WEll I know she is not a lesbian but maybe someone can help me. We became friends through work a year and a half ago. She has two children but single. So we became close like we just hit it off from the start. I told her I wanted to be honest with you that I felt more for her than she felt for me. That I was really falling in love with her. And at first it And at first it was a little strange because she totally avoided me for about a week or two and then she all of a sudden started talking to me because of a guy she was having problems with. Then she told me she wanted to talk about what I said to her. So we spoke about it but the questions that stood out that she asked me was “What made you think I was a les, and If I was dating you how would it be different than the way we are as friends. So I answered her questions and stuff so we were kool about it and moved on. Now just to give you the short version of her character. We are both into poetry and she is African American very cultural like the neo soul type. She is very sexual with men meaning she sleeps around with men she knows but doesn’t like for a relationship. But on the other hand she is real nice, funny, considerate and emotional. Im telling you if I was a guy we definitely would have been together a long time ago cause it seems like I am the only person in her life that matches her from the way she acts but I am a girl. So anyway even though I am very attracted to her I always kept it on a friendship level I never came on to her. However here and there she would call me baby and treat me like a second parent to her children. Then she would stare at me from time to time with one of those deep in thought looks. And she would tell me you can always make me laugh. So I am like huh? And I just brush it off. So one day she calls me and we are talking and I am noticing her voice is very sexual sounding. She then says can she ask me a question? I said yes, She says that she was masturbating and she wanted me to come over and help her with it. I guess like basically getting down and dirty with her. So I told her I would but I was too far away because my parents were having a BBQ. So she was like You are the one that got me like this” I said how? She said weren’t you attracted to me when you first met me. I said yes. But I knew not to take it to that level unless you wanted it to go there. I said put it this way. I would never come on to you but if you came on to me I would never say no. So she was like well you know I never been with a woman. Then her phone clicks over and she left me on hold and never came back. I tried texting her and calling her no answer. I see her at work and she is totally avoiding. I need help I just don’t know what is going on with you we haven’t spoken for a week. I even sent her an e-mail saying She can't talk to me about whatever I never assume anything. I just don’t understand what happened. Maybe she just had a horney moment and snapped back. But that’s cool with me I okay with just being friends it was just a weird moment. But so won't even try and speak with me at all. Its as if she wants me to disappear. But it just hurts because I always looked to her as a friend before anything else. Please what do you think happened?was

I think you got it right when you said she got horny and then "snapped back". She is probably embarressed about it. Since you seem to be okay with just being friends, I think you should tell her that you understand that she just had a "weird moment" on the phone... it happens.

Sounds like she's playing games, or she's confused about her sexuality.

You said she's a very sexual person, well perhaps she's decided to experiment. She knows you are attracted to her and she's testing the waters with you. You basically turned her down on the phone and now she's angry, and even more confused.

I would stick to friendship with this women, she's just playing around and you're likely to get hurt.

Good luck.

Yea I totally agree with you guys but the thing that hurts is that she is totally ignoring me. I had a medical situation that I had to go to the emergency room for. I texted her and even called her to let her know what was going on and even after all that she still made no effort to call or text me even if she didn't want to speak to me. Just to ask are you okay. And that is what really hurt. I considered her a friend before any thing else and I don't care if I am pissed or embarrassed with you. If some happens to you I will be there for you no matter what and even her children if something went wrong no matter how I am feeling. And I try to tell her all the time we don't have to do this alone that is what friends are for. So at least you have one person in your life that does not judge you. If she felt embarrassed she could have told me by now our at least e-mailed me or something if she felt so uncomfortable. And I would have been like okay whatever it was a moment no one else knows about it is not that serious lets just move on. But for some reason she is holding on to that moment as it is the end of her life.

I really think she's just using you. Think about it, with friends like her, you don't need enemies. Friends are supposed to make you feel good, not horrible.

This is the perfect opportunity to cut her out of your life and find a true friend or more than a friend. It sounds like she's been holding you back.

This is not your fault, she's the one that decided to experiment and test the waters of your friendship, not you, so don't beat yourself up about this, you are not to blame.

Look forward, not back, what's done is done. If you wish to save this friendship then leave her alone, the ball is in her court now, you tried everything you could, and she's rejected it. Trust me, when she needs you she'll call.

Good luck.