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ANB428
Sep 18, 2008, 12:38 PM
One of my friends is having some problems with his visitation rights. He has been paying child support for his daughter every month. He gives the mother more than ordered to make sure that his daughter is taken care of. Every time he comes to my house he tells me that the mother is not letting him see his daughter and he is paying her child support. He says that every time he goes to pay the child support the mother is at work and her boyfriend taking care of the baby. Every time he asks the boyfriend where is daughter is so he can see her, he says that she is sleeping or that she is not there, when he knows that she is there.

I told him that he needs to call the family law office out here to tell them the situation and how the mother is not letting him see the child. I think they have joint custody. I am not positive. I know that he only gets to see her maybe two times a month though, which is way less then the custody order declares. Anyway he told me that he has tried calling everyone that he can, even the cops and they all told him that he has to wait two years until the next court date to do anything about it. I told him that it didn't all add up and I would see what I could find out. Is there any way that anyone can give me advice to tell him to see what he can do.

It really makes me mad because there are so many deadbeat dads out there who don't care and the ones that do pay child support always get screwed around by the mother because of the mother's personal vendetta. Any advice would be appreciated.

ballengerb1
Sep 18, 2008, 12:50 PM
None of us really knows what's said in the divorce decree. We hear one side, and although it sounds like he has rights, we just never really know the whole story. If he was given visitation and is being denied he need to go back to divorce court and ask the judge to see his rights are allowed.

ANB428
Sep 18, 2008, 12:53 PM
He was never married. They just went to the family law courts and got the custody and visitation rights done. He has never done anything to effect his daughter negatively, he has been working since I have known him (over a year). He has never been to jail, he doesn't do drugs and isn't old enough to drink. I know that I haven't heard the mother's side but I know him and I know that he is a good father. He just wants to actually be a father to his child.

stinawords
Sep 18, 2008, 12:54 PM
If he has visitation the he is not getting then he needs to go back to court to have it enforced. He could also request to pay through the court so he knows that the records of support are being kept so that he doesn't end up in court because she said she didn't receive it. His cancled checks will help prevent her winning in court but he needs to make sure he keeps them. The court separates support and visitation legally so it dosen't matter that he is regular and even paying over what matters is if he was ordered visitation.

ballengerb1
Sep 18, 2008, 12:55 PM
OK sorry I assumed too much. He still has a court order and if he has visitation then his oder is being violated. Folks who violate a court order usually do no stop just because you ask them to, they are already defying the law.

ANB428
Sep 18, 2008, 12:58 PM
How does he go back to court? Just walk in there and order to see the judge? He also told me that he couldn't go to court for two more years. Does that make since to you? I know that he has a record of paying her child support by check, or money order, and I told him that about paying more than he is supposed to. He just does it for his daughter, not to make him look better or for trying to get anything in return.

stinawords
Sep 18, 2008, 03:25 PM
He can't go back for two years if he is asking for a modification. However, what he has to do is petition the judge to enforce his visitation or hold her in contempt. No, he can't just walk in there he has to get a court date first. If he can get a lawyer it would be that much easier. First, he has to keep track of all the times that he wasn't able to see the child when he was supposed to be able to so that he can bring that into court with him.

ANB428
Sep 18, 2008, 03:29 PM
Who does he need to contact to set up a court date if he does not have a lawyer? Thanks for all of your help!

cdad
Sep 18, 2008, 06:14 PM
He needs to contact the court where the order comes from. What state are you in because in some states the police are required to honor custody papers and help enforce them. In Calif if you have the papers and its your time with the child they will remove the child from the non coperating parent. Also I would advise that he not overpay his child support and stick to what's ordered. If she needs extra he can get it for her that way his money isn't going to the new BF. By law the mothers don't really have to account where the money goes in many states.

Fr_Chuck
Sep 18, 2008, 07:07 PM
And to be honest he should get an attorney, he will also need to document what days he tries to see the child and what happens.

ANB428
Sep 19, 2008, 07:12 AM
We live in Alabama. I used to live in California and I told him about calling the cops and showing them the custody order because out there I knew that they could force the visitations. When I told him that he told me that he has called the cops and the family law office. I will advise him to retain a lawyer and I will also let him know that he needs to keep a log of visitations. Thanks everyone for all of your help!!

myson2007
Sep 21, 2008, 07:33 PM
I have a son he is 1 year old.he is with my xgirlfriend now.she is married now and legaly that person his father now.is there any way I can get my son.