I was in a very meaningful relationship with my girl friend for 9 months and when things started they were amazing and we were such compatible people. Then my life got shaken up about two months in to things. I was snowboarding and I fractured my neck. When this happened I lost all the thins I loved to do and went into depression. The one thing I had I loved in my life was her and I put her as the focal point of my life. I had a neck brace on for three months and during this time things got so stressed out in every aspect of my life and I had nothing to do but be with her. Then I started getting angry when she was busy doing other things in her life because I couldn't do anything else I wanted in my life physically. Finally once the brace came off I thought things would go back to normal but they never did. The person I had turned into wasn't happy with anything and was not anything like the person she had met and liked. Even though I was not in a brace any more I still couldn't find the things I used to love in my life still and kept asking her to give up things and like any sane person she wasn't going to and this made us fight constantly. Things continued like this until we took a break but the break we took was only a week long which wasn't even close to as long as it needed to be but we were both so excited to try things again. After we got back together tempers boiled over and I lost my cool. I said the meanest things to her cause I was trying to convince myself I didn't want her any more and blamed her for everything in my life. Things ended and we mutually broke up. I am really happy that what was happening near the end of relationship was finally over because it was bringing us both down so far and we both had changed who we once used to be. The thing is I only realize this in hindsight and now I see that I had caused so many of the problems when I broke my neck. I know I couldn't control what happened and it was tramaitc enough to stress things too much for our relationship. Now I realize I still can be the person I want to be and I finally see the things I love in my life with out clouding my thoughts with a relationship. I feel like I can finally be the person I once used to be with some time. I also know that if things went back to how they were it could be a great relationship and we could start over and not have to deal with the load of such a tramatic event. Im just disappointed things worked out how they did because of an event neither of us could control. I want to find myself and start things with her again but I don't know if she will wait around and I'm afraid she will find someone else and inside I know I don't want to be with any one else right now. I would do anything to get what I had back but I don't know how to convince her I'm really going to change and at least take a chance at things again. I already told her I made a mistake and I want to change but I've told her I would change several times before but inside I didn't want to. However know I really want to change and I know I will. I would be willing to do anything to get back what was so wonderful and if I change to who I used to be I don't see why not. By the way we broke up 2 days ago for time references. I don't know if I should move on and just forget about getting back together or if I should keep that hope going because I feel its what I want inside but I just can't have at this point in and really want to try again because I feel it has all the things needed to be a great relationship. I also must admit the break up was exspecially on my part and I said a lot of things I didn't mean and I regret it with all my heart. I would love to hear what other people think they would do things in my cituations and what kind of limitations we should put on our relationship for the time being.

I say give it a couple of week of non communication and then if you still feel like you want to be with her give it one last shot at reaching out to her and letting her know how you feel, if you a) first apologize for what you said/did and then communicate with her and let her know how you feel and that you are willing to change and take things slow etc. She may not want you back. Words can hurt bad, and maybe you two have just grown a part. Some times it takes instances like these in life to learn if you really love the person or if it's not meant to be. Overall I definitely think you should give her some space, she deserves it after the mean things you said, plus sounds like you need the time steal to heal, both physcially and mentally.
But in the end, speak your mind to her. Even if she doesn't want you back, you can probably rest easier at night knowing you laid your cards on the table.

Thanks I haven't been comunicating with her but my sister talked to her and she said she could see us together again and she told me she just wants space. I am definitely going to respect that but first I have to figure my own things out. Later today she contacted me and I told her that the things I said were lies that I never meant them and that I want to tell her the truth in the near future because she deserves to know.

I moved the thread to relationships so here is the link, https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/what-when-you-realize-you-ruined-something-amazing-245464.html?highlight=what+to+do+when+you+realize

Sorry, I just felt I would get better advice

I also think after 9 months, you can't expect too much. It definitely is significant, but I also wouldn't consider it "long" term. Maybe make sure if you guys do get back together that you are on the same page. Just give her space, if it's meant to be it will work out.