Had another date and she's lovely. But I also like another girl I've met. Confusion. I think girl number 1 is probably more suitable though. Girl number 2 is a complete freak but AMAZING fun. Never met anyone so simplistic and I love it!

I'm glad I'm going on holiday soon - Time to think about what to do!

Forget the hoe....

She CHEATED on you while you 2 were dating.

Is that not obvious that she doesn't care about how you feel?

Date them both. Problem fixed.

I'm not two timing. I'm not lowering myself to my ex's level. I have morals.

My friend thinks my ex story is disgusting - he's not religious but has respect for people and thinks for her to move in with someone else so soon is just wrong.

Don't look at it as two timing, go out to see who you feel you are more compatible with and take it from there, as you start going out with them more, you will know which one you get along best with and perhaps start something there, remember for now have fun!!

I'm not two timing. I'm not lowering myself to my ex's level. I have morals.

My friend thinks my ex story is disgusting - he's not religious but has respect for people and thinks for her to move in with someone else so soon is just wrong.
Your young, single, and free, so its not two timing to date whom you want to. Its much to early for any kind of commitment to a stranger, you don't know, so why are you??? That's what dating is about, hanging out, and see if this thing clicks, and when it doesn't you move on. Why limit your options and choices?? Do you want a relationship so bad, you would limit yourself and put the pressure of making things work longterm, when you know absolutely about someone? Just be honest with yourself, and your dates.

My holiday has done wonders for me. I told one of my dates the truth and she still wants to be friends which is nice, so we still chat and text. The other girl I am seeing and it is going quite well. She's really easygoing and I am enjoying getting to know her.

Also my ex and I are in contact, but I don't really care for what she has to say anymore. It's like someone has taken away her power. Whether things would be different in person I have no idea, but I feel much stronger, much more like me.

I feel so much more relaxed and contented with things. I'm not as desperate as I was, not as panicky and stressed.

I realise that I'm quite an easygoing guy and I could potentially date anyone. I just need to figure out what I want long term. I'm just taking it so slowly and trying to have fun and I feel positive about things. I'm trying to work on other aspects of my life as well.

Plus, recently I've noticed that girls seem to be taking more interest in me. I must've got better looking or something, but it's weird how many girls seem to be smiling at me recently. Maybe it's a confidence thing?

Told you you would be better soon. Good for you buddy

Thanks, although I still miss my ex and don't get her in saying she wants to be friends but after I told her it might take time for me to regain the trust she kind of backed down. My dad told me to ignore her games.

I'm just a little bit lost because I don't exactly know what I want now.

I'm just a little bit lost because I don't exactly know what I want now.
Join the party, and have fun figuring it out. If it weren't for my grandkids telling me what to do, I'd be lost!

Glad your feeling better, I knew you would! Guess what, it gets better yet, can you stand it??

You guys are great. You helped me at my lowest.

I do want to have fun. I kind of feel like I want to date many people now, but it makes me feel guilty that I might not give someone a fair chance.

I keep seeing women who smile at me or look interested and it's something I've never experienced beforenow.

At the airport on the way home from my holiday I saw the cutest girl ever and she kept grinning away at me. I wish I talked to her, but I don't want to be looking around while I'm with someone.

I still miss my ex

I feel for you man. I have been back home for 10 days and I have been having sleepless nights from all the dreams. Everything reminds me of what we had. I keep telling myself I need to forget about all that. Its hard though.

Man, I pretty much in the same boat as you guys :P Dated a girl for 9 months, broke up with me about 1.5 months ago. Said she was "Confused" and "Wanted to be alone" So I was like that's cool.. we'll take a little break for a while... about 2 days later I find out that she's been spending time with this other guy and chatting it up with him while we were still together ( At the time I didn't really care who she was talking to because I trusted her... learned my lesson)
After I did the whole trying to do anything to get her back phase and then Bi$&@ her out.. I found this site and pretty much used everyone's advice because I could relate to your situations. Point is --- It Works! Even though I still think about her, its much easier now then it ever was back then... So just give it time and live on one with whatever is thrown your way.. it will get better... it always does :)

I'm much better than I was - even seeing someone else who I really like, but I can't help feeling it's not the same as much as I like her.

I need to give myself time to fall in love with my new girlfriend though. I was with my last one so that's maybe what is confusing me.

Love is just made up. You just find someone that doesn't annoy you and stick with them

Just heard something that freaked me out a little. My ex is buying a cottage in the country with her new guy.

This is freaky because she seems to have followed out my exact plans for us at the exact timings but with him instead of me.

She was looking for somewhere to stay and I was going to ask her to move in until my lease ran out. It runs out next month and I'm looking to buy a flat. I had planned on getting a small house/cottage with her, but that is now what she is doing with him according to my mate. I told her all these plans and she's doing them with him instead of me.

