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teddy wall
Sep 6, 2008, 12:11 PM
Exgirlfriend lied to me about another guy that she told me he was just a friend! Got in arquement and she changed her numb ? Love her dearly want her back !

>Moved from Forum Help<

spyderglass
Sep 6, 2008, 02:46 PM
You do nothing-
There is nothing that you can do to
Get her back
You didn't do anything wrong-
She did
And she handled it wrong-
If she contancts you treat her cooly-
There are plenty of other girls out there- all this means
Is the two of you are not meant for each other-
Sorry if I seem harsh- I'm not trying to be but you will end up
With the person you are meant to- even if it takes another 1 or 2 years-
Get back in touch with yourself first- and then get back into the dating game
NO REBOUNDS!
GOOD LUCK!

Mom of 2
Sep 6, 2008, 03:00 PM
All relationships, whether they are friendships, dating or family, are ALL based on trust. The fact that she lied to you means that she broke that trust. You can take the advice from people who have been there and done that, but only you can decide what you should do.

However, pose the question of whether you can trust this person again. Then proceed with what you think you should do. The only one who can help you with this is yourself. You have the answers within yourself.

talaniman
Sep 6, 2008, 03:43 PM
You may miss the good times, and being with her, but the lying, and cheating, can you really overlook that?? You shouldn't. Disappear from her life, heal, and get a better class of g/f. One you can trust, and is loyal. You will be much happier.

paradoxlie
Sep 6, 2008, 08:09 PM
Time to move on...

Ash123
Sep 6, 2008, 08:18 PM
Did she sleep with him?

See my survival guide below.

teddy wall
Sep 7, 2008, 01:00 PM
She's been distant spent time with her in August going to broncos game , spending time on my birthday with me etc ! Called her one time and a guy answerd the phone talking all gangster lingo ! It upset me a great deal and jealousness and trust issues came at play ! She got a tattoo on her back of a fairy by this guy she got hooked up with and that night she came over we had sex and things were at the norm with us ! Then a week later she doesn't text or answer the phone I get in panick mode and burned her phone up till this guy answerd ! I was spent and dazed ! Tattoo guy called her up and hooked her up with his buddy and things went down hill from there ! My time with her became his time I got stern asking what is going on , she said there my friends 2 guys ! I don't buy it ! Then a arquement and harsh words came out and then she changed her number ! What do you all think!

Ash123
Sep 7, 2008, 02:24 PM
Time to walk away from the car wreck.

She has not evidenced any potential or character.

She is erratic and her number is changed.

No need to chase that wreck buddy. Whether he is a boyfriend or not, she clearly wants NO responsibility...

teddy wall
Sep 7, 2008, 03:51 PM
You can just feel it that things are different ! I admit its scary and the future looks blank to me as I take each day in stride . I work and stay active but that dark cloud always catches up to me and slaps reality in my face !

Ash123
Sep 7, 2008, 06:38 PM
Yep, reality SUCKS.

But time makes it better and better.

Until one day... you are OK again.

wikedjuggalo
Sep 7, 2008, 06:45 PM
Man save yourself more heart ache. Walk away be strong, know that someone is out there who deserves the love you have to give. If she is messing with other guys and can't even tell you that's a sign she doesn't care as much about you as you do her.

I know it sounds harsh but man the cut cord before you become strangled with it.

theEMOgrlYOUluv
Sep 7, 2008, 06:53 PM
How did she lie to you? If she told you he was a friend then he was a friend! So what if she has a friend that's a guy!! Don't fight over it!

wikedjuggalo
Sep 7, 2008, 07:02 PM
how did she lie to you?! if she told you he was a friend then he was a friend!! so what if she has a friend thats a guy!!! dont fight over it!!

Its not that simple, if you call your girlfriend and she has a guy answer her phone, and has become distant and has now changed her number and hasn't contacted you. I can put money on she is with someone else. Read back over his post please, not the just the first.

Save yourself the heartache and let her go man it sucks I know it really does. But you can't force her to be with you or have feelings for you.

Mom of 2
Sep 7, 2008, 08:09 PM
Again, relationships are built on trust and respect in both directions. It doesn't sound like you are getting either from her. Move on. Things are going to feel tough for a while, but it will get better. It is better to be alone and become strong than to be with someone that you can't trust and feel depleted. I've gone through a lot of heart ache myself and during the moment you feel that you just can't go on. But believe me, it will get better. People used to tell me that all of the time and I had a hard believeing it, but it is so true. Keep yourself busy with work, school or whatever it is that you do. Surround yourself with good people. You will get through this. Know that you are not alone, as I am sure that you have family and friends that love and care about you. At the very least, you have people on this site who care enough about your situation to help you in any way that they can. Use us to vent your feelings and we will try and help you through this.

