Have been seeing this girl for year and a half.everything was going very well I mean really good.We never argued we never had a fight.I treated her like a lady did things for her and helped her out all the time at her house.Oh I might of well tell were not kids any more I'am 49 she's 47.We talked about the future together all kinds of things.that we were suppose to talk about at our age The sex is good.So hear it goes one day it just fell apart.We went camping for three days and had a wonderful time came back home and two day later went to the fair.Picked her up and she came down the stairs and I said WOW you look georgous tonight.We had fun at the fair and held hands thought out the night I spent the night there like I always did on the weekends.Everything was great. The next morning I get out of bed and go down stair and she said good morning honey.I gave her a kiss like we always did when we first see each other, She made breakfast and the coffee was on.It was a great start for the day.So I spend a couple of hours there and then said I had to go and get some things done around my place So we both left the house at the same time and again we kissed good-bye.She called me up just before supper and said that she was going over later.Like she did always,She walked in the door and looked at me and walked towards me and said"your not going to like what I have to tell you"I said "please don't"She said she needs more?OF WHAT I don't know.She says she has no feeling anymore.BUT SHE Must have had SOME THE NIGHT BEFORE.And she left the house. With very little explenasion.I have been heart broken and feel used ever since that day.She won't return my texts ,e-mails and I sent her flowers.It's been two weeks. NOW WHAT DO I DO I still love this girl

BROKEN HEARTED

Well, please read my survival guide below to get started.

You are indeed not kids, so I cannot ascribe immaturity or youthful hormones and indescretion. A few questions:

1. do either of you have kids?
2. was this a very sexual relationship?
3. were either of you married previously?
3b.what were the conditions and when?
4. when you argue (or politely disagree), what is it about?
5. is there another guy she dated prior to you that was unresolved or dyfunctional?

I'll sort this out for you, but it may take a few conversations. Try to stay calm -- and go on e a short trip if you can for labor day... I can say, from the little you've said so far, you should NOT bother her right now. I am not certain this is the girl for you... But I'll reserve judgement for now.

1.yes we both have she has 3 boys 23 20 14 I have one 20
2.yes it was at times
3. yes she was married five years ago and I was married 8 years ago
3b. He was a drink and a druggie and fought with everybody in his way and mine we just grow apart
4.I don't know if their ever was a time
5.no nothing serious

Ok, I don't want to oversimplify here but your girl produced 3 adult boys with an apparent derelict.
So, clearly her paradigm and yours are a bit different. My guess is what may be shocking to you may not be to her. Your breakup for example.

She has held something close to her vest and frankly did not feel obiged to share it. It could be her need to be alone, her need for a change, or something between you she wasn't sure about.

Do not contact her anymore. (Have you said all you need to say?) It will drive her further away. I am sure she knows you are upset and is gathering her thoughts. I would go silent and assume you may hear from her in a few months. If not, you know she does not have the character you deserve.

You said you never had a disagreement or even a constructive conversation about any differences - Soooo, your communication was actually not as good as you thought. NO mention of a problem, despite their being one. If there is no clue, that means to me that she is NOT a communicator. (See also her marriage) But once a woman is divorced, she lives by a new set of rules: it's all about me and not repeating any marriage mistakes.

Hang in there buddy. There may be some information coming your way in the coming weeks. I'd say it will not be adequate to put things back - unless she steps the heck up and does not pretend her behavior is acceptable... but she likely cannot...

What was her childhhood like? Another clue may life there.

I dated a model who was sought after by men and women, and yet, she could not stay happy for more than a week at a time. It made me crazy. She lost her dad young, and her step dad was a control freak... voila.

Standing by. Hang in there! One day at a time right now as you work your way back to normalcy...

Ash 123
You're a very smart person.I would like to hear more of what you have to say about this matter.I hope some of the answers are true. We will talk soon

Well, I know how painful these things can be. And the mystery is what makes the pain last... That's what I try to remove if at all possible. As an adult, I think you can process all this more clearly than some. Good luck. What looks like love, sounds like love, and what sounds like love is well, not always... ugh. Good news is you have a child and some daylight ahead.

