Why do men talk dirty towards a woman? For example, you may be doing something and he'll say suck my... or
I know you want to...

I think that it gives men pleasure to think... or better yet fantasize that women will actually follow through with the lude comments that they make... self gratification I suppose.

So do you think he really wants me to do something??

Okay first off... is he your boyfriend... an aquintance... do you know him at all... If I was in your situation, I suppose it would matter in what type of way he was saying it... none the less it would be disrespectful.

Truth is I have been seeing him for two years, but he is married. We have been intimate but things have changed in the last couple of months because his spouse started to suspect. I know this is all wrong but it is just complex.

I am going through a separation, but he is not. We still see each other every day and when we are together he makes these comments like he wants something but it is more difficult now because we are really terrible and sneaking around.

Before his wife knew we went out because we walked the dogs together but after time she started to suspect.

Help please

My number one suggestion is... stop! How would you feel if it was you as the wife and your husband was sneaking around? I know that it is hard especially with feelings involved.. but think logically... will you two ever be together in an open relationship?? He might be saying these rude comments to you just to push you away... I don't know... Im not a shrink, but I think that in your heart you know the answer... good luck.

1 cheater + 1 cheater= 2 losers!:cool: :eek:

I know you are right, but it's too hard to stop - sometimes I think how did this go so far
I don't know...

I don't know what else to say.. only the two of you can call it quits... Hope that it all turns out well in the end.. which it probably won't because someone always gets hurt.

You shouldn't have been doing that in the first place, as someone said what if that was you? But what's been done has been done nothing can be taken back, well, I think he talks dirty because it is what he really fantasises about and this is what his wife is not giving him and because you're his 'on the side girl' he thinks your guna give him all the stuff he isn't getting. Do you want to be with this man? If a man will cheat for you, he will cheat on you! Goodluck though

Don't think I don't know in my heart what we are doing is wrong, but I do want to be with him and I know the reality is I probably will never have him,
If he loves his wife so much and I believe he does why doesn't he stop seeing me?

I know you know what your doing is wrong, your on here asking for advice aren't you.. well he is prob still seeing his wife because he does love her and he probably can't see the future of you two, but as I said your obviously giving him what his wife is not! So with the two of you together you are giving him everything he wants! And yes it is also obvious you love him but one question? If you got him... would you still want him? It is something to think about, as you may just think you love him because it is something you know you can't have or you know you have to be sneaky,. I'm not saying this is it I'm just asking?

You know what? I have cheated before. I think that the reason that it is done is change... excitement... it is something new.. you get that butterfly in your stomach feeling... you don't leave the one that you are with, because it is comfortable... safe... you know that person... you may not be happy, but it is better then having to start all over with someone else.. I don't know... cheating is wrong... I learned that...

Correct! Everything you said then is true! I have also cheated before same thing but I knew it was wrong and broke it off with the both of them... I broke up wit my man at the time as I cheated on him and I broke it off with the other guy because I realised he let me cheat, and was fine with it. And if I had wanted to be with him, I wouldn't have been happy with him for that reason! You need to think, is he worth keeping? Mayb you feel he is but will he ever leave his wife for you??

I actually did leave my boyfriend and stayed with the guy that I cheated with... I got pregnant... and left him because guess what?? He wasn't who I thought that he was... I am now in a happy relationship have been for 5 years... cheating is wrong, and you will never be happy doing it, and you will only think bad of yourself for letting it be done to you... because he is cheating on you also... not only his wife...

I believe I really want him. What you don't understand is the crazy relationship we had before his wife clamped down, if you will. He would pick me up and we would take the dogs out or in the afternoons if I was off or he was off from work we went out different places. We got too comfortable, I think, thinking we were a couple - people saw us together a lot - same routine every day yes I don't think we gave a crap (that was what started it people were going back telling his wife how comfy it looked)... then he got sick and it was after his surgery that she told him to stop going with me to walk the dogs. But, he is another one did he stop no... the fact is I would be with him if I could so where does this all leave me.

Thanks for your help so far.

I am sorry to tell you this... but apparently he doesn't want to be with you if he hasn't left his wife after this long... sorry.

