I have a four year old son, he's father hasn't bothered since he was 1. His father was violent and aggressive and had a restraining order on him.
I have now been with my new partner for a year and a half and we are getting married in 2010, can we start the adoption process now, so when we are married we can all have the same name?:confused:

Talk to a lawyer in your area.

My sister and her husband had his adoption of her son finalized at their wedding, and they called it "A Making of a Family" on all of their invitations and such.

You will, however, need to get the bio dad to sign away his rights first.

Every state has different adoption laws, which is why you need to see a local lawyer to get correct advice.

It will depend on your state, some still require you to be married for a year before you can file, in others cases there is no such requirement. But in all cases the bio father will have to sign over rights

I agree. Getting a lawyer is your best bet. He/she will know the state laws. You will need to get the bio father to sign over his rights, however with the restraining order in place, there may be a way 'around it" or it might not be necessary. All depends on the specifics and your state laws. This FAQ section may help: Adoption Questions about Open and Closed Adoptions, US and Domestic Adoptions, and more... (http://rapidadoption.com/support.html#at_stepparent)