yourself in things that you enjoy is a MUST! Also, Tal was right when he said to start broadening your horizons with friends because nothing will ever change. Get out there and start experiencing new people! You never know what you will find.