Log in

View Full Version : 2 and a half and terrified of flies


COOKIE MONSTER
Aug 27, 2008, 04:17 PM
My son is 2 and a half and the last few weeks he has decided to be scared by flies or anything that looks like them,it doesn't matter how big or small they are,
He screams like he's being attacked by a savage dog.
He's never been stung,or bitten and nothing strange or unusual has happened in the last few weeks

I have sat and told him there's nothing to be scared of,and they won't get him or anything.
I've asked him if anything is bothering him,I've showed him them when they land,I've shown him a dead 1 to show him the wings and legs etc,
But nothing has helped he still freaks out even when they are dead or outside

I'm hoping he will grow out of it,but has anybody got any more ideas [PLEASE]

He freaked out a about a small piece of black fluff which was floating in the bath with him,the fluff was ordinary sock fluff which was stuck in between his toes until he got in the bath and it started floating round the bath [he thought it was a fly] he screams until its gone,he freezes and won't move,unless he's moved by me or someone else.I showed him that I had sock fluff just like the fluff in the bath it didn't help either

ANY HELP WOULD BE GREAT
IVE TRIED EVERYTHING I CAN THINK OF

Solaxys
Aug 27, 2008, 04:36 PM
By the sound of it, I don't think he "decided" to be scared of it, I think it's a phobia.
Some event occurred, or some dream went wrong, or someone who met him recently might have spooked him, and that etched into his mind.
But again, he's 2.5 year old. As he grows up, he might grow out of it.

What you should do is try to find the reason why he is scared of them so much.
If it is sometype like the boogie monster, or monster in his closet, then the best you could do is basically keep getting him used to house flies etc...
However, if he says something like they just freak him out for no apparent reason, then there is nothing you can do for such a young mind.
He'll have to grow out of it, or counselling as he ages and if the fear still persists.

And the "frozen" aspect of this, I need clarification.
Is it like a freeze where every movement with him stops, or is it a freeze where he immediately stops responding to stimulus.
If it's the first one, immediate medical attention.
Speak to a doctor about it.
If it's the second one, then it's a made-up process by his brain to "escape" from the dreaded fly.
Which will fade with the phobia.

On a final note, be very careful with him, as you don't know how serious this is yet.
But if you feel insecure, consult a pediatrician.

BlakeCory
Aug 27, 2008, 04:48 PM
CM,

No matter how unreasonable or irrational your child's fear may seem to you or others remember and accept that it is very real to them. Be compassionate and understanding with everything you say and do to help them overcome their fear. It's easy to become frustrated but getting angry, ridiculing a child, or forcing them to face the object of their fears will not help and may actually prolong the problem by reinforcing their fear.

Do not allow anyone to do this to your child.

Between the ages of two and four, most children will develop a fear of something. Fear is a normal part of early childhood development, and fear of animals is extremely common, particularly around the age of three. Fear is a protective instinct. If a child feels a particular animal is a threat to their safety, they will feel afraid.

Sometimes fear of a particular animal may stem from a scary encounter. Sometimes children actually learn to be afraid of certain animals by watching their parent's adverse reactions. Most children seem to develop fears for no other reason than their own perceptions and feelings of helplessness.

If handled sensitively, most childhood fears disappear in time, just like many other behavior stages. Children 'grow out' of their fears as they mature and gain more experience in life. In the meantime, parents can help their child cope with their feelings and over time, may gradually be able to defuse or desensitize potentially scary situations.

Acknowledge your child's feelings and encourage your child to talk about how they feel, but don't insist they tell you why they are afraid. They may not even know themselves. Try to avoid overreacting, you may reinforce your child's fears by giving them too much attention, but do offer comfort and reassurance.

-BC

COOKIE MONSTER
Aug 27, 2008, 04:57 PM
By freeze I'm mean he will just stand were ever he is,he won't run away,he just stands their and screams/crys as loud and as hard as he can.