For whatever reasons her feelings changed, and she made a move. Maybe its for the best as she was very closed to you anyway, and where you were comfortable, she was not. Shame really but for the best, as non communications have busted up many couples. Accept it, and moving on is your best solution. Leaving her alone might be hard, but you can regroup, and meet the challenge of filling the hole in your soul, with friends and activities that you enjoy.

Never argued huh?? Something she wasn't sharing with you. Enjoy the memories, and regroup.

I need some more answers to this problem

Huh?

I thought I did. What further questions do you have?

Will she come back? No one can say for sure, but in my own opinion is NO.

It sounds weird the turn around so quickly, but respect her need to be left alone...

Yes, your heart is broken at the moment but just know that you will have something better in the future, remain patient and learn from this experience.

She's going on a trip on Wednesday afternoon .Should I call her to wish her a good holiday and safe flight of just wait until she gets back the call her to see how her holiday was .( friends say wait until see gets back)

I'D WAIT.

Has there been further communication I do not know about? (if so, elaborate here)

If not, read on:

She walked out. So, you, unfortunately, cannot really say "hey, i know you walked, but have a rocking holiday!" she will read it as what it is... manipulation. What you really want to know is WHAT THE FU--?! Right? Wishing a happy holiday is not that... so, wait. As much as it sucks. And have an adult conversation when you can and get some closure. But from what I can see: she is not much of a communicator, so you may be doing a lot of the talking.

Yes, Waiting is the best advice.

She has dissappeared from your life, and you want to wish her happy trip? No way. Leave her alone and if she wants to comeback, she had better feel like talking. Until then you have no dilemma, its just adios and move on.

Make it simple, she dissappeared without explanation, she doesn't exist, despite the urge to call, and get closure, answers, or explanations. You do none of that. Who cares when she leaves, what she does, who she does it with, when she comes back, or even if she had a good time!!!!

So I should wait until when

Maybe wait was not the best word... I think What is trying to be said here is do not wait at all. She has decided it is done, you need to accept that and just leave it alone.

I know it's tough. You are in the break-up stage... all is irrational and insane.

Your brain wants a fix.

But unless she were to contact you with some sort of new explanation, (which you have NOT indicated) you should not contact her. SHE LEFT. NOT YOU.

As I have said a few times - and I think you agree - she is NOT much of a communicator. Her formative years were with a reprobate. She does not play by the same rules.

Let her be.

I know your pain and the hole this must be creating in your life. I know you need some explanation.. But if you texted, sent flowers, called, emailed, etc. and she did not respond then the ball is clearly in her court. BUMMER huh? Sorry.

If there is another form of communication she would respond to let's discuss. But it seems like she's been clear: she wants to be alone and doesn't really want to talk about it.

If you have to know WHY or WHAT you did personally, maybe in many months the situation will present itself.

Can you handle this? Might you need a chat with a counselor for a spell to put it into perspective?

I would examine the idea you had no disagreements.

She disagreed with living with you, sleeping with you, talking to you... What did you not have in common? She may have kept it all bottled up, but clear your head one day at a time.

A

No body said that she disagreed with sleeping with me. Maybe it was the opposite.And living together was mentioned when we were both ready and we both said that we were not ready at the time.And about talking, We talked about a lot of things and were pretty open with each other.After a few weeks to think about this.I think the problem lies with starting at the lake.Having sex once in three days there.( when no kids were around) Second thing the sleeping arrangement at her house ( twice a week probably wasn't enough) I would have stayed more if she would have only asked we would have worked something out.And third,Going out more with other couples.instead of always being together a lot.She don't have a lot of friends and I don't ether But it would have worked it self out If she would talked about it. And I will find out in time.Things will work out just fine in a week or so. Other people have told me to wait until she comes back from her holiday.She will miss you a lot then. You'll see(I have that feeling everything will work out in or favor. Because I know that we both still miss each other.Those three things are pretty dumb things to break up over. I think that she may realize that in time. It will all work out trust me.

"It will all work out trust me."

OK.

And the hopefully the next time she just gets up and walks out you will be in the loop.

Let me know how it goes. Glad you are getting clarity.