I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. I need to know what the steps are that need to be taken in order to have my ex sign away his rights and have my partner adopt her. I'm in Oregon and we are not yet married. Is there any way to do this out of court?

1. Get married.
2. Ask your ex if he will voluntarily sign away his rights. If the answer isyes, things will be much easier. If the answer is no, then you're going to have to fight to prove that he is an unfit father.
3. Get a lawyer (though really, this might need to be number 2)
4. Go to court. No, there is no way to do this outside of a court. Adoption is a LEGAL process, and needs to be done legally, in a courtroom.
5. Sign the adoption papers.

Thank you and does anyone have any idea how long I have to be married in the state of Oregon in order for my fiancé to be able to adopt her?

You will need an attorney to prepare the adoption petition so start interviewing attornies now and you can get the facts.

First no it has to be done though court, you may or may not have to actully appear but the paper work will go though court.

Your attorney will write up the adoption paper work, and send a copy to the child's father, he signs it, and you file the paper work with the courts.

This is assuming the father is willing to sign the rights away.

The laws on being married is changing all the time, many states allow it to be a long term partner.