My ex wrote me a email saying I don't care how sorry you are about what you said, I don't care no one adds up to me... what does she mean no one adds up to me??

She's saying that you won't be able to find someone as good as her. She's guilt tripping you and trying to tell you that you've lost a great girl.

She might be right, or wrong. I don't know her.

But--You never know what you have until it's gone.

Or is she saying I will never find a girl like her.. like saying I'm not that good anough or something.. I don't know it sounds pretty hurtful and my confidence lvl is at a all time low... :(

Actually, that's... exactly what chihuahuamomma said too.

Not that you're "good enough" but that you'll never find a girl that was as good as she was.

I'm not too sure of your situation, but no worries. Keep your head up. It'll get better.

That's what I thought.. I thought I would get better almost 3 months in and I feel terrible looking back at the good times drives me crazy it's a feeling I can't explain some of you would never understand..

... trust me. I think I do understand.

Have you been trying to move on with your life? Keeping busy... staying away from fbook, myspace, etc... hanging out with your friends, etc?

Are you maintaining NC?

Well I was going good with the no NC.. for about 3 weeks then I broke it last night and called her and that's when left me this email... I know I know I know I know I broke the NC rule and I pissed her off...

Yeah... breaking NC... it happens, I've done it. But really, NC is the only way to go. Start back at square one. Keep yourself busy. Keep your head up.

I'm not really meaning to put a crinkle in the fine dialogues that have been happening here, but my interpretation if someone said "no one adds up" to me, I would most likely take it to mean that they don't understand and aren't willing to admit that they don't understand something.

Sometimes we can read too much into the words that someone uses. Best to be communicating with the other person so that we don't drive ourselves crazy by wondering what might be meant by the words that a person uses.

I used to spend a lot of time when I was younger, analyzing what others meant and also getting up in the middle of the night to write down my thoughts concerning those sorts of things.

Just my thoughts...

I'm not really meaning to put a crinkle in the fine dialogues that have been happening here, but my interpretation if someone said "no one adds up" to me, I would most likely take it to mean that they don't understand and aren't willing to admit that they don't understand something.

Sometimes we can read too much into the words that someone uses. Best to be communicating with the other person so that we don't drive ourselves crazy by wondering what might be meant by the words that a person uses.

I used to spend a lot of time when I was younger, analyzing what others meant and also getting up in the middle of the night to write down my thoughts concerning those sorts of things.

Just my thoughts...


Lol I do the same thing just wake up in the middle of the night meaning what this and that meant.. and on a side note what do mean they don't understand.. they chose not to understand or they just confused?

Do you mean "something not adding up"? I thought about that too, but since she said "noone will add up", then I took it to mean that she thinks that he can't do better than her.

I think that a person can use words to mask that they really don't understand something and also don't know the correct words to use to respond when they might be confused. But, none-the-less, they blurt out an answer, be in in person or in some sort of text of some kind in order to just be coming up with an answer because they feel they have to answer in some way because a) they feel as though the other person is pressuring them for an answer. Or, b) they are pressuring themselves to answer because of some need that they have to be heard and understood immediately.

I don't tend to read too much into those kind of statements anymore.

Sometimes, people just need to withdraw for awhile in order to figure out where they really are in the way that they feel.

Some of what maintaining relationships is about is the people who are involved in the relationship taking their time and patiently waiting, without reading into what the other person is meaning by what they said or wrote.

I like to tell people up front, that what I say is what I mean. I also like for people to treat me likewise in the same manner. I only play mind games with people when I am joking with them, and if they don't get it, I will tell them that I am only joking.

Sounds to me that she's just trying to gulit trip you! Could be a plan to try and make you get back with her,if that's what you want then do it! If not tell her straight that you don't want her playing mind games with you.this is what it could all come down to

Sounds to me that shes just trying to gulit trip you! could be a plan to try and make you get back with her,if thats what you want then do it! if not tell her straight that you dont want her playing mind games with you.this is what it could all come down to

I don't know if she is or not.. she sounds pretty mad to me.. this is what the email excatly said

Please leave me alone... Get the clues... I don't email you, I don't call you, I don't text you. Please leave me alone... Every time I think you have finally gotten the clue... you call me or text me... Please, just leave me alone...
I don't care how sorry you are about what you said, I don't care no one adds up to me...
Ive moved on...
You should too...
So please, don't reply, don't call, don't text, don't email, IM, or send me mail...

Just leave me alone...

Thanks for providing the entire text, iceeman! It's sounds pretty clear to me as to what she means. I think that you should move on. Please remember that there are "plenty of fish in the sea" if having a relationship is something after which you seek.

No doubt, out of all the women in the world, there will be someone who is just right for YOU!

Get busy doing your own thing, and you won't be letting your mind play those confusing games on you.

I don't know sometimes when girls say leave me alone they don't really mean it they want you to chase them! This could be the case here,but then on the other hand she might really mean it!I would just leave the dust settle and see what happens after that.or just move on with your life and get her out of your head

After she wrote that email now she is saying she is distressed and is in so much pain.. what gives... confused maybe?

What gives is for you to get out of her life, and you won't be confused at all.

Again. Got to agree with tal.

She may be confused... she may not be. She may be reaching out for you to say something... she may not be.

All she ends up doing is confusing the heck out of you.

Leave it alone, go do something for yourself, eventually, things will all come into focus... whether you like it or not.

She said to leave her alone. And she was quite adament about it. So leave her alone. Move on with your life.

You do continue to "rake yourself over the coals" and to "beat yourself up" iceeman with over-analyzing things and perhaps continuing to want someone where it really might not be the "right fit" in a number of ways concerning your personalities.

Time to move on...

I've done it many times.

It's a matter of choice!