It's weird. But it doesn't hurt that much. My mate seems to think it's all a reaction because she's heard that I'm doing well and it trying to advertise the fact that she is as well.

It's like mind games you see on TV.

I've decided just to block it out. She can do what she wants. I don't want her to get hurt, but in some ways it would serve her right. I'm nothing to her now even though she claims she wants to be friends. It's all hollow.

I'm better off just ignoring her completely. I have my new girl and I'll see what happens with her. I'm not as sure about her but we'll see.

Good decision.

I wish I could meet someone who would just blow her away. My new girlfriend isn't quite that person, but she might become that person in time I hope. If not I'll move on to someone else.

It just annoys me how she has replaced me and is carrying out 'my plans' with him.

I'm still not over her. It still hurts and it still gets to me that my sister in law still sees her regularly.

I just feel cheated and I feel like I'm cheating on my new girlfriend because I know I'm not as crazy about her as I was with my ex.

I just feel like I've just messed up what should have been.

So exactly what have you been doing the last few months?

Been busy at work, buying an apartment and seeing my new girlfriend. Enjoying myself mostly and trying to forget about my ex which I've done mostly but it still hurts.

She's probably much happier though. She's living with him in their new love nest

How do you know that? Never mind its not important. What is important is your still affected by what she does. Any news about her stirs old feelings up again, but they will pass. Stay busy and give yourself more time and be fair to the new girl. She deserves a fun partner who is not distracted by the baggage of the past. Just food for thought.

I know, I'm trying. She is fun and definitely what I need just now. Just not sure if she's long term potential...

Well dude, I wouldn't count her out this early in the game. However, I wouldn't get extremely serious with anyone until I was completely over the ex.

Think of it this way: You kind of learned a lesson to always constantly evaluate the relationship, and not just run on emotions. Humans who can control their emotions are more self-aware, and are better at "staying on top of things".

There were probably some red-flag behaviors, like her texting the guy and smiling, or the fact that she expected you to be awake and let her in at 2am everyday, even though you had a job/career, and maybe more that you missed.

Now you're experienced in picking up these signs so that you can prepare yourself to pack up and go. You know, guys can dump girls too...

One of the lessons you should have learned, is not to play with the heart of another, as you know first hand how much that hurts.

So I'm getting on fine with my new girlfriend and everything is peachy. Then on Wednesday I got an email from my ex.

It didn't say anything, it just had a link to a news story she knew I'd be interested in, but it wasn't something that would be hard to find.

What I don't get is why she suddenly emails me like that out of the blue seeing as we haven't said a word to each other since September. And even if she did think "oh he'll like that", why does she think I want to hear it from her? Why is she even thinking about me after so long.

Don't get me wrong, I'll never go back because I'm happy with my girlfriend I have now, but I just think it's a bit stupid for my ex to be emailing me now.

Just ignore it, and don't overthink it. She's just screwing with your head. Don't let her do it! Delete the message, and go give your new girlfriend a hug and take her out to dinner or watch a movie. She's only trying to get under your skin.

I just replied with a "yeah that's good. hope you are well" sort of reply. Not impolite, but just dismissive so nothing could come of it.

I just don't get her thinking. After nearly 6 months of not talking to each other why is she suddenly sending me a link to an article that might interest me? Bizarre.

I'm certainly not rising to it, but it still bugs me. She's an idiot.

Damn her, she's got into my head again. I miss her.

All it takes is a little bit of contact... and then, boom... you're almost back to square one.

Are you still with your new girl friend? If so, is there something lacking in your new relationship that allows your mind to drift back to the ex? Just a thought.

I was doing fine and then she messaged me out of the blue as per my previous posts. I think that was the idea - worm her way back into my thoughts because maybe she's not completely happy.

I am still with my new girlfriend. There are things maybe that my ex was better with but there are some qualities about my new girlfriend that are miles better.

My new girlfriend isn't the "girl of my dreams" but I definitely enjoy her company and like being around her. But sometimes I think I don't see a future.

How are you meant to know!! I don't want to make the same mistake again and mess her around by being unsure. This time I'm doing it the other way round and waiting until I am sure either way.

Why is it that it's almost a year now and I still think about my ex and it still bugs me about what she did. Why does it bug me that her boyfriends sister is friends with my sister in law?

It's a bit like I'm still annoyed that there's a link to her.

I also think maybe there is something lacking in the new relationship. I've been having doubts recently. I just don't think my new girlfriend is on the same wavelength as me or really shares the same interests. I'm worried that although we get on well, we aren't really best friends.