Yes I know how you feel by getting to comfy and close to him! But doesn't it bother you that, he is not only doing what he does with you... with his wife?. and he goes home to her at the end of the day? Does this bother you at all? If so you need to talk to him and tell him that your sick of being the woman on the side for him, and you really need to send out that message to him that you are more than that! If he doesn't agree by leaving his wife then I think it is time you leave... what do you think?

You are right. I know he has the best of both worlds.

I agree, stop or seek help. I think your behaviour is self destructive. As you are involved with an abusive man and you gain none of the real joys of your partners full attention. Also maybe his psychology in his constant lewd comments is to make you the whore. So when you finally do have sex again he is guilt free.

i know you are right, but it's too hard to stop - sometimes i think how did this go so far
i don't know...

Dutchess - I don't know how old you are, if this is your first relationship, or if you just like married men because you know they cannot make a commitment.

Either way, if he has just recently started being verbally abusive, he wants a way out - and if you have any self-respect at all left, cut it off and go on with your life. Take your dog for a walk at another time, and don't let this man stress you out any longer. He is being disrespectful for a reason, and if you cannot talk about it, then he's no longer open to you or how you feel.

No matter what your choice, I wish you a lot of luck, it's hard to part, but sometimes very important for your personal growth.
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Sometimes it's better to be alone than with someone who does not give you the care, warmth, and respect you deserve.

Maybe even consider moving to another area. Don't TELL HIM WHERE. Then don't even consider talking to him unless he is fully divorced.

The problem is you don't even want it to end. If you did then you would either leave or give him and altimatum.. Until then you are going to feel like crap, and you are going to know that every night he goes home to his wife.

Because they've got no class, that's why. Also because a lot of women nowadays tolerate and sometimes even encourage it. In the interest of "equality" and "political correctness", which all started with the women's lib movement of the 60's, a lot of women fell that they have to be treated and talked to just like men. Essentially they've given up their "womanhood" and have allowed others to take it away from them as well. The men are just as much to blame in all of this because they've allowed themselves to stop treating women with chivalry.

He will treat you like his whore because you let him duh. What else do you expect from a married man with a chick on the side?:cool: :eek:

If you are unhappy and tired of the lifestyle you lead, there are other alternatives that you need to pursue.

You need to do something positive and constructive for yourself so that you no longer are stressed out.

If it means getting rid of him, then do so as soon as possible, as he will not leave his spouse, and you'll only hurt more - maybe to a point of no repair.

No man is that great in bed that you need to put up with the other 23 1/2 hours of the day in hell.

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Maybe only 30 min for some Chery.:)

Maybe only 30 min for some Chery.:)

You're right, some that care take more time to prove how they feel, but this guy is not one of them.

Lots of hugs and see you guys in four weeks. Until then, keep up the help and super support.

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I have to agree with the above posts. Cheating is cheating and now your in a stuck because there are feelings invoved, especially on your side. Sweetie the one thing to remember is if a man is going to cheat on his wife... what's to say that he won't with you if you end up together. That alone would lead me to end the affair... you are his "other woman" he probably is embarressed talking that way to his wife and likes saying to you... your the fantasy.. your the one who he is doing something "naughty" with. That's probably why he likes talking like that to you. Or its simply the way he is during sex. But its not abnormal for a man to say these things during sex.

You are already in the process of leaving your husband. Why not make a new start and find a man who isn't already hitched... You could avoid a lot of the problems your having now. He doesn't seem to be in a rush to leave his wife.I would end it.

I really appreciate the advice

Let me ask -

We go out every morning - a routine -

Walk dogs have coffee, etc.

What do you think I should say re ending it?

Be blunt, honest, and confident!

Simply tell him that you can no longer continue this relationship. It is not what you want. No himming... no hawing. There is no room for discussion and be sure to let him know that. Let him know that he can continue to walk his dog here but you will be finding a new route.

It is imperative that you cut off all communication with him... no "just friends," no walking the dogs together... no nothing!

Your original question is why do men talk dirty to girls. I think in this case it is lack of respect, and he knows that he can talk how ever he wants to. And now for what he is saying I thin he is telling you to suck his cock or to **** him is because that is what he wants and he knows you will do it.
Have some self respect for yourself and find a guy that will have respect for you and will treat you like a lady. Of course you have to earn this respect from the start and one way that you do this is not jumping into bed with him on the first date. Wait till he has a chance to find out that you are more than just someone to have sex with, he might even find something about you that he really likes and this could become a perminate relationship. But good luck in your future relationships.

