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View Full Version : I think we should go on a "break"!


hahahaha84
Aug 17, 2008, 06:42 AM
OK I'm 24 she is 21, we have been together for almost 4 years. She goes to uni and works part time and I study.

As of today we are on a break because she doesn't know if she loves me anymore and she needs time and space to figure herself out.
I love her to death and have been 110% supporting her through highschool/uni now it is time to go on a break!?

I have seen this coming she has been weird for about a week or two.

As much as I don't want to go on a break I don't have a choice, its either go on a 1 month break - or break up!

I love her heaps and its hard to just not call/text someone you care about so much.
I like talking to her everyday to see how her day has been and tell her about mine etc,etc. and being a guy I don't really do that with my friends.

We have gone through A lot in out relationship, no one has cheated or anything like that but we have definitely had our ups and downs. Another thing she said was that "there is too much water under the bridge" my response to that was in relationships there is always water under the bridge.

So anyway in the meantime I'm just trying to focus my attention on something else so I don't go insane.

Anyone got any advice for me apart from "get over her dump the b!tch"

Thanks

Homegirl 50
Aug 17, 2008, 07:24 AM
First off "get over her dump the b!tch" is crude and unnecessary. That is the attitude of a teenager.
If you have been dating for 4 years and she is only 21, she probably needs a break to grow up. She was still a teen when she started dating you. It is time for serious growth, those teenaged ways of thinking and feelings have passed.
This is not a matter of either one of you being in the wrong, just it's time for space and growth and you two may very well grow away from each other.
Give her space. You may find the it will do you good as well.
I wish you both well.

N0help4u
Aug 17, 2008, 08:22 AM
Go on the break and if she needs another month or another year let her.
It is better to give her her space so she knows what she wants rather than feeling clouded by feeling restricted by a relationship. Then she knows that she really wants to be with you when she decides. For her to feel obligated to you only confuses her needs so wait it out. But if she keeps putting you off then you have every right to get on with your life and if that means that eventually you are on two different paths that is the risk she took in wanting a break.

hahahaha84
Aug 18, 2008, 07:32 AM
is there anything I can do? Anything at all? Sitting around is really hard I want to try and make her miss me :confused: :confused: :(

like putting a rose in her letter box or calling to see how she is doing? Anything I don't know :(

I miss her so much I really hope she is missing me

thank you for your replies people. This is the only place I can talk about what is going on in my life at the moment. I guess I am like most males I don't like to share my problems... apart from with anonymous online randoms like you guys

Homegirl 50
Aug 18, 2008, 07:58 AM
You can't make a person miss you. If you do things like that you are not giving her space.
I realize this is hard, but it is necessary. Take the break and discover new things about yourself.

Ithappenstoall
Aug 18, 2008, 10:12 AM
I agree with everyone here, give it some time. Take a week or two at least to breath a little and take this time to value the relationship as well. Maybe you got used to be around her (more of comfort) than actually loving her. Anyway this time away will do both of you good I believe. After a while ask to have a talk about things again, see what made you go in this direction and explain what needs to improve in order for your relation to succeed. Sometimes being too much over each others back can drive you guys away (happened to me).
Good luck with it all.

hahahaha84
Aug 20, 2008, 03:42 AM
well I spoke to her today and she was calling me hun on the phone so I guess that's a good thing,. SHE CALLED ME TODAY!. and b!tched about her life, work friends and uni etc,etc I was thinking to myself "ummm ok i thought we were on a break?".

so I guess she is missing me.

on another note this is very random but I am buying my mum a car, its in another state, I don't have a license and my mum is getting hers back in a few weeks (hence me buying her a new car)... ANYWAY, while I was on the phone to her (gf), I asked her if she wanted to fly up with my mum to get the car and drive it back because she is the only one that is free at this time that has a license

she said yes and "stuff work im so sick of everything in my life i really need a break i dont care about the driving il just be happy to get out of here" so as it happens her and my mum are going to fly up in 2 days collect the car and drive it back.

I know it was probably a bad move but she jumped at the chance and my mum and her get along great, now I'm not expecting that when she gets back that everything is going to be fine but I don't really see how this could make the situation worse, I think she needs a break however short it is and it might just do her some good.

I realise that when she gets back we will still be on a break. And I am fine with that.

opinions?

thank you for replies people

Homegirl 50
Aug 20, 2008, 05:42 AM
Being in a break normally means no contact, but if you two can be on friendly terms without your feeling miserable and getting your hopes up, this may be OK for you. But when and if you get tired of it and need answers, don't hesitate to tell her "break or no break, make a decision" Don't allow her to use you as a buffer when she has told you she needs a break.

lostnfound
Aug 20, 2008, 01:37 PM
It seems as though your girlfriend may be going through a soul-searching phase. I went through something similar when I was her age, and I had also asked my boyfriend to go on a break. Maybe she needs time to sort out exactly what it is she wants out of life, who she wants to, if she wants to be in relationship, what career objectives she has, etc etc etc. She may be going through a rough time, and all you can do is support her.

On the other hand, she may just need space. PERIOD. She may be testing her own feelings for you by not having you around. If she comes back to, it's meant to be. If not, you must let her go. As much as I want to say STICK AROUND SHE WILL COME BACK, I don't want to make promises that may not come through. Just be prepared for the worse, but hope for the best!

Best of luck!!

flash84x
Aug 20, 2008, 11:59 PM
This is more of a general comment for yourself, not really regarding your girlfriend, but I think it is very important

You say you don't hang out with your friends much... take this opportunity to touch base, it will help keep your mind off the bad things right now, that is what friends are for... but also if/when you two come off this break you should still keep your friends close, they are the ones that will be there for you when a relationship fails, don't take them for granted... I did this in my last relationship, I really put a gap between one of my best friends because I was always spending time with my girlfriend, when we broke up he was right there for me to help in anyway I needed, good friends are too valuable to put on the side, keep them close

Ithappenstoall
Aug 21, 2008, 12:53 AM
Exactly, relationships come and go until you find the one for you but friends remain forever, do not forget them as they will always be there for you, good or bad times!!