Ok here goes – I had been best friends with a guy from my class at university for about 3 years – we did all the same subjects and spend a lot of time together – I started to have feelings for him and we started going out. The jump from friendship to lovers was slightly strange and took a bit of adjusting but it was amazing. After 6 months we moved in together – perhaps we rushed things but we were so excited we were finally together. We got a dog shortly after too... the cracks began to show and we did fight – but it was more because we were so stressed both doing our finals and had a huge pressure to achieve good grades. I loved him so much but one morning two days after coming back from an amazing holiday to finish the end of our exams and the night after we had spent a lovely evening with my family he dumped me. He did not give a specific reason – but he just didn’t want to be with me. My whole world had crashed apart – I had just finished university and thought we would be planning our lives together. At the same time my parents told me they were getting divorced – this upset me greatly too. As we still had a month on the lease of our apartment we continued to live together – but it was awful – I just could not understand what had happened. I moved home to my parents and tried to plan my future but had no idea what I was going. To make matters worse my ex started meeting up with his ex – that hurt. On my graduation day – it was awful – it was so hard seeing him and not being with him. I felt so rejected – but then occasionally he would want to meet up with me and this messed my head up even more. He moved to South Africa to be with his family who lived there– I felt so angry I had been left behind – that he could start over and I was left here – with all the memories we had together. I tried doing fun stuff like going on holiday with my friends but I was just so depressed. I started a post graduate course as I couldn’t face getting a job and still had no clue what I wanted in life. He would still email sometimes but they were getting more and more unfriendly – he would say he saw photos on my friends MySpace of my holiday and say I looked like a slut or stuff like that. I then met someone in my home town and rushed into a relationship with them – it was great feeling wanted again but I think I rushed things totally without finding what I was getting involved with. Everyone warned me about him but I took no noticed and loved the attention. I finally found my own place with a friend so could move out my parents which was good – but I still missed my ex so much and couldn’t understand why he had decided he did not want me after saying I was his everything and he’d never felt like this before and he had loved me the whole time we were friends. I started partying more and more and through my new boyfriend really got in with the wrong crowd. After a year of destruction my boyfriend moved into my place – it looked like I had got things a little more sorted and he promised he would not do drugs or anything now that we had our own home. I thought I was finally getting things sorted I still thought about my ex but not as much but then my best friend told me she had found out my boyfriend had cheated on me at least 6 times – I couldn’t believe it –most of the girls I had meet several times - I felt like I had lost everything all over again... I panicked – I was scared and I decided to forgive him – I couldn’t bear the thought of being alone. I muddled through the next few months but started crying constantly about my ex about my boyfriend. I got offered a job in New York and I thought that this was a change for a new start – me and my boyfriend moved and now it is a year later and things are good. I am over the cheating. My boyfriend is a new person, he’s got a good job and he has kept all his promises he made – we are happy and I love him totally – but why do I think about my ex. I hate that someone who was everything is now nothing – I have not heard anything from him in two years. I want to move totally on but don’t know how. I am worried my past is ruining my present – please help!

Lucy :(

I think because you were friends before you started the relationship its made things harder,try writing all your feelings down or make a list of good and bad points of your ex! Then focus on the bad points see if that helps,it might make you think then that he's not even worth thinking or worrying about! Start focusing on the future with your new boyfriend you might find that will be a big help
Hope this is of some help! I read something similar to this answer in a mag lol

First, Joanne gave you some good advice. If you still can't figure it out, just try to forget about it.

The question I have is... Does your current BF know about this? Do you think is is fair to him that you are not 100% into him? Wouldn't it make more sense to focus on those that care about you more than those that could care less?

I wish you the best.