lmangileri
Sep 7, 2008, 08:22 PM
Yeah, you definitely need to move on. As hard as it will be, it will get better with time. I'm married now, but if I was just in a relationship with someone and I really cared about him I wouldn't be going and hanging out with other guys unless I was bringing him with me to meet them. And if she changed her phone number that's even worse. She's looking for an easy way out- doesn't want to own up to her actions. Just know that it's not your fault. She screwed up- not you.

teddy wall
Sep 9, 2008, 10:06 AM
Sad thing is that we went last August got a 03 outlander and I'm primary on the viecle she is also on lease but has car out of the 10 months we had it she has been late on payments 6 times . Chrysler financial calls me as she ignores there calls and mine then she would text me sarcasticly saying I will pay it back off omfg ! I meet her on my cell two years ago on a chat line she lives in st joe Missouri got to know her and met finally she was a prison guard I moved her out here to colo and she became a denver sherrif and I help her through it all ! Along came the impowerment and attitude . I came home it would be 20 questions basically who what why where ! I I would leave my phone take a shower to find her going through it ! It got so bad she would have me send pictures from my cell to prove where I was at ! Point is there was no way I could have women as friends at all she would chase them off or call them and make it known she was my girlfriend and lose my number ! Then she pulls this on me ! Makes me upset ! Some of those women are clients from my work and it embarrases me ! What you all think??

teddy wall
Sep 9, 2008, 11:22 AM
I guess what erks me the most is she is punking me in front of them and making me look like the worst person in the world ! One of those things I guess that she wants to feel better what she is doing to me to get the easy way out ! I made a mistake bringing her out here to colo ! I feel like a stepping stone! She moved out April of 06 and she had 3 places she has lived since ! I got a weakness and yes its bad but I help her ! I shouldn't but I'm a guy that's when in need will come through and I been burned too many times ! Big lesson but when you love someone its either jump in or leave it alone ! Thanks for the insites to everyone !

teddy wall
Sep 9, 2008, 02:42 PM
Correction on car we got ! Got the car in August of 07 not last August! Whoops!!

Mom of 2
Sep 9, 2008, 06:37 PM
Either way, you need to straighten the car situation out as that is going to really have a negative impact on your credit. If you are the primary on the lease, why in the heck does she have it and not you? This is a lesson to everyone - unless you are married, DON'T EVER PURCHASE A HIGH TICKET ITEM WITH SOMEONE.

I was married to a police officer myself so I know what you have to put up with. I need to state at this point that I am aware that all police officers are not all the same. However, the police officer that I was married to was controlling (constantly checking what I was doing, where I was, etc.) even when I was not doing anything wrong. If I even said hi to another guy, he made it seem that I must be having an affair with him, which was NEVER the case. Note: be careful of anyone who accuses you of something that you are not guilty of because those accusing you of this are probably guilty of the same thing that they are accusing you of (It turns out that he had several affairs throughout our marriage). He would also check my phone on a regular basis and question who I was talking to and what I said. After a while, I realized that what he was doing was emotional abuse and isolating behaviors. It took me a while to get out of the relationship - as divorce always takes a long time with a controlling personality. However, I am so happy that I got out. I may not have a lot of material things, but I still have my own self respect. I am now full of hope and promise and every day is better than the next. I felt that I had to share a little bit about my story as it is so similar to yours. I just wanted you to see that even in the worst relationships, it can get better once you leave the controlling person. Stop worrying about what other people think about you. It should only matter that you are trying to make your life the best that it can be. Yes, from what you have shared, I would say that you are somewhat of a doormat. You have two choices; you can either continue with this behavior and remain a victim or you can get as far away from this person as possible and find the empowerment for yourself to make your life better.

The important thing is to realize your mistakes, make the corrections, learn from your mistakes and try not to repeat them. You can't worry about what has happened in the past because you can't change it anyway.

Take care and I hope that this helps. It will hurt for a while, but it will get better.

turbogtir
Sep 9, 2008, 07:09 PM
Dam this is like a worse version of my situation, man have a read of this shi* all right this my advice to you, I found this from a website. This is probably the only chance you got, Don't TRY CHASE HER DUDE!


How to Handle Being Dumped

By Jariel

Earlier this year I met a girl in a 3-year long-term relationship. She admitted she was attracted to me and started developing feelings for me. Things with her boyfriend were turning stale and in the end she decided to break up with him and pursue a relationship with me.

I felt flattered and rather cocky knowing I had just won this girl from her long-term boyfriend. Things were going well, she didn't want to talk to him and every time he called she brushed him off. Her friends praised me, she was proud to be with me, and things were developing fast.

However, her ex-boyfriend suddenly changed his attitude and instead of getting jealous of me or upset over being dumped, he gave us his best wishes, told her there were no hard feelings and he moved on. He started hanging round with his friends more and stopped calling her.

After two weeks of not hearing from him she started calling him to check if he was OK and see what he was up to, only to find he was fine and enjoying his free time. Soon she started pushing him to remain friends and asking him to meet up with her. He postponed, cut his calls with her short, and even stood her up a few times.

