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View Full Version : Should we settle when looking for that love?


packer04
Jun 2, 2008, 12:31 AM
I was with a man for 7 months, broke it off.(he was a sex addict-into everything,group,swing,men,women,shemales,on the net looking for strangers,porn,etc)I finally broke it off with him. I never got into his lifestyle, he tried to get me to, but I could not and wouldn't, but the final straw was he wanted little girls and that was it with me. I have felt sadness since then and cried everynite as I miss him very much. We talked a lot ont the phone, did things, had a lot in comman other than that-big red flag I guess. Some of my friends say I should have just looked the other way and settled for him as I am not getting any younger(48) and there aren't the men out there. So now I am having second thoughts on this but I feel he is wrong for me, but my heart says maybe not. I have not contacted him and I hope there is someone that just wants me out there. I should hope my friends are wrong. So what does everyone out there think?

ChihuahuaMomma
Jun 2, 2008, 12:48 AM
I think he is a waste of a person if he actually seriously considers having sex with children. And honestly you should alert SOMEONE that this man is having serious thoughts of this. He is an even bigger waste of your life. Don't waste another second on him. You are too good for that mess. With all that said, you are 48. You are not old, by ANY means. NONE of us are getting any younger. But as they say, you're like a fine wine, only getting better with age. You will find someone that is everything you've ever wanted and more, and treat you like the queen you are. The best way to find something is to stop looking for it.

I'm also not too fond of your friends either, they don't sound like very good people if they are telling you to settle. Um, that's probably the #1 cause for divorce. And they are suggesting you settle for someone that is a mental pedophile. Screw that. They aren't any better for you than he is, in my opinion.

Also, if he is into things sexually that you are not that's one thing, but trying to force you to do things sexually that you are not comfortable with is not good, and a really bad thing for your relationship.

Don't settle for this jerk. Focus on the things most important to you and the right man will come along! Good luck Packer04.

DoulaLC
Jun 2, 2008, 02:24 AM
Never overlook a Big Red Flag! Don't sell yourself short... there are plenty of men out there. Odds are some of your friends settled and now they regret it, so they are more than happy to have you join them.

talaniman
Jun 2, 2008, 07:05 AM
I have felt sadness since then and cried everynite as I miss him very much.
Your pining for a freaky deaky, who wants to be a pedophile? That is just to desperate. Get a life please that makes you happy, so you don't have to desperately accept any male who says hi, to you.

Even if he was the last man on earth, he is not what you want.

ISneezeFunny
Jun 2, 2008, 07:19 AM
If he doesn't take out the trash, then fine... look the other way and settle.

... if he wants little girls in bed, along with other men and a midget with a leather whip... and that's not your thing, then... I suggest you find someone else.

starlite1
Jun 2, 2008, 07:26 AM
Hi Packer,

Please, PLEASE don't settle for this man. You can do so much better. And 48 is not old at all... You can find someone who will cherish you, who loves you for you... and won't try and change you in anyway... including participating sexually in ways that you are not in to. Please take some time for yourself, don't have any contact with him, and then when you are ready, go out and meet someone nice... someone who will treat you great... as you deserve to be treated great!!

damaged
Jun 2, 2008, 07:35 AM
Please don't walk away... RUN AWAY from this guy... you shouldn't settle for anybody just because your 48.. and he's sick, thinking about having sex with children?. He must be mentally ill.. you don't need this kind of crap in your life... and have you thought about the fact that due to his sex addiction he could give you a disease or something?. This is not right and you know it... stay away from him... & sorry to say but you have sucky friends!. Go out and meet new people.. maybe you find a nice(normal) guy...
Best of Luck!

vonbur
Jun 2, 2008, 10:30 AM
Are you kidding me? Here is a guy that looking for other people to do besides you. It is obvious that he doesn't want a relationship. And on top of that, sounds like he does any and everybody including children. Honey, please stop crying over this weirdo. Please have respect for yourself and distance yourself from this out of control person. Also, you need to get yourself tested for STDs. If this person is a wants to have sex with children, please do us all a favor and turn his a** in to the police because he is a bomb waiting to explode.

mafiaangel180
Jun 2, 2008, 11:45 AM
Just because your growing older you think you should succumb to guys who want to rape children? You think you can't get better? Wow... I guess it's time to take a look at yourself and your own self esteem.

epiphany
Jun 2, 2008, 12:02 PM
So everything was great except the big red flags?
There is nothing worse then the elephant in the room and judging by what you have spoken about here the guy you had not only had plenty "elephants" he wanted to have sex with them all too.

You deserve a man who is into you and you only. Age has nothing to do with it, why would anyone settle for anything less then a healthy, loving, quality relationship with someone. Age, creed, color, etc.. has nothing to do with it, NEVER settle for less then you deserve and this man was at the bottom rung of the ladder my dear lady.

JBeaucaire
Jun 2, 2008, 12:06 PM
Since your story indicates you have already acted properly, I'll simply congratulate you. Well done.

Settling is, of course, necessary in the real world. You wisely realized this didn't apply to the issues you were observing. Good for you.

brkfstatiffs
Jun 2, 2008, 01:36 PM
I was with a man for 7 months, broke it off.(he was a sex addict-into everything,group,swing,men,women,shemales,on the net looking for strangers,porn,etc)I finally broke it off with him. I never got into his lifestyle, he tried to get me to, but I could not and wouldn't, but the final straw was he wanted little girls and that was it with me. I have felt sadness since then and cried everynite as I miss him very much. We talked a lot ont the phone, did things, had a lot in comman other than that-big red flag I guess. Some of my friends say I should have just looked the other way and settled for him as I am not getting any younger(48) and ther aren't the men out there. So now I am having second thoughts on this but I feel he is wrong for me, but my heart says maybe not. I have not contacted him and I hope there is someone that just wants me out there. I should hope my friends are wrong. So waht does everyone out there think?
ALWAYS listen to your heart and gut. A women's intuition is stronger then any emotions that may be taking over your mind. He doesn't seem like he brings much to the table. Move on, you deserve much better and shouldn't have to settle for anything you don't feel comfortable with.