Well where to begin...
I've been having problems with this relasionship from the beginning.now 5 years later and 1 daughter things have gotten worse.
He has left us to go on a brake.he says that he will come back when I realise that he's been doing the best he can.
To me,he took the cowards way out and bailed when the tuff got going.
Lately he's taken no interest in me what so ever,his resons are because I argue with him.he leaves all the household chores to me,falling asleep at like 7.30-8pm everynite.then he's been getting up at early hours of the morning going on the computer (cos he can't sleep) I found chat sites on the history.. he says he didn't go into any,just looked them up.
Funny thing is,he banned chat sites when we first got the computer,saying that we wernt allowed on them.now he's changed the rules.
*he also banned me having male friends when we first met,saying that a guy never wants to be just friends.even though at the time he was very friendly with someone from work (then we went on a BRAKE and he slept with her)i forgave him and took him back,that was year 1 of our relasionship.
He now says that he wants to be friends with woman,and he is (some1 from work)she is married with 1 kid,I have met her twice and she is nice.
However,he lies about phone calls.I found 2 missed calls from her and an outgoin call to her.I asked if they ring each other and he said no,that he doesn't know how the calls got there??
He deletes the phone calls now,saying I shouldn't be nosy.& keeps his phone on himall the time.
He also found her number inmy phone and went right off at me for having it.I told him that if nothing was going on,then it shouldn't be a problem.
I get in trouble for feeling insecure and he says that there is no way anything is going on and that I just have to except that he is friends.
Auh and now I'm allowed to have male friends if I want.I can go out with them and he says he wouldn't question me about it.that he's over the whole jelousy thing.
He's changing the boundries that he put up to suit himself.
We have been arguing about it for 3wks now,and he makes out its all my fault.its so hard to get straight answers from him because he then questions my questions!! who does that?
This woman friend of his also buys presents for our daughter,she is from the philiphines and I know they are a giving culture,but it makes me feel uneasy.
He wouldn't like it if a male friend of mine was doing that.
So now my dauhter and I are the ones who are being punished,for what he's doing.he never thinks he does anything wrong,that its all me.
I know I argue,but I feel insecure about the whole thing.
He says there's nothing wrong with what he's doing,chat rooms and always watching porn when ever I leave the house,even when he's watching our daughter.most of the time he deletes it all.
He says he loves me,but I really haven't felt loved lately.
Am I just being terribly insecure?or is he just an arrogant coward who likes to play with my head??

Oh dear Bunny, the short answer to both those questions is to the first - yes and to the second - yes.

You seem very insecure you poor thing, but you should be concerned. Many unfortunately let computers control their lives especially when there is so much to see and do at the touch of a button. I'm not surprised he changed the rules, probably after discovering some interesting sites. The phone calls - well, they say women are usually right when it comes to gut instincts, or something like that. Anyway, if you know for sure that he is lying, why didn't YOU take the break?

He has already cheated, you have already given him a second chance - he has blown it as far as I can see, by running away from the issues yet again.
This seems to be his way of getting to sleep with other women, by going on a "break". Yeh good excuse! NOT. How many times really are you going to let him go on these "breaks" before you completely lose the plot? An old friend of mine let her hubby do it 7 times. On the eighth she finally got the message that he wasn't worth it, and by this time her boys were nearly teenagers.

The thing is, he probably knows you well enough to realise that he can pretty much do whatever he likes and you'll accept any dumb old excuse he gives as good enough. The longer you keep accepting them, the worse he'll get. So if he is not willing to make adjustments for your piece of mind (your arguing and dredging things up will not help him change), it's probably time for you to go on a permanent break. Just make sure you have the necessary support and help (friends, family etc) before you begin any major changes in you and your child's life. All the best Bunny, and keep your head up high!

You stated when the relationship started your had problems and now 5 years later with a daughter the problem remains and worsten. Was you insecure entering this relationship? If not I can see why. You would think since your was together for so long things would be different but it's not because your're on separate pages. Bailing when things get tough and leaving your family, shows how much he cares and what he is unwilling to face. Without communication, and trust how can this relationship survive? He already proven he is a liar. If you are staying for the child that's no good. Can you really see yourself with this guy for the next 5 years or the next 6 months? What exactly are you getting from being with him? Ask yourself these questions and see your answers?

You really need to think about your future, as you know what you have been through, so do you want more of the same?