A friend of mine from online only, for a couple years, has recently lost her husband of 30+ years to cancer.

I know her address via the white pages, would it be inappropriate to personaly drop of flowers or a card on her doorstep even though she has never given me her specific address (only general)? I don't want to introduce myself in person in such a way, just leave it and go.

I wouldn't. As nice as the gesture may seem... I think it would kind of freak anyone out that you just dug up her address and showed up. Ask her before you do it.

(just my opinion though)

StaticFX, that was my thought too, but I thought I would ask.

Another question might be, is it appropriate to ask her for her address for this reason?

Yes, if you have been online friend for a few years. I don't see any reason why you can't ask. If she doesn't think its appropriate, then she will say so.

I agree that it is not the best time to meet in person. However, sending a card or flowers would be appropriate and probably greatly appreciated. If you found her address via the white pages, then she has listed it with her phone company. If she did not want people to find it, she would have an unlisted number.

As this happened to my mother last year when my father died, I can assure you that the flowers and/or card is a nice idea. HOWEVER, don't show up on her doorstep. Have the flowers and/or card sent.