Yet she persisted more.

All this time I could see it was getting under her skin and that I was losing her affection. I could have been the perfect guy, but he had the upper hand and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. Every time he made an excuse not to meet her or ignored her call, she would get uptight and keep moaning about him.

Sure enough she told me she wanted him back. She left me and started pursuing him all the time, but he continued backing off. She became obsessed and depressed, wouldn't look at another guy and even burst out crying if he didn't answer her calls.

Next thing I hear, they're back together under his terms. He had her in the palm of his hand.

Ithappenstoall
Sep 10, 2008, 12:16 AM
This girl is immature, and is not being honest with you. Trust in not really there anymore which would be a good reason to leave already but on top of that if she is not able to communicate whe you talk to her that is also a good reason to leave her. Communication is key and if she gets annoyed when you guys discuss something or reacts pissed of and takes drastic actions (change her number), how can you deal with this for 2, 3, 10 years.

Dump her and do not look back!!

teddy wall
Sep 11, 2008, 02:42 PM
We text but she act like nothings wrong and just hanging with her guy friends as she puts it ! I am trying to refinance the car to only my name and then call the internal affairs at the sherriffs office where she works and have them stand by when I get the car and keys from her and she can take her belongings out ! This is was I was advised to do by chrysler financial !

Mom of 2
Sep 11, 2008, 05:58 PM
It's great to hear that you have a plan. You need to take care of yourself and your own financial situation. I believe that this is excellent advice from Chrysler and you should follow it.

Be sure that you keep your cool when talking to her work and that you have all the documentation/paperwork to prove that you have the right to take the car. Remember, they are police and she is one of them. If for some reason things don't go EXACTLY how you had planned and you "lose it" when talking to them or when the car is getting picked up, it is their word against yours over what happens. I don't know if it is possible, but I would also keep all of the texts and emails that she has sent you until after you get the car - and even for a little while after just in case she tries to pull something. I don't know what she would try to pull, but you never know. I probably would not let her know what you are doing (trying to get it refinanced) until after you got it done. Consider yourself lucky that it is currently financed and that Chrysler holds the title. Otherwise if both of your names were on the title, you would have to get her signature and approval to get her off the title.

teddy wall
Sep 15, 2008, 11:10 AM
You your right I've been with her many of times she would get pulled over for speeding etc denver cop would ask for i.d. she would and also slip her sherriffs i.d. to cop would not give her a ticket or anything but only to hand back i.d. and tell her to slow it down ! Amazes me ! That was me I get a ticket ! She is a heavy set girl weighs @ 250 short blond hair and a bad knee ! Has a hair trigger attitude and will get in your face and test you ! She has pushed me and hit me in the chest etc ! Forget having girls as friends she would run them off ! A lot of my friends have been supportive and helping me through this ! She is down to earth only when she wants something ! Rest of the time look out!!

teddy wall
Oct 11, 2008, 10:56 AM
OK now I harassed her about making payments and tried to get a hold of her she called police wrote a report and got served and thrown in jail for contacting her about payment of car . What do I do?

talaniman
Oct 11, 2008, 11:13 AM
I think you should clarify that with more details, as collecting money owed, is not a jail able offense, unless you did more than ask for money.

talaniman
Oct 12, 2008, 05:40 AM
You have two options here, walk away and recoup your losses thru the court system/ small claims.

Walk away and leave her alone, and chalk this up to experience and end this drama.

rodie151
Oct 12, 2008, 05:52 AM
Move on really is the best thing, if she's lying and your having this many problems now... read the writing. I had to be the barer of bad new but...

I have a site which might help, it deals with relationship, how to get out, how to heal, stuff like that. It might be helpful.

Relationships, Get Them Right And You Can’t Go Wrong (http://www.dream-life-coaching.com/relationships.html)

Mom of 2
Oct 14, 2008, 12:10 PM
Are you in jail now? We need more details.

However, there are always more than one way to do things and apparently you went over that line. Cops are GREAT about provoking other people and protecting their own. Cops protect other cops and you just have to learn to accept it, because it ain't going to change. Pay attention to what you are doing and make sure that you are not breaking the law and stop worrying about the injustices of what cops are able to get away with. Yes, you need to be aware of what they are able to get away with, but only so far as to protect yourself and to better understand their modus operandi. My ex, who is a cop, knew exactly what it took to push my buttons. I never ended up in jail, but early on, he knew how to get me to do something or to say something and then would try and use it against me. I eventually learned that it is better to keep your mouth shut whenever possible. If you are trying to collect on a debt, make all of the arrangements through email so that you have everything in writing. Also, don't send her email after email after email all in one day. Notify her and let her respond. Yes, this situation should make you angry. Remember that anger is a feeling and that feelings are not good or bad, they just are feelings. REACTIONS to feelings is what is good or bad.

Please provide more details so that we may be better able to give you advice.

Good luck to you!!