My ex girlfriend decided to part and ever since she ran to someone else.
I still loved her and I called her on her birthday and to see if she wanted to go for coffee.
I hung out with her will. Afterwords she told me she loves me and isn't over me while dating this other guy who apparently is more in love with her then she is with him. I wanted to see her genuinly and tell her how much she means but the thought of this other guy held me back. I don't want her to be confused and relegate men on her schedule because I don't want her to hurt herself. I know I induced the complications by calling her up but I only wanted to see her because I still love her after 3yrs of us being together. I told the guy to watch himself because she's not as interested with him and she accused me of manipulating her.
So really I want her back but I already interrupted her confusing affair. Is she going to see this guy for long? Im wondering if there's a chance once things calm down that she'll call me up ever and hopefully start fresh. In the mean time I'm trying to get over missing her and moving forward. Can someone help me out

You're the dumpee. The dumpee is always grasping at "get her back" straws. It's totally understandable, but you have to realize that what you get back is the same girl who dumped you in the first place. You are STRIVING for insecurity. I hope you understand that.

Your feelings for her will most likely never go away. But she dumped you and is now almost cheating on her current guy with you, although you did start it. I can't warn you enough that if she comes back... won't you ALWAYS be sweating? Fearful she's going to disappear again? You really want to live that way over "feelings"?

Anyway, moving forward requires you to stop craning your neck to see behind you. Eyes forward. Stop "trying" to get over her, dive into the rest of your life and let the healing happen on its own. You can think of her fondly, no problem with that. Just don't be crippled by the thoughts.

I've been married 23 years and I still remember my first 3 loves very vividly. Always will. They are part of me. I cherish those times and those memories.

You'll never "start fresh" with this girl. That's no possible. But you can start over on your own taking what you learned with/from her into your next relationship and benefit from it.

You might get back with her, but it won't be fresh, hear me now on that.

She did cheat on him with me

[QUOTE=JBeaucaire]You're the dumpee. The dumpee is always grasping at "get her back" straws. It's totally understandable, but you have to realize that what you get back is the same girl who dumped you in the first place. You are STRIVING for insecurity.QUOTE]

Striving for insecurity! I like that and it sums me up to a tea. Thanks.

I agree with JB.
BUT... to be the nice guy here, if you really want her back, this new relationship is probably just a rebound relationship. Chances are it won't last soon, I mean, she is already basically cheating on him. She will be single again soon...

But I can't stress enough that you should move on... You will never 'start over' and begin like new. It proably won't work between you two. She lacks comitment to you, so I think you are better going to go somewhere else. Will you be able to trust her again? Next time she goes out, you'll be asking questions, and worrying the whole time. You won't be able to trust her. Its not worth it, and although you love her, she has lost your trust. Sorry to be blunt about it, but it has to be said. Move on, and good luck.

I told the guy to watch himself because she's not as interested with him and she accused me of manipulating her.


She is probably glad she broke up with you as your showing her a totally new side of yourself. Leave her alone as you've made her a cheater now and shown you will take whatever crumbs she throws you. Come on guy, save some dignity for yourself, and move ahead with your life.