Hello. I have had some bad relationships in the past. I am a very honest guy, and I always treat the girl I care about very very well, and I always end up with a girl that treats me really bad, and I think it damages me a little bit. I haven't been completely happy with a girl for over a year now. I just seem to be brain dead when it comes to relationships now. I used to know how to handle myself really well. I have been trying to get out in the dating field again for a while now, but I work a lot, and don't have a lot of time to find a girl. I just recently met a girl for a minute and I gave her my number and told her if she was interested, then to call me. I had my phone shut off because the battery was really low. When I turned it on, I seen that she actually called me. I called back and didn't get anybody, but got ahold of her through text message the next day. I just want to know things and I think I take things way to serious anymore when it comes to relationships. I always goof off with my friends and I make a lot of people laugh, but I seem different when it comes to girls, and I feel to uptight or something, I think it was because all the last girls I dated treated me so bad. Does anyone have any advice on how I should go about things. I almost need a personal coach for dating now I think. Haha

All I can tell you is to be yourself. The reason you get uptight is because you're nervous, but you have to realize that the reason the girl probably likes you is due to your humor when you're around your friends. You have to keep reminding yourself to relax.

You should check into Doc Love; he's the best!

Hey! Thank both of you for your help. Where can I find this Doc Love character?

Hey! thank both of you for your help. where can i find this Doc Love character?
Google!
Doc Love - Google Search (http://www.google.com/search?q=Doc+Love&btnG=Search&hl=en&sa=2)

Being yourself, and taking your time to have fun, and get to know someone is the dating experience. Enjoy it for what it is, a chance to be around females ( or males for the ladies) in a casual setting.

It also gives you a chance to cope with your own feelings, and a chance to see the difference between love and lust, two very confusing intense feelings.

Just take things slow and stay on your toes. You just met this girl so you don't really know how things will turn out. If you do wind up in a relationship with her be honest, be yourself, and have good communication and don't think she's like every girl that did you wrong from the past. I think you came across some bad seeds but there's someone for everyone. Also folloqa your instincts and relax, don't over think stuff.

Thanks to everyone who has helped me. I think a big part is that I think every new girl will do me like the last girl who did me bad. It scares me a bit. I am an honest guy, and I just want the same in return.

It does seem like you've been burned in the past, don't let it stop you from getting out there and meeting different ladies. There are plenty women out there waiting to meet an honest guy. Take it easy, just have fun and get to know them before you jump into anything, that way you will slowly learn to get back in the game.

That is a good idea Ivory0921. If I do take it easy, I might be able to get back into the game and not mess something up by jumping in to fast. My friends feel bad for me, because I don't have a girlfriend most of the time, because the girl always does bad to me, or takes advantage of me, cheats on me, or uses my money. I have never cheated on anyone, and I never will. I wish all girls would just be honest with me, as I will to them. I just wish I had the same stuff I had a year or so ago. I had no problem then, just kind of go with it. Thanks everybody!

Yup - that sounds just about right. Just enjoy yourself and enjoy being single. Test the waters and I'm sure you'll realize that you don't have it so bad after all. :p Best of luck to you!

First off I believe you should check out the "Dating" section of AMHD for good tips from allot of people going through the same thing as yourself. This is the "Relationship" section and it takes months of dating to develop one. But since you are here, maybe that's what may be an issue. You go full force trying for a relationship instead of having fun dating the women that come into your life.

You see dating is where you get to find out all the history involved with the person you are with. If you sense a red flag or multiple red flags while dating, you can stop it before it becomes a relationship that will only lead too much deeper heartbreak and putting more baggage in your closet when it's over. Baggage that is unfortunately stopping you from dating.

Act the same ways you do with your buddies while you are on a date, this seems to be the REAL you anyway. Don't offer so much in the beginning, give and take equally.

I say contact her and ask her out. Consider it a date, not a relationship.

Hope this helps.

Ok. That helped things a lot. Thank you very much. I'm feeling a little more comfortable about how to be myself. My next question I am going to ask, if anybody reads this is: I was txting the girl last night and asked if I could call her today. Since I am a year out of high school, and I knew she was close in age, I didn't know if she was still in school or not. I work a full time job, and about mid day today, I text her and asked her if she was in school, and she said no, so I asked if she had graduated, and she said yea, and where from and everything. Then I asked if I could call her and she has never responded back. I really want to get to know her, but I don't know if she wants me to leave her alone or not. I don't want to be pushy. Any advice?

Slow down, wait a few days for her to respond. Wait, Wait, Wait. I know you are excited to talk to her, but remember what I said about equality. Let her make the next move. Don't rush it, or you will scare her away.

Don't listen to these people. I was just like you, and I asked people what to do and they gave me the same bull as the above (sorry not mean to offend anyone). Listen there's only one thing all girls like about guys and that's a 'surprise of the mouth'. Surprise her about yourself all the time, talk passonate. Make rytmes - and of course poems it always works

Thanks for the advice guys. I am going to have to go with whatn3xt on this one. I have learned in the past not to rush anything. I think waiting this one out would be the smartest choice. Thanks guys.

I no what your going through, I was the same way before, but you just got to be yourself and not let things get to u. cause if you do, its just going to cause more problems then there should be. And if the next girl you date is a butt then move on to the next one cause you shouldn't have to change who you are for someone. And if a girl is to ever cheat on you or anything in that sort it just show that she doesn't care for you enough to stay committed and you need to just move on to some better. Cause if you give her your all all she doesn't do that same move on. You deserve better

I think you should stop the texting and give her a call. Texting is okay but a call is better. If I just met a guy, I would prefer for him to give me a call to ask questions instead of texting it.

