I recently gave up my job, my house, my grandkids, my friends and most of the things I love. I moved 258 miles to care for my father because I was told by the girl he raised, that I am his only blood and it is my responsibility to care for him. It took me 6 mns to get my affairs in order to make this move. When I arrived the house smelled so bad and there was dog poo everywhere. Some fresh, some petrified. The house was also infested with roaches.

My father is a severe diabetic, who hasn't taken an insulin shot in about 5 mns and when he did I don't think it was on a regular basis. He is on kidney dialoysis 3 times a week and thinks that he is doing fine. He is constantly sick, (throwing up and weak) I catch him with handfulls of candy he takes from the bank. I don't know what to do about him.

He is very difficult and said he owns his house and the dog can crap where ever it wants. He has signed up for some local government program where they will tear his house down and build him another. I say if you don't care about this one than the likelihood of the new one being in the same condition is very good. The dog will continue to do the same thing in the new house and then what was the point in getting a new house??

My question is what are the steps I need to take to get him put in a nursing home where he can be medicated the way he is suppose to. I am not a nurse and I am at my wits end with him. I am trying to do the right thing, but what I thought was the right thing is maybe not the right thing, any hints would be appreciated.

Well first while going to help your dad is a nice thing, you also have a life that needed to be respected also, you did not say anything about a spouse and your current kids but spoke of grandkids.

So you should have considered other options also but that is too late now.

Talk to the nursing home and then talk to his doctor find out what your state requires for a commitment. Again, he is is sane and just wants to live his way, or if he wants to die by eating the wrong things, I am not sure you can stop him, ( if he is sane) So you need to make appointment with the nursing home administor, for myself to be honest we drove dad there, went in, I signed papers admitting him, and he was there, even though he did not want to be. But not sure how it works everywhere,

Welcome to AMHD. This is lengthy, but informative: Postgraduate Medicine: Evaluation of nursing home patients (http://www.postgradmed.com/issues/2000/02_00/king.shtml)