Usually when things are not right with us, we take that attitude into other areas of our life and make them bigger than what they are.

You haven't been with this new girl all that long, and I feel your trying to replace what you had with her. That never works because how can she be expected to just step in and everything is lovely.

I just don't think you have the mindset, to be ready for a relationship yet.

I just don't think you have the mindset, to be ready for a relationship yet.


I agree with tal. It sounds like you're not over your ex and the reason? You keep hearing from her. Block her number so she can't contact you.

In the meantime, maybe you should consider being by yourself for now. I understand you're in a relationship, but this sounds like she was a rebound. You cannot be in a relationship and regret the things she isn't, compared to your ex.

You are not over the ex and being in a relationship with this new girl is not healthy.

You are not going to find out if you're truly into her, because the ex still haunts your memories.

You are not going to heal properly if she keeps contacting.

You are not going to heal properly if you grab a rebound relationship.


You should really think about what makes you happy... but before you do, maybe you should think about it alone.

I think that's good advice. Today I was walking along the street and my ex was walking straight towards me. I got really upset with myself because lots of feelings came rushing back which has made me realise I'm definitely not over her. It annoys me because I know it's not fair on my current girlfriend and I know deep down that I still miss my ex.

We are moving close to a year Sam, and honestly I think your not aware that your dealing with your feelings, and not be as impulsive as you were. Thats some progress, but patience is still needed to keep the process going.

Just keep working, and hang tough for yourself.

Thanks. I know I'm in a lot better state than I was a year ago. I don't feel as needy or alone as before and I feel like I am in a much better place as far as relationships with friends. I think I've grown up a lot as well, and am not as panicky.

One thing that annoyed me about my ex is that she was really insecure and kept trying to be something she wasn't and when I saw her she looked really well and back to the girl I first fell in love. I think she has probably grown up a lot as well.

My new girlfriend is a bit younger and I don't think she's mature enough to make the kind of important decisions and be at the stage I would like to be at.

Hi everyone. Been a while - I'm still seeing the girl I've been with for more than a year so that's good but I'm still really unsure about things. She keeps asking me "will i do this? Will i put this here? will I go do this? will I phone this?" and seems to want me to make all the decisions. I hate that and it drives me nuts sometimes. Add to that, I've meant someone who I quite like and I'm not sure what to do. I know it seems to be working with the girl I'm seeing now because she is into me and I'm not sure if I want to risk losing that for someone else. But then again, I want to be sure I'm with the right person and I'm not sure I am.

Any advice?

Don't string anyone along. If you're unsure, step back from them.

I'm just worried that all my problems are caused by myself. The pattern seems to be that I meet someone then I pick away at little things until I ruin it.

For example I get on brilliantly with my girlfriend but little things have started to bug me and I now question whether it will last. The little things boil down to the fact that I don't trust her to do things properly - making me feel like a control freak because I feel like I have to keep an eye on her.

It wasn't really the same with my ex - the things that bugged me were that she made it awkward when with friends and she seemed to be bottling things up. But the fact is I spot these flaws and it builds and builds. It's like I'm trying to destroy the relationship. I don't know what that means though

Whatever it was. She is careless to your feelings. She moved in with him,slept with him,normally this would tear a guy apart. And she knows this. But does not care that much, I say move on, coming from someone who has been played and hurt before. Move on, the faster you do the sooner you start to heal. I know how haaaard it is trust me I know. But she has no right to happy birthday you after she ripped your heart to pieces. She chose to be with someone else. She should respect you enough to let you move on too. And the best thing you could do is to move on to a better more successful person.

I have not commented in a while but what I will say is this. You have moved on with someone else and yet these things still draw you back to her. WHY .
She has made you miserable and is only still messing with you head. She doesn't care about you anymore but this new GF does.
It is good to see and ask yourself where this is going and if it will work, but do not look to far ahead also, have your milestones set but take the steps one at a time.
I remember when everything first started since it was along the time of my breakup as well (last year) but since then I have not looked back, granted they were the encounters here and there but now that is it. I decided to cut it off and just be with my GF who I know is much more suited for me.

You need to see that what you had with her was not the real thing or it would have worked out, somehow I feel you are still thinking about this and hoping... but for what I don't know.

I don't know what it is. I think I don't look up to my girlfriend in the same way. I don't quite trust her either. This is maybe just a reaction from last time though.

I'm trying to stick at it and see how it pans out though! Thanks for your advice, I do appreciate it

Sure your past will affect you and you will not be the same after different relationships, and it is good to learn the lessons from them in order not to do the same mistakes, but do not try and compare both relationships as this will lead to nothing...

Best of luck

I am guessing that since we haven't heard from you in a while things are good :)

Sammie66, what you up to these days? All is well ?