View Full Version : How to get over my break up.
jobesl
Jul 24, 2008, 10:58 PM
Hello, everyone, my name is Linda.
I am having a problem. My boyfriend broke up with me for no reason, we were great together no fighting until the end where he said goodbye and he did not want to be with me that "its not me, its him" line was used he said no real reason just something he felt he had to do.:( I know it is no one new, so what could it be?
Also the main prob I need advice, its effecting everything, my new job(new store I opened) sleep eating, diarehha, friendships I went to walmart came out crying like a big baby, I feel fat ugly and stupid please help me...
Clough
Jul 24, 2008, 11:05 PM
Hi, Linda!
Greetings and WELCOME to the site! I just moved your question that you had posted in Introductions to this topic area so that it would get the most exposure to those who are best able to answer it. Introductions is for people to introduce themselves and we try to not ask questions there.
I'm sure that folks will be along to help you in finding the answers that you seek!
We would appreciate it if you would return to Introductions sometime to tell us a little about yourself though, if you would be willing to do that.
Thanks!
JBeaucaire
Jul 25, 2008, 01:11 AM
It's supposed to hurt when you get dumped. It's one of those universal truths. And you should admit that he could have given you ANY reason for breaking up with you and it would hurt just as much.
Think about it. Fill in the blanks with some sample "reasons" and honestly admit you would be just as angry and hurt if not MORE if he had given you more to mull over in your mind than he did.
Anyway, he may have done you a favor by keeping it short and sweet. Imagine staying longer term with a man who appears to have the ability to just "walk away." Imagine this happening after 3 years of marriage and 2 babies. Oh my!
Love is instinctive. You don't love him on purpose, that happened on its own and you had little control over it. That means you will have to let the healing process also take care of itself.
The good thing? Love is instinctive. It comes on when it wants. It doesn't ask your permission. That means as soon as you finally get past the main hump of this painful experience, your universal ability to fall in love will wind back into action all on its own.
During this time, when you can't stop thinking about him, take stock of the relationship and figure out the good things you learned about being with him. Each relationship teaches you things, good and bad, about yourself and occasionally about men in general. But don't be too hard on the next guy since they are really all different, OK?
You're going to be fine. It hurts, it's supposed to. You're getting stronger through it, and that means you're also getting better. Let it happen.
sully123
Jul 25, 2008, 03:16 AM
Stop beating yourself up because your boyfriend broke up with you. Focus on you, not him right now, getting back on track. You came to the right site. Stop putting yourself down. It doesn't matter who did what, it happened, and this is what you have to deal with now. Your emotions go crazy after a breakup, no sleeping, can't eat, all the above. But the sooner you move on the better you will feel, as hard as it sounds. We are all here for you. You can vent anytime. But be strong, and do things for yourself right now, that's what is important.
Kevin_s
Jul 25, 2008, 03:22 AM
Ahh the old "it's not you, it's me" BS line.
If he's that immature and selfish that he can't give you a justifiable reason as to why he does not want to be in a relationship with you anymore than you shouldn't bother with him.
You NEVER know if there could be another person, that's where faith and trust come in to play.
If you're really bent on being with him, I suggest not having any contact for a while, maybe he'll try to get back together with you, but at the end of the day you will be the one on top, feeling great. Also you will be able to see his true colors.
Romefalls19
Jul 25, 2008, 06:05 AM
Go No Contact and drop off his radar, this allows you to heal and become whole again. Read the stickies at the top of the forum as well
talaniman
Jul 26, 2008, 09:14 AM
You don't know this yet, but it's a blessing in disguise that he left, as you now are free to be happy with yourself, and share it with someone who cares. He didn't.