circusmonkey
Jun 18, 2008, 05:39 PM
I'm a guy. 33 y/o but I look about 24. My best friend and hangout buddy is a girl and 25. She is very attractive girl. I have known her for 7 years. During this time she had a steady boy friend.
I gave kudos to him because he never seemed bothered that I would come over, pick her up and go out to dinner or the movies. Sometimes he would even say "have a good time guys". We go running, take kickboxing classes, did capoeira together. We were activity buddies. Sometimes I would wonder what was wrong with him. She'd ring me up on new years eve and ask if I wanted to hang out with her because her boyfriend was out with his friends.
I always found her very attractive but the thought never got in my head that I wanted to sleep with her. I remember once we went to the pool and she came out in this two piece bikini. Man. I had to jump in the water quickly because other parts of my body were beyond control! :-)
It never bothered me that she hung out with others guys or that she was pashing her boyfriend in front of me. Or talked about hot guys. She was just my friend. We're very close. She has found a shoulder to cry on on many occasions. We'd talk about so many things. We know each other very well.
When she told me she wanted to marry boyfriend, I felt crushed inside. She proposed to him and they became engaged. She talked about having a wonderful wedding on a boat and all starry eyed about it all. I was still crushed. I told her I wasn't going to her wedding.
Anyway, a few months later she decided it was the wrong decision and she didn't want to get married. She was so distraught and didn't know what to do. Because she was the one that proposed it made the whole thing so very hard for her. She cried in front of me asking me what she should do. She told me she had two choices, marry and divorce straight away or cancel the wedding. Either way it would mean her relationship would be over. I told her she would be a lot worse off if she married and divorced.
In the weeks leading up to the wedding day she would text me at like 3am. I imagined correctly she was sitting on her balcony in tears, pouring wine down her throat and wishing the ground would swallow her up. She would text me something like “...everything is f----- and I don’t know what to do.”
I was at her place on wedding day. Her fiancé was there. She was ringing up to cancel the celebrant and other things. Then she went to the bedroom to talk to fiancé. I left. As I drive home her sister calls me. My best friend is distraught. I stopped the car and ask to talk to her. She is inconsolable. Her relationship is over.
During this time we became really, really close. I wanted to be there to support her during this difficult time. Her brothers and sisters and mother was also living with her in at her shared residence with boyfriend. It helped that I was on leave from my job so I was there almost every day for a month. We would go out and do things together with her brother and sisters to keep her mind busy and getting some cheer out of her. She really appreciated that I was there for her. I became close to all of them. Ex moved out.
One night I was her teddy bear in the bedroom to cuddle and hold. Suddenly she kissed me. From the first kiss she said “We’re ruined”. We pashed all night until the morning. No sex. Then for about a month we had sex like rampaging bunnies. Several times we were at it all day/and or night long. It was fantastic. We told each other our feelings and everything. We talked about how crazy it was that we’re making out and how neither of us could ever think we’d end up like this. We both felt on top of the world. And feeling WEIRD.
Month and days later she told me she didn’t want a relationship so soon after her break up which was totally understandable and I agreed. Actually she told me this right from the start but it really match what she said in conversation. We were acting like lovers in public. Holding hands. Kissing etc etc.
Now I got “rebound guy” written all over me.
All her siblings and mum knew we were at it and had no problems with it but at the end of the day all I care is how she feels about it. We said we’d stopped doing it several times but we couldn’t resist.
She is going through some hard times. Her break up and dealing with her alcoholism. She’s also taken responsibility for her 16 y/o sister. She works very hard and has a huge debt. They now live together with another female flatmate.
We promised never to have sex again. She said she doesn’t want a relationship with anyone. Not for a long while. She told me it was a mistake, she was sorry that she hurt me and made me think we had something. I felt hurt of course but I don’t feel anger or resentment because I still love and care for her very much.
We’re still friends but something is definitely broken that can’t be put together. Some days she is quite grumpy at me but only because she’s irritable from work and lack of sleep.
My mind is on a roller coaster of emotions. I told her all this and she suggested we just stopped seeing each other for a while. I’m weening myself off her. I stopped calling her. I’ve hit the gym and running track and starting to look and feel like an elite athlete. It’s still hard filling in the void. Her sister and brother treats me like big brother and wants to hang out with me often. I try to avoid seeing her but we still manage to see or talk to each other some way or another.
We’re not over and we still have our friendship. I just hope that time out will make us come back together stronger again. Everybody is telling me to give her space and time. I don’t want her to think I’ve completely forgotten her. I miss doing the things I did like buy the groceries on occasions, picking her up from work and other appointments. Leaving flowers in the vase on the table every Tuesday. Can I still leave her flowers in the vase while she is at work and come home and see them?
