My daughter is 17 and has recently had a baby, she is an unwed teenage mother with another year of high school to complete. The father is not and has not participated in the pregnancy/birth or contributed financially and his name does not appear on the birth certificate. My daughter wants to petition the Virginia courts for custody, but will the courts grant custody to a minor?

I don't think so, but 18 years is a long time to not have child support... the father must be old enough to accept 1/2 responsibility, and be legally required to help support the innocent baby... you play, you pay...

Welcome to AMHD. Here is a resource but I don't know if it answers your specific question: Custody and Visitation Law in Virginia (http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/va/custody/custody.htm)

My daughter is 17 and has recently had a baby, she is an unwed teenage mother with another year of high school to complete. The father is not and has not participated in the pregnancy/birth or contributed financially and his name does not appear on the birth certificate. My daughter wants to petition the Virginia courts for custody, but will the courts grant custody to a minor?


I would question why your daughter would need custody - she already has custody and until he's tested or on the birth certificate the father has no rights.

Her name is on the birth certificate as the mother ? If she does not currently have custody of the child, who does, did you go to family court and get the court to grant you custody ?

Also your daughter should be asking the courts to order child support against the father.

17 year old girls have custody of their children all the time

Unless the court took the baby away from her she already has custody. What she needs to do is go to court and petition the court to order a DNA test to prove paternaty. Then after the test comes back positive that the boyfriend is the father then the judge will order support and visitation.

My daughter wants to petition the Virginia courts for custody, but will the courts grant custody to a minor?
I believe the court will award custody to your daughter; though she is a minor, this event may have caused her emancipation, and minors are not without rights anyway. You haven't said much about the dad; he is entitled to notice and he should be helping to support the child as well.

I believe the court will award custody to your daughter; though she is a minor, this event may have caused her emancipation, and minors are not without rights anyway. You haven't said much about the dad; he is entitled to notice and he should be helping to support the child as well.


Actually I find it's 18 in Virginia and I find nothing about having a child being an automatic emancipation.

I don't understand who is challenging custody so that the Court would award custody to the daughter. As I said before, she already HAS custody - unless the OP hasn't posted the entire background.

Actually I find it's 18 in Virginia and I find nothing about having a child being an automatic emancipation.

I don't understand who is challenging custody so that the Court would award custody to the daughter. As I said before, she already HAS custody - unless the OP hasn't posted the entire background.



No one has challenged custody yet. But I was told that the first thing to do was to go through the courts and establish custody, then go to the child support agency and pursue child support payments and at that point discuss visitations.

The father is either 19 or 20 years old and lives with his mother. He does not have a job or drivers license because he lost them on an under age possession of alcohol charge. His mother is facing 6 count of prescription drug fraud charges.

About a month ago my daughter told me she had been taking the baby to see them, and I blew a gasket to say the least. She told me that they wanted to see the baby, I have no problem with them seeing the baby however I do have a problem with her taking the baby to them. She is a student in high school and they ar both adults (what is wrong with this picture) never mind I am paying for her gas to drive to school. She worked part-time while in school and while pregnant. She just started a new job, she hasn't worked since she had the baby in February, so I have been paying all expenses (daycare, formula, diapers, baby wipes etc... ) She just recently started getting WIC checks to help with the babies food. Now that she is working full-time she will start paying the daycare expenses, however once school starts back up she will have to go to part-time and I will have to start helping her with that expense again.

So for them to expect her to go out of her way and endure even more expense by bringing the baby to them is unbelievable. Never mind I have never even met either one of them.

So I just think that it would be better for her to establish legal custody through the courts, just wasn't sure if the courts actual grant custody to minors.

Wow - sounds like one big heartache for you.

OK - I would think because apparently the father's parents (and the father) have interest in visiting with the child (although I see and your daughter supporting that child without them!) if I were you I would consult with an Attorney.

At the moment your daughter DOES have legal custody of the child - she's the mother and until paternity is established, the father (and his parents - and possibly they have no rights in your State if paternity IS established) has no rights whatsoever.

But if your daughter goes to Court for support he (and his family) probably will want to prove paternity (the Court may very well order paternity testing, depends on the Court), there will be DNA testing, he will be determined to be the father - and she will be awarded custody (most probably), he will have visitation rights and your daughter will be entitled to support. Will he pay it? Doesn't sound like it but you never know. Once he has visitation he and his parents will have the ability to keep the child overnight when the child can be away from the mother overnight.

