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View Full Version : I'm 14, pregnant and going through with my pregnancy and have a few questions


RazorbladeKisse
Jun 20, 2008, 03:33 AM
Hey There, I've recently found out that I was pregnant, about 4 weeks, and I've decided to keep the baby, despite my parents kicking me out, and the father leaving, I only want to know a few things:

1. Can I die?
2. Can the baby be a still born?
3. Is there any way of keeping my baby? as in, not giving it up to social services or what ever?
4. Is there anyone else outthere who is in the same situation as me that can talk to me one on one?

binayakumar80
Jun 20, 2008, 03:36 AM
No but your age is too short to give birth to a baby

smokedetector
Jun 20, 2008, 04:44 AM
1) yes, you can die giving birth or from complications before/after, but that is something that can happen to anyone having a baby not just you. I must say, however, that your risks are increased since you are so young. My advice, see a doctor. If your parents will pay for it, go to your moms obgyn, otherwise there are free clinics you can search for, though I'm not sure about their age policy. Depending on where you live, your parents have to take care of you until you're 18, so it's illegal for them to kick you out, but I've heard in some states once you get pregnant that's not the case anymore. Check online for laws where you are. There is also emancipation, but again, I don't know how old you have to be to be emancipated. At worst, you will have to find a social worker. Check into some local churches, as a lot of times they will help or point you somewhere than can.
2) yes, but like I said before, this is something that is a risk regardless. However your age could complicate things. It not that you're just too young to be having a baby so the risks increase, it's that because you are so young all of your body parts/organs are underdeveloped/smaller which causes complications.
3) yes if your parents come around and let you live with them and go to school while they help raise the baby. Other than that, I don't know, but look around the internet for more on that.
4) probably, but not me

It's none of my business, but if I may, how come you started having sex SO young and why didn't you use protection at the very least? You do know about condoms and things, I hope?

ScottGem
Jun 20, 2008, 08:25 AM
Smoke gave you a very good answer. My question is, if your parents kicked you out, where are you staying now? Where did you get a computer to post this from? Have you contacted your local social services agency? Have you considered all the ramifications of your decision to have this child? How old is the father? What did you mean by his "leaving"?

confused1145
Jun 20, 2008, 10:21 AM
Anything can happen in pregnancy, anything can go wrong. For now, just focus on your baby. Do you have anyone who is willing to take you and the baby in? A family member? Friend's parents? Since you want to keep the baby you need to consider how you are going to support it. Maybe your parents will come around. They are probably just hurt right now. I am 24, pregnant, and no one wants me to keep my baby either just because my child now is 7, but I'm not listening because I have my own place, car, and a good job. Follow your heart and do what's right for you and that baby.

stacyhelp
Jun 20, 2008, 10:31 AM
Hey There, I've recently found out that i was pregnant, about 4 weeks, and i've decided to keep the baby, despite my parents kicking me out, and the father leaving, I only want to know a few things:

1. Can I die?
2. Can the baby be a still born?
3. Is there any way of keeping my baby?, as in, not giving it up to social services or what ever?
4. Is there anyone else outthere who is in the same situation as me that can talk to me one on one?
When you become a mother, in a way you become an adult. No one can take your baby away from you. It is not legal. There is always a risk of complications and a possibility of death, but as for whether the baby and you survive depends on your specific health risks and circumstances.

minders43
Jun 20, 2008, 07:26 PM
no but your age is too short to give birth to a baby
Who are you to tell someone they are too young to give birth to a baby? :confused:
I give her props that she is taking responsibility for her actions, way to step up to the plate. It is a hard life though I will tell you that.

simoneaugie
Jun 20, 2008, 08:06 PM
Depending on how much you have grown in the past few years, you may have reached your adult size. Young people tend to have babies easily. You have my support. Do your "homework" though, and read about everything involved. The more you know, the easier life is. Someone told me that once, my biology teacher.

RazorbladeKisse
Jun 20, 2008, 11:42 PM
smoke gave you a very good answer. My question is, if your parents kicked you out, where are you staying now? Where did you get a computer to post this from? Have you contacted your local social services agency? Have you considered all the ramifications of your decision to have this child? How old is the father? what did you mean by his "leaving"?