We don't have many new people coming in and out of are life/house,the bedroom doors are always shut so he hasn't been shut I with 1,no monsters are mentioned in the house,my kids don't watch TV so he couldn't have seen it on their.ive asked my doctor she said just like everybody else he'll grow out of it

He won't tell me anything,why he's scared or if anything is bothering him
He changes the subject and starts talking about his helicopters or trains anything,I've tried I've got dr spock book or what ever his/her name is and afew others I've tried all they've said about it,sit and talk,discuss the whys,where's,how's etc

Solaxys
Aug 27, 2008, 05:01 PM
Then yes CM.
Just keep it tight with him, hold him down, and console him from time to time.
All you can hope is he grows out of it.
It's quite natural for an aging mind to pick a certain thing and fear it.
It's growth in a way.

As for his freezing, well that is a way the brain is trying to get away from the danger, to him, at hand.
I've seen a lot of children behave in that fashion, so nothing to worry about.

Just don't forget you are a mother, and you must be there for him when this happens.
And the rest will go smoothly. =)

COOKIE MONSTER
Aug 27, 2008, 05:20 PM
I have helped the flies out the window,I've killed them and I tell him there gone now and there's nothing to be scared of etc
It might be just me but I was thinking it was fear and he's looking for attention so he makes it 10 times worse than his fear is.
I understand being scared we are all scared of something,but its getting out of hand.
I really thought afew weeks ago that somebody was trying to snatch him out my back garden,the screams from him,because a fly about 3mm long was on the seat of his bike

He's a good boy,he helps tidy up,takes care of his younger brother,always says please and thank you,plays with his brother
Loves planes and helicopters [ I even tried telling him they were like baby helicopters]sound stupid but it helped for aweek or 2

It started before my boyfriend came along-so its not him
I thought he could be jealous of his brother-so I put his brother down for a nap during the day to spend time with him,drawing,painting etc

I did fall out with my mum his nan,we've not seen her since april/may
We didn't see much of her as it was

Believe me I've sat here thinking and talking to people about it for agood while now

joanne 1986
Aug 30, 2008, 08:41 AM
My daughter was excactly the same with flies,when she would see them she would scream as if someone was attacking her or something,I tried everything to try to stop her getting scared nothing worked! She eventually grew out of this and now is terrified of spiders.

J_9
Aug 30, 2008, 08:44 AM
My daughter was the Same way with flies at the age of 3. Even when there weren't any around, she would "see" them and scream. We would sing Shoo Fly Don't Bother Me and run around the house flinging our hands everywhere and shooing the flies away. It became a game and she grew out of it.

Normal kid behavior.

isabelle
Aug 31, 2008, 12:48 PM
I agree with he above posters. Never belittle his fears. To him it is very real and scary.
I hope he grows out of it as flies are everywhere. But for now it sounds like you are doing all you can do.
It can be hard but hang in there, next week it could be grass hoppers. Stay sympathetic and see how it goes. Never try to make him accept them.
I like the shoo fly thing. Try that and see how it works.

ConfusedInAK
Sep 7, 2008, 06:18 PM
My 3 year old (she turned three this August)... just went through this this summer... and we decided to make a game of it...

Might sound gross, but I collected all sort of flying bugs and other crawlers in jars (yeah they were already dead)

But I showed her they were in jars, couldn't hurt her and then we looked at every bug... I showed her the bugs that could hurt her and all the bugs that won't.

She totally calmed down and stopped freaking out at mosquitos... now she points...

Dragonflies won't hurt me... instead of AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

;)

COOKIE MONSTER
Sep 22, 2008, 04:21 PM
Cool thanks everyone

He's now saying ''go away flies'' he still gets a bit freaked out about the big blue bottles and the wasps but not as bad

Grass hoppers lol

isabelle
Sep 24, 2008, 08:53 AM
I get a bit freaked out about the big blue bottles flies and the wasps.
It sounds like you are doing the right things. It is normal to be a little afraid of things, but when it interfers with a persons life tbat is going too far. It spunds s if you are getting control of this. Keep up the good work.