Not that this means much at this point, but it wasn't until a year later that I slept with him.

Regardless, he is still married... you have no future with this guy.

(Some may hate me for this next part but... )

Take it for what it is worth... then move on. I realize that no matter how much we tell you to ditch this guy, you may not. So if you don't... fine, have fun with it. But keep your emotions out of it. There is no future here.. no matter how much you want it.

1 cheater + 1 cheater= 2 losers!:cool: :eek:
Amen to that!

Yeah...

Talking dirty can be good at the right times, but if it offends...

Tell him to F*** himself and to... well whatever fun words you can think of.
Strong talkers usually get thrown back when confronted, it is a lot like a bully. My roommate is a bit of an *******, but shuts right up when you give him his own medicine. Long and short is that respect is earned and lost based on your responses to individuals.

Not sure if this is clear yet, are you actually emotionally invloved? Would u ever consider marrying the guy? Or are u just annoyed by his random comments and wish to have sex and not be insulted? I think the fact is u want emotion involvement. He doesn't, never did, so he is distancing u. Find someone with higher attitudes.

OK if he id trying to distance himself why does he still go out in the am with me to walk the dogs, why does he come by my home to see the birds, (last year we bought cockatiels together), why does he call me from his cell (of course, he erases the number immediately) when he wants to tell me something, why does he give me advice on things re: my son, I could go on and on...

Thanks.

First, real men don't talk that way to ladies.

Low class and men from the hood may talk that way but they deserve the low class women that will put up with it.

Next I will offend you, but a women who are satisfied to be the mistriss and have affairs with married men really deserve what little sexual pleasure and lack of emotional happiness really are either fooling thierself or settling for second rate relationship

You get treated by men they way you allow them to treat you. If you accept 2nd best then why complain.

Gee whiz lady let me clue you in-he has to stay on your good side to keep you on his side! You are his personal piece and he wants you to stay that way! Stop giving him his booty calls and see how long he hangs around. Sorry to sound so mean but you don't seem to get it.He's lying and cheating on his wife with you the perfect chick on the side and you think you've got something special, using any excuse you can to convince yourself he cares for you. In fact he does,but as an easy lay anytime he gets horny and wants to freak out.All cheaters are nice to their other women,so please get help to break his hold on you and stop being some jerks piece of meat! :cool: :eek: :mad:

It is there way of being the man, showing you that they are in charge or superior to you, that they are well basically just disrespect you and have no respect for women in general, and when you take into account that he is cheating on his wife with you (case in point) he has no respect for women and or their feelings. This is why he says things like that. Find an unattached man, with respect and manners, someone that will hopefully love you and respect you and treat you as a person should be treated and if you are lucky. He will not meet some one to walk his dog with and break your heart.


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ok if he id trying to distance himself why does he still go out in the am with me to walk the dogs, why does he come by my home to see the birds, (last year we bought cockatiels together), why does he call me from his cell (of course, he erases the number immediately) when he wants to tell me something, why does he give me advice on things re: my son, i could go on and on...

thanks.
He is distancing you emotionally but maintaining a familiarity so he may return for a booty call. Also he is probably remaining friendly for damage control reasons. My suggestions is you decide if you want emotional involvement, if so, its not him.

Thanks.

I know I am emotionally involved. I believe he is also to some degree. And yes, you are right he definitely wants a piece - he made that clear this weekend. What can I say I am a jerk I know, but I can't let the feelings go.

thanks.

i know i am emotionally involved. i believe he is also to some degree. and yes, you are right he definitely wants a piece - he made that clear this weekend. what can i say i am a jerk i know, but i can't let the feelings go.

You know, there are a lot of us who have had an affair with a man who is married or already has a commitment to another lover. In the long run, when it happens to you, you will start to despise women like yourself.
Put yourself in the wife's shoes. How would you feel if your man was seeing another woman, and she knew about you-but just didn't care and continued to see your man? Don't continue to become someone you hate.