I - and I'm not trying to get you to spend more money - think I would run this past an Attorney. I see good things that could happen and some pitfalls. Maybe it's best left alone at this point. I don't know. I would think your daughter will get pretty tired of supporting this child and break it off with the father - but who knows.

I am very vocal when people give personal advice on the legal board - that being said (and I'm braced for the criticism and eating my own words) if you read the other posts you will see how many teenage mothers drop out of school, don't work, collect Welfare - so everything else aside, your daughter sounds like she's being responsible in many other areas. She just has to get over this guy.)

A couple of other points here. If your daughter is applying for public assistance, then that agency will insist on getting the info on the father and that she pursue a support order. That will open the whole can of worms on support and visitation.

Unless your dtr is proven unfit, she will get primary physical custody, but the father may get joint legal custody.

Please be careful, the babys' welfare is important, because the baby is most vulnerable. I've seen people try to use a defenseless child, to obtain single parent and child welfare assistance from the state... the baby grows up in that environment, thinks it's normal, then repeats the cycle... it becomes self perpetuating through generations... I've seen it in many countries...

Please be careful, the babys' welfare is important, because the baby is most vulnerable. I've seen people try to use a defenseless child, to obtain single parent and child welfare assistance from the state...the baby grows up in that environment, thinks it's normal, then repeats the cycle...it becomes self perpetuating through generations...I've seen it in many countries...


I don't understand what you are saying about trying to use a defenseless child to obtain single parent and child welfare assistance - how is that "using a defenseless child?"

Single mothers very often need extra help, particularly young mothers, and I don't see that as "using" the child nor do I think they should feel guilty for "using" the child to collect benefits.

I do agree that Welfare becomes a self-perpetuating cycle in some cases.

I have to say I'm so glad your daughter has you! If you can convince her to make the father come to her that would be a start so she dosen't have that added pressure. Also if she wants she can go to court to ask the judge for a DNA test that way he can order support and visitation. Once visitation is ordered then she can rest somewhat easier (hopefully) because they will have set visitation days and times and they will most likely have to come to her or a meet in the middle kind of thing instead of her always going to him.

I agree that there are situations where a single parent needs help. There's no question that happens. However, in every place I've worked, where the government is rich enough to afford social programs, there are also opportunists (of both genders) who don't care about the childs' future. The only thing they care about is how the state can give them "free money" because they have custody of a child. When it starts, the child has no say, and is defenceless. The child needs protection.

I agree that there are situations where a single parent needs help. There's no question that happens. However, in every place I've worked, where the government is rich enough to afford social programs, there are also opportunists (of both genders) who don't care about the childs' future. The only thing they care about is how the state can give them "free money" because they have custody of a child. When it starts, the child has no say, and is defenceless. The child needs protection.

First, that does not appear to be the case here. It certainly appears that the mother and grandmother have the child's care at heart. Second, there are agencies that are supposed to protect the child in these instances. They don't always work, but a good percentage of the time they do.

Finally, this is the Family Law board. So answers here need to deal with the legal issues raised by the OP. Your answers didn't do that.

I never questioned mother or grandmother. Agencies can, and have erred. The issue is custody, and the father/other grandmother may go after that.

I never questioned mother or grandmother. Agencies can, and have erred. The issue is custody, and the father/other grandmother may go after that.



No and I don't say this disrespectfully - you raised the issue of using the child and protecting the child. I still don't see how accepting Welfare benefits (which I think you are addressing) is harmful to the child or "uses" the child in any way -

And, yes, "the system" is flaws but I don't understand the point you are trying to make concerning "using and protecting" children.

What I raised was protecting the child from being used... by anyone.

What I raised was protecting the child from being used...by anyone.



Again and then I'll drop it because this is not a message board (and I'm the one who keeps reminding people of that!) - how to you think applying for benefits is using (or hurting) the child - ?

When benefits are used for the child as intended, no problem... when benefits are not used as intended, that is using the child just to get the benefits.

It appears the one poster has some agenda against public welfare systems, Children and family services are not the welfare system. The welfare system merely supplies medical care , food assistance and money assistance to those in need. This does not endanger anyone.

My agenda is: when some claim social benefits for a child, then mis-use them, the child is a victim. Examples are: Making a deal with a small store to buy cigarettes or beer with food stamps, and ringing them up as milk and eggs. Having subsidized rent, and using the dwelling as a narcotics distribution point. These things happen.