I hope she comes around. I just want my best friend back.
I gave kudos to him because he never seemed bothered that I would come over, pick her up and go out to dinner or the movies. Sometimes he would even say "have a good time guys". We go running, take kickboxing classes, did capoeira together. We were activity buddies. Sometimes I would wonder what was wrong with him. She'd ring me up on new years eve and ask if I wanted to hang out with her because her boyfriend was out with his friends.
I always found her very attractive but the thought never got in my head that I wanted to sleep with her. I remember once we went to the pool and she came out in this two piece bikini. Man. I had to jump in the water quickly because other parts of my body were beyond control! :-)
It never bothered me that she hung out with others guys or that she was pashing her boyfriend in front of me. Or talked about hot guys. She was just my friend. We're very close. She has found a shoulder to cry on on many occasions. We'd talk about so many things. We know each other very well.
When she told me she wanted to marry boyfriend, I felt crushed inside. She proposed to him and they became engaged. She talked about having a wonderful wedding on a boat and all starry eyed about it all. I was still crushed. I told her I wasn't going to her wedding.
Anyway, a few months later she decided it was the wrong decision and she didn't want to get married. She was so distraught and didn't know what to do. Because she was the one that proposed it made the whole thing so very hard for her. She cried in front of me asking me what she should do. She told me she had two choices, marry and divorce straight away or cancel the wedding. Either way it would mean her relationship would be over. I told her she would be a lot worse off if she married and divorced.
In the weeks leading up to the wedding day she would text me at like 3am. I imagined correctly she was sitting on her balcony in tears, pouring wine down her throat and wishing the ground would swallow her up. She would text me something like “...everything is f----- and I don’t know what to do.”
I was at her place on wedding day. Her fiancé was there. She was ringing up to cancel the celebrant and other things. Then she went to the bedroom to talk to fiancé. I left. As I drive home her sister calls me. My best friend is distraught. I stopped the car and ask to talk to her. She is inconsolable. Her relationship is over.
During this time we became really, really close. I wanted to be there to support her during this difficult time. Her brothers and sisters and mother was also living with her in at her shared residence with boyfriend. It helped that I was on leave from my job so I was there almost every day for a month. We would go out and do things together with her brother and sisters to keep her mind busy and getting some cheer out of her. She really appreciated that I was there for her. I became close to all of them. Ex moved out.
One night I was her teddy bear in the bedroom to cuddle and hold. Suddenly she kissed me. From the first kiss she said “We’re ruined”. We pashed all night until the morning. No sex. Then for about a month we had sex like rampaging bunnies. Several times we were at it all day/and or night long. It was fantastic. We told each other our feelings and everything. We talked about how crazy it was that we’re making out and how neither of us could ever think we’d end up like this. We both felt on top of the world. And feeling WEIRD.
Month and days later she told me she didn’t want a relationship so soon after her break up which was totally understandable and I agreed. Actually she told me this right from the start but it really match what she said in conversation. We were acting like lovers in public. Holding hands. Kissing etc etc.
Now I got “rebound guy” written all over me.
All her siblings and mum knew we were at it and had no problems with it but at the end of the day all I care is how she feels about it. We said we’d stopped doing it several times but we couldn’t resist.
She is going through some hard times. Her break up and dealing with her alcoholism. She’s also taken responsibility for her 16 y/o sister. She works very hard and has a huge debt. They now live together with another female flatmate.
We promised never to have sex again. She said she doesn’t want a relationship with anyone. Not for a long while. She told me it was a mistake, she was sorry that she hurt me and made me think we had something. I felt hurt of course but I don’t feel anger or resentment because I still love and care for her very much.
We’re still friends but something is definitely broken that can’t be put together. Some days she is quite grumpy at me but only because she’s irritable from work and lack of sleep.
My mind is on a roller coaster of emotions. I told her all this and she suggested we just stopped seeing each other for a while. I’m weening myself off her. I stopped calling her. I’ve hit the gym and running track and starting to look and feel like an elite athlete. It’s still hard filling in the void. Her sister and brother treats me like big brother and wants to hang out with me often. I try to avoid seeing her but we still manage to see or talk to each other some way or another.
We’re not over and we still have our friendship. I just hope that time out will make us come back together stronger again. Everybody is telling me to give her space and time. I don’t want her to think I’ve completely forgotten her. I miss doing the things I did like buy the groceries on occasions, picking her up from work and other appointments. Leaving flowers in the vase on the table every Tuesday. Can I still leave her flowers in the vase while she is at work and come home and see them?
I hope she comes around. I just want my best friend back.