Yeah Liz28. I agree. I haven't even text her that much though. I would much rather talk to her on the phone, to get to know her better and everything. I hated the texting, but I text her yesterday to see if she was available, because I didn't know if she was still in school or not. I didn't even know her that well, but I would like to get to know her better. I am just hoping something is there. I was going to wait and see if she contacted me today, and then I thought about calling her tomorrow and asking her out for Friday, but I also thought if she doesn't call me today, then she may not be that interested. I have talked to some of my friends that are girls and they try to give me advice, but they give me no direct answer as to what I should do. I still don't know what to do?

You give her a chance to think about meeting up with you, without pressure, as she may be busy with things, as you are. She doesn't want to appear to eager, and you don't want to appear desperate.

That's exactly it to. I don't want to seem desperate. So, should I not talk to her today and give her a call tomorrow night, to make it seem not so bad, and kind of give it a 2 day rule kind of thing? Do you think that might work?

Everyone's right. You MIGHT have given her a somewhat desperate/needy vibe. So just chill, and act as if you don't care too much if she replies to your texts or not. One message for every one of her replies will do. Slow down and learn to "play" her game. Do not call or text her unless she texts you or actually replies. You might come off too strong and girls can easily sense if you're really into them. Just take it easy. ;)

OK. So, I should wait at least until tomorrow to call or text her? I haven't seemed desperate to her at all. If she never text me back, I just let it go, so I wouldn't seem desperate. I'm just curious of what she thinks though. I kind of want to call her, but I don't know still.

Give her a chance to call you.

Ok. I should probably do that. I may be thinking way into it. If she doesn't respond, then I should let it go. It's just that I was out with my friends and my friends told me to give her my number, so I did. I wrote on a piece of paper: If you're single... (my number & name). Then I walked up and kind of brushed her back and I looked her right in the eyes and said, "If you're interested...call me." then I tuned around and walked away. I really didn't expet a call because she was just absolutely beautiful. But I got a call shortly after. But like I said my phone was shut off and was dying, and I didn't turn it on until I got back to my friends house. Now I am just confused as hell, because I think she doesn't want to start anything, and I just don't know how she feels or what!

Thanks!

You give her your number, and she calls, but the phone is off. Nice going Romeo. Call her and explain. This is your fault, as you blew an opportunity. Bet you keep it charged up from now on, won't you?



Because I think she doesn't want to start anything, and I just don't know how she feels or what!


How can she tell you anything when the phone is off? I would say your over thinking, and should simply call her back. Then shoot the phone!!

Yes, my phone doesn't stay charged much longer than a day. I tried calling her back soon after I seen she had called me, but I just got her voicemail. So I text her the next day and we text back and forth, but then I said I would call her later because I was busy, then she text me later, and then I asked her if I could just call her, and she said she had to do somehing and she would call me. Well, it was getting late and I had to get up early for work so I told her I had to go to bed, and I asked if I could call her that next day, and she said yes. But like I said, I wanted to see if she was available to talk so I text her asking if it was a good time to call. Then I haven't heard back from her since. I text her today, and she didn't say anything. I just want to know straight forward if I should leave her alone, but she won't respond, but it isn't like I'm going crazy overboard trying to contact her. I just have like once since she didn't respond yesterday, but I think I will call her tonight. I hate texting I wish they would have never invented it. That is probably what has got me into the mess. So, I'm going to call her later I think, and if she doesn't answer, then I know she doesn't want to be bothered, and I will delete her number and pretend it never happened. Does that sound appropriate?

I think your over analyzed everything too much. You just met, take a breathe and catch yourself. If all of this is over a phone call, image if your was dating. If you call and she don't answer leave a message and if she don't respond, then that's it. Not to be rude but I don't think she might be sitting around waiting on your call. She might just be busy.

When you call her tonight, as it seems you have already made up your mind about that... Explain what happened with your phone, and that you are disappointed that you missed her call. Tell her that you hate texting ( which is fact ) and start all over from there.

Keep the conversation upbeat and casual. Keep her smiling, laughing, and wanting more contact from you. Then say goodnight and ask her: would you like to go out sometime? Let her make the dates/times ( if she says yes, of course ) and you take care of the where, how.

Good luck and keep it fun.

Thank you guys. I don't think you were being rude when you said that she probably isn't waiting on my call. I understand that, it just kind of bothered me, because I told her to call if she was interested and she did, and now she is obviously not. Wouldn't that bother anyone else? I tried calling her last night, and I got nobody. I left a message explaining things and told her to call me back if she wanted or if she didn't then goodbye. I wouldn't be all pissy and bothered if we were together and I couldn't get ahold of her. I'm not like that. It's like I said why it bothers me so much. After I talked to her, I deleted her number from my phone, and I am just going to let this one go. If I do some reason get a call from her, that would be cool, but I doubt it. Thanks!

You live and you learn. Overall I think you tried your hardest, over thought things a little, but you tried. There will be other girls you'll met that'll spark your interest.

Thanks a lot liz28. I hope I do. I think I will take things a little smoother. I have met another girl. Well, I've known her for about a year, but if I have any problems I will open up for discussion and hope to hear from you. Thanks!