Not everyone does this.

Yet according to the poster, this childs' father is a prime candidate. My caution lights went on when I read her postings describing his lack of financial support, a criminal history, and wanting to see the baby. In all of this, that infant is the real victim.

Ok, I will bring this a close. I really think you (rsain) are jumping way ahead and making assumptions that are far afield of the Original post.

The OP appears to want to do the right thing and there is no indication that the father will have a chance to abuse the public support system.

So lets drop it.

My agenda is: when some claim social benefits for a child, then mis-use them, the child is a victim. Examples are: Making a deal with a small store to buy cigarettes or beer with food stamps, and ringing them up as milk and eggs. Having subsidized rent, and using the dwelling as a narcotics distribution point. These things happen.

Not everyone does this.

Yet according to the poster, this childs' father is a prime candidate. My caution lights went on when I read her postings describing his lack of financial support, a criminal history, and wanting to see the baby. In all of this, that infant is the real victim.


I am not sure how we got here, but there are no welfare checks involved. I simple stated that my daughter recently started receiving WIC (Women, Infant and Children) checks. These checks are for formula and rice cereal, they have no cash value, you get a certain amount of formula a month and a certain amount of cereal a month. My name and her name appear on the checks and we have to sign them at the register in front of the cashier. As the baby gets older she will also receive checks for baby foods, the department determines that according to the child's age.

My number one concern is to ensure that my daughter gets custody of her baby and keeps it. I don't have a problem with the father and other grandmother seeing the baby as long as they do it right.

My daughter is being a very good mother, I help her but I don't do it for her. She is planning to finish high school and attend college. She has dualed enrolled next year which means when she finishes high school she will also have completed 14 college credit hours. She managed, while pregnant to work and go to school and all the while she maintained a 4.0 grade point average this year. It hasn't been easy for her or for the rest of the family but I am proud of her and I love her and my grandchild and now I couldn't imagine my home without that baby in it.

I don't want her to petition the court for custody and then find out that they won't grant custody to a minor and then possible have the father end up with custody.

Well don't worry about the court not giving her custody she is the mother and has shown no signs of being unfit. Your other concern about the father getting the child is a more "real" concern (I don't mean you other concerns aren't real). I highly doubt the court will give him full physical cusody but he will get visitation and once the baby is over a year every other weekend (usually).

I am not sure how we got here, but there are no welfare checks involved. I simple stated that my daughter recently started receiving WIC (Women, Infant and Children) checks. These checks are for formula and rice cereal, they have no cash value, you get a certain amount of formula a month and a certain amount of cereal a month. My name and her name appear on the checks and we have to sign them at the register in front of the cashier. As the baby gets older she will also receive checks for baby foods, the department determines that according to the childs age.

My number one concern is to ensure that my daughter gets custody of her baby and keeps it. I don't have a problem with the father and other grandmother seeing the baby as long as they do it right.

My daughter is being a very good mother, I help her but I don't do it for her. She is planning to finish high school and attend college. She has dualed enrolled next year which means when she finishes high school she will also have completed 14 college credit hours. She managed, while pregnant to work and go to school and all the while she maintained a 4.0 grade point average this year. It hasn't been easy for her or for the rest of the family but I am proud of her and I love her and my grandchild and now I couldn't imagine my home without that baby in it.

I don't want her to petition the court for custody and then find out that they won't grant custody to a minor and then possible have the father end up with custody.



I think your intention and your daughter's character show up loud and clear - as I said, she works, she takes care of her child, she has a mother who obviously loves her, a supportive family and her mother wants what is best for the child and the mother. Plenty of young mothers have no plans, no future, no sense of the World - that is not the case here.

I have no idea how the conversation got off track -

Again, maybe the baby was a mistake, maybe a blessing, but that doesn't change the basic "custody" issue. If you go back to my post you can see the in's and out's. I basically don't think she needs to file for custody, she already has custody, but read back through the answers, see what you think, come back with other questions.

I'd be proud of her, too - she has a future, she's taking care of business and ensuring she has a future.

So let us know what happens and any questions you may have -

I want to add my kudos to your daughter. You have every right to be proud of her.

But I do want to clarify something. Welfare is often used to describe ANY form of public assistance. The WIC payments are public assistance. There is no reason to be ashamed of asking for and receiving help when help is needed.