I'm staying at my cousins, he's 21, and the father wants nothing to do with the baby, and, I'm sorry to say, but he's 22... he told me he was 17... and he looks it too.

ScottGem
Jun 21, 2008, 05:22 AM
I'm staying at my cousins, hes 21, and the father wants nothing to do with the baby, and, i'm sorry to say, but hes 22...he told me he was 17...and he looks it too.

First, its not up to the father to not want to have nothing to do with the child. He should have thought of that before he raped a 14 year old girl. Yes I said RAPED!! In almost all the states, a 22 yr old having sex with a 14 yr old is statutory rape.

You have a choice here. You can either file rape charges against him or file for child support. I also asked if you had contacted your local social services agency. You NEED to do that, they may take the decision out of your hands, once you tell them who the father is (and you will have to), they may decide to prosecute. Almost certainly they will go after him for support.

But you absolutely need to go to them. There is a ton of help you will need.

RazorbladeKisse
Jun 21, 2008, 05:38 AM
Okay, but what if they see me as an unfit mother? I have 7 younger siblings, and I'm the eldest, and I basically raised them all. Doesn't that count as something?

Fr_Chuck
Jun 21, 2008, 07:14 AM
You are going to need check ups, and tests to be sure you and the baby are OK, and to be sure that there is no problems that will effect either of you. And you will need to be making arrangements for caring for the child. Depending on where you live there may be private non profits that provide help for expecting mothers with no money or you can check with the local welfare system.

ScottGem
Jun 21, 2008, 01:53 PM
If you don't seek assistance, then you will be seen as an unfit mother. If you acknowledge you need help and go out and seek it, it will look better for you. It would take a lot for them to take the child from you.

DeeT33
Jun 24, 2008, 10:41 AM
Yes, there are a lot of risk with pregnancies. As parents we sometimes react and do things because we are hurt by what our child/ren might have done. Some parents come around some don't. Worrying about you parents or the father of your baby will not help your situation at this time, it will only complicate things more. I have a goddaughter who was 15 (now 16) when she got pregnant by a 24 year old male. Yes she might be young but, we allowed her to make her own decision. Social services have support groups and programs for pregnant teens as well as finding you a safe environment for you and the baby. Also, they will provide child care for you to finish school. As far as the father is concern I'm my goddaughters case social services would have prosecuted him because he is/was a registered sex offender. At the time she refused to give them his information and was informed that she would not receive any benefits. She's a little older than you and I would be more than happy to get her to talk to you one on one.

George_1950
Jun 24, 2008, 10:55 AM
Hi Razor: here is a site with additional info: Care Net | Welcome (http://www.care-net.org/)

DeeT33
Jun 24, 2008, 11:00 AM
Okay, but what if they see me as an unfit mother? I have 7 younger siblings, and I'm the eldest, and i basically raised them all. Dosent that count as something?

You will be asked a lot of questions about your home life, parents, siblings, sex partners... It would have to be proven before you can be labeled as an unfit parent and risk having your child/ren taken away. Go to you local social services office, if you don't already have health benefits apply for that and any other services they may offer. Be sure to tell them the truth about everything. My question to you is where were your parents while you were raising your younger siblings?

I applaud you for taking the first step to seek help and guidance. I might not know you personally but, I am praying for you.

babygirl1092
Jun 25, 2008, 08:22 AM
Well first of I am proud of you for stepping up and taking responciblity for your child. But the father situation! That's a big no no for him! In almost every state any one under 17 can not legally have sex. And your 14! You're a baby having a baby and this man (yes he is a man and a legal adult) isn't big enough to take care of you and his unborn child then sweetie let the state prosacute and get your child support! You need all the help you can get. But you do need to seek medical and fincail support because I don't think your cusion can support all 3 of you and if he can more power to him! But the sooner you seek help the better you look. And because of your age you will get financial ade, childcare, medicade, wik, food stamps... exct. Just please for the sake of your child get help and make sure you do the best you can a being a mother. Just remember any woman can give birth it take a special woman to be a mom, and with a little help I believe you can do it! We wish you the best of luck!