I have a friend... he's my best friend in the whole world and we tell each other everything. We've known each other since the sixth grade, but never really started to hang out till high school. I ended up falling for him in high school, but always kept it to myself... always held my peace. He dated this one girl during those years... I admit at the time I was jealous... not of her really because she was fat and obnoxious... he wanted to break it off with her because she was terrible and mentally abusive, but every time he threatened, she would threaten back that she would kill herself and he believed her... but anyway, that's not my problem. I'm just stating that he dated before and even asked one of my best friends out in middle school before I even really knew him, but she turned him down. But the bigger picture and what I'm really trying to get at is that 2 summers ago he broke the news to me that he's gay... I mean he's the kind of person who goes through all these fazes, like the goth faze... then emo, then preppy... now this? I mean I support him 100% all the way, but there's a bigger problem... and it's not going to different schools because we see each other all the time anyway.
So anyway, now we're in our second year of college and I go to Baker and he goes to Adrian. Closer into the beginning of summer break my first year of school, I tried to kill myself. I cut my wrists and kept taking 2 or 3 advils every 5 minutes it seemed, to make everything fade... I guess during the process I emailed him saying it was too much and I loved him... that's when he came over my house and pretty much saved my life. He came over in the middle of the night to ask me what the hell my problem was... not in those words and I told him I was fine. He noticed I was out of it from the drugs, but then after he left I cut myself. My mom woke up to find me bleeding everywhere and she took me to the hospital... yeah I'm fine, but there's a bigger problem that's been plaguing me. I tried to end it all because... well for many reasons... 4 of my close relatives died in less than a year, I was in a terrible car crash, my dad needs kidney transplants, I failed a class for the first time in my life... and I'm in love with my best friend. That's what really pushed me over the edge... being in love with someone who tells me he loves me everyday and that I'm the only girl for him, but in reality he will never love me back... it was too much to handle in only 6 months.
Well, to make a long story short... a few weeks after I got out of the hospital, I told him I loved him... thinking he would be awkward and hate me, he was completely the opposite. He told me he was overly happy about it and it was great! I was not only in shock.. I thought that my dream was coming true. He told me that I was the only girl for him... but he's still gay... he's even getting my art tattooed on him arm!. I'm an art student and I draw him pictures almost everyday. He told me I was his favorite artist and he wants it my art on his arm and the tattoo artists can't alter it in any way because it's from me... I never felt so happy and yet so terrible at the same time. We talk about how I feel all the time... we always just say what's on our minds and neither of us gets mad or upset... communication is the key to a long relationship, but it makes me wonder in the end what will that relationship become 10 years from now? I know we will always be friends if nothing else, but is this just another one of his famous fazes? I will always love him no matter what he chooses and I would wait for him to the end. Just being with him makes me happy and I'm not asking for a date... dates are dumb... I just want him to know how I've always felt and will always feel. He's the love of my life and this is where I stand.

Sounds like you need to have a discussion with him about exactly how you fit in his life.
What he wants out of the relationship? Where exactly does he see it going? Is there a chance you two have a chance at anything more than friends?
A lot, I would think, would depend on what he means by his being gay. What makes him believe he is gay? Is he actually 'seeing' guys? Can he see himself accepting a relationship with you over his gayness?
Communication is the only way you are going to know exactly what is in his head.

Also you can't let your life be so co dependent on others and on situations and circumstances that you let it get the better of you. You have to accept that some things you can not change, some you can, and none are worth killing yourself over.
Time has a way of working things out.

You have a lot of bottled up frustration to deal with, and obsessing about your friend, isn't helping anything. Life is what it is as we mourn our losses, and get through the hard times. Unfortunately for you, you love this guy, and have for a long time, it. but never did anything about it. Now you love him more than you love yourself. You really do need to stay out of his life, and work on yours, and your issues . Get some help if necessary, but see that what you feel about him, has some unhealthy consequences for you.

Will talking to him give you closure?? Do so, and rebuild yourself, without him.