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32Henry
Jun 20, 2008, 11:45 AM
I live in NC for 4.5 years and have custody of my two children. Divorced in NJ 7.5 years ago. Mother hasn't talked to, sent cards for birthday or holidays in years. Last contact was by phone three years in Sept. or Oct. Last contact was for ten minutes three years ago July. Divorce was in NJ. She owes about $20,000.00 in CS and hasn't paid in about 5.5 years.
I wish to terminate her parental rights, possible adoption a year or two down the road. I have contacted several local lawyers locally and all want $3,500.00 just to start with no figure or what it could cost. I just can't afford that.
Where can I find forms and is it possible to do myself ? I have handled other motions in the past all with success.

stinawords
Jun 20, 2008, 12:03 PM
It isn't likely that a judge will allow it until they are able to be adopted right away. Also I'm not sure about the states that you have to deal with but in my area the judges require one of the parents to obtain a lawyer for a TPR. You can start the paperwork yourself for it but if those judges are the same as here it won't mean anything until you have a lawyer. You are probably better off for the time being anyway (until adoption is a now thing) going to court to try to get her to pay or have it garnished from her wages or something like that.

ScottGem
Jun 20, 2008, 12:18 PM
If you had browsed through the hundreds of similar threads on this subject in this forum, you would have seen what your first response was referring to.

I have to ask what you think you will gain with a TPR?

But the bottomline is the courts are not likely to grant a TPR unless its part of an adoption. So wait until then and save your money in the meantime.

Why haven't you be pursuing support? There are agencies that will help you.

32Henry
Jun 20, 2008, 12:45 PM
I am pursuing it because the x hasn't been seen or heard from in years, but she is always trying to steel from us and I believe one time she will be successful and somehow my kids will be held accountable, EX. She has tried to get cars in my name and used my SS number, tried to reopen charge accounts after divorce, did reopen a cell phone account that cost me 500.00. Has tried to use my kids to steal from me, bring that collectible you have and lets get it appraised then never see it again, (coins, watches etc.) the list goes on. Her parents are as bad or even worse,(they have mortgages with many SS#s my ex's is one.) as is her one sister. Also I am sick and don't want her back in their lives if something happens to me. (It would only be for financial gain then leave the kids again).
As far as CS it is out of a NJ court and she is FM they will do nothing, been in court with her three times and each time she was allowed to leave without giving me a penny, she even told a Judge " I'm never paying a Fu_____ penny and he let her walk out. She has threatened my kids lives as well as mine in front of a Judge in Court an was allowed to leave. I do have a FRO against her.
She has at least 6 Felony warrants just in NJ some in PA. and one in NY
I don't want her to show up one day and just try to take over.
Thank you peoples for the responses

ScottGem
Jun 20, 2008, 12:51 PM
First, I don't see how she can use you or the kids to steal or if a TPR will make a difference in that.

However, you do present a case where she might be considered a danger to the kids which could get you the TPR. But it would still mean hiring a lawyer and going to court. I would still recommend waiting and bundling it all into an adoption.

32Henry
Jun 20, 2008, 12:59 PM
I think that's what I may due, I thought it may be something I could have done myself. Even if an Adoption is goiung to happen I probably couldn't afford it. Also the last time she took them for visitation was 4 years ago this month and my kids ages 12 and 6 called from a hotel in A/C nj and she had left them in the room while she told my son she had business they called me all upset and crying by the time I contacted the hotel on enother phone she had come back. She asked what did she do wrong.
Thanks

Fr_Chuck
Jun 20, 2008, 01:38 PM
The trouble is that most places do not allow rights to be taken away for merely not paying child support or not seeing the child, while these are bad, this alone is not normally accepted as the reason to take their rights away from them. I believe it should be, but in many places it is specificly listed as not a reason.

And to try and take the rights from someone is not something you can do without an attorney, it is too complicated, and runs some very fine points of the law. And why the attoreny can't tell you how much is will the other person fight it ?

32Henry
Jun 20, 2008, 02:35 PM
Well we have no idea where she even is I guess that doesn't help either.
She has abandoned them I don't think ayone could argy that fact.
Thanks