My girlfriend of one year and five month relationship dumped me. She said she doesn't love me anymore and it freaking sucks. After all this time, I question myself why was I so faithful to her? I could have cheated on her with other friends but I did not. I cajoled with her a bit to find out, but she says she doesn't have the feelings anymore. Right now, I'm just out of my head and still up. I can't sleep, think, concentrate, eat etc.

What she said afterwards was that we should be friends and date later on.

I don't know what the heck I should do =/

Please, don't say "get over it" cause that does not help.
Give good examples and such.

If you want examples, this webpage is full of them. Just check out any of the posts on the main page.

I'm not going to tell you to get over it, but you need to know that you need to move on. She told you that she doesn't have feelings for you anymore, so don't fall into the trap of trying to get her back. That doesn't work, and will probably hold you back.

Being friends with her later on is fine, as long as you and her both go through enough changes so that neither of you are the same people. You both need to understand that you cannot be friends when either of you still has feelings for the other. Then, and only then, feelings may develop and you may date again later on in life.

Regardless, you need to move forward with the assumption that you won't be dating again. If you can't do this, then you will most certainly not be able to talk with her again, let alone move on and be healthy.

Get over it.. easier said than done right?. I know... but like bigBird said you need to move on.. Ur ex GF told you she didn't love you anymore.. listen to what she said and let her go.. If you don't do this now, you will keep hurting.. maybe later on you guys can be friends or even date again, but don't count on that... Just accept there's nothing you could do to make her change her mind and move forward w/out looking back.. it will be hard but it's the best thing to do...

When my boyfriend broke up with me I couldn't accept his decision and kept asking why... his words " i lost what i felt for you, i don't love you anymore"... When he said that to me, I wanted to die ,but I understood there was nothing else I could do, so I let him go... It has been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but Im still here.. It hurts but you will make it!.

When my boyfriend broke up with me i couldnt accept his decision and kept asking why...his words " i lost what i felt for you, i don't love you anymore"...When he said that to me, i wanted to die ,but i understood there was nothing else i could do, so i let him go...It has been the hardest thing i've ever done in my life

Its hard to hear the things people say, but at the same time you need to rationally think about it and understand that they are doing the best thing possible for you. Would you rather them hide the feelings, lie to you, then find out someday down the road that they cheated on you?

A common thing I hear people say is that "I wish he/she cheated on me so it would just be easier to get over them." WRONG! Now it hasn't happened to me, but the thought of them being with someone else turns people into piles of mush -- so knowing, for sure, that they cheated on you can NOT be helpful.

Let it go, move on, be happy. You won't believe how good you feel once you start looking inside yourself and recognizing the changes that are going on. Just expect an up and down ride.

Getting dumped is hard and everyone ha gotten dumped one time in their life. It oblivious that she did not deserve you. Sometimes I wish there was a cure for heartache-magical. But don't drown in it it will be hard @ least for the 1st month, but in due time will heal.

On thing you can do is look in mirror and say outloub that you don't need her and its her lost. You might have a girlfriend anymore but again it her lost and somebody else's gain

When you dumped you go through denial(but it don't seem to be the case here), anger, depression(feeling sad and), then finally acceptance.

You seem to be on the right track by relizing you did nothing wrong. Play video games, hang out with friend, volunteer somewhere, just whatever you do keep busy and stay strong and choke this up as an life experience, but try not to stay home. Oneday your meet girl that will cherish you so don't think all girls are like your ex.

Don't think about her and what she is up to think about you and what you are now going to be up to!!

Basically she has made her decision and you must respect that and forget her, don't ever regret being faithful as if you start being a cheat you'll never have a nice relationship.

Think positive and concentrate on your life not hers!! I've felt how you do many a time and I've always pulled through, give yourself some time and take you mind off it and get involved in things to take you mind off it, I can recommend martial arts and weight training, you'll get fitter look better and meet someone new before you know it! At the moment you are sinking in a black hole and only you can pull yourself out, that relationship has passed and you've had that experience now you are going to have loads more experiences and its going to be great!! If you think about it its quite exciting you are going to be able to meet loads of other fit girls and have a great time,

You have a simple choice - sink into depression for a dead cause or pull yourself together and improve yourself and enjoy your life!! I know its hard but its really that straight forward in your case!!

Good luck mate

My girlfriend of one year and five month relationship dumped me. She said she doesn't love me anymore and it freaking sucks. After all this time, I question myself why was I so faithful to her? I could have cheated on her with other friends but I did not. I cajoled with her a bit to find out, but she says she doesn't have the feelings anymore. Right now, I'm just out of my head and still up. I can't sleep, think, concentrate, eat etc.

What she said afterwards was that we should be friends and date later on.

I don't know what the heck I should do =/

Please, don't say "get over it" cause that does not help.
Give good examples and such.
All good answers have come before me but I'm sure my two cents are appreciated.

Just get your mind off her, I am sure that just about everything you do reminds you of her but thinking about her is not going to help you. What is going to help you is finding things to do, making new friends, starting a new hobby, enjoying something new. Something fresh, so fresh that you can smell how fresh it is!

Only you can make the decision, we can't make it for you.

-Sik

p.s.- Not eating only makes you feel like crap. I suggest getting something small, a bag of chips or something of the like, and go from there. You will feel a lot better and you'll be able to clear your mind, which will only help yourself even more.

Thank you guys~

She says she wants to be friends, but she doesn't want to visit me..

I'm like "... how is this friendship if you're not wanting to visit your friend..?"

For some reason, I have dreams about her still.. I try not to think, but I'm lacking sleep with the situation. I don't know why it's hard for me to get over her =/


On the side note, I've talked with my parents and ex-girlfriend about joining the Army. All of them agreed, but my ex was worried about me getting shipped out. Thinking about it, I really don't know what to do with my life. I want to be in mental health field and a military career; street-racing and car-tuning as my hobbies...

I feel so empty D;

She probulary just said she wants to be friends just to say it but didn't mean it, so why do you care. You need to let go and being friends will not cure your heart but only give you false hope and open up all the pain that your trying to get over.

Take this time to do something that you want like go back to school or your hobbies you like to do except execpt street racing, it is dangeeous and at times deadly. Stop worrying about her and stop accepting the fact that's its over so you can heal

What you feel is natural and normal and all humans go through it, but since your in the middle of it, all you feel is pain. For sure you will have to man up and get over it, whether you want to hear it or not, or you run the risk of drowning in your own shat!

Click on the links in my signature, and get some insights, and suggestions, as to how to best cope with your situation. We are here to clarify any questions you have.

In the meantime give her what she asks for, and leave her alone, and dissappear from her life, until you can get yours together.

Believe me when I say you WILL get over this hurt, though you will probably always care for her deeply.

I wanted to comment about your asking:

After all this time, I question myself why was I so faithful to her? I could have cheated on her with other friends but I did not.
You need to keep your character and hers separate in your mind. You don't treat your girlfriends well because they treat you well, you treat them well because you are a great guy!

Faithfulness and commitment are character traits you should be proud of. You did not waste a single moment with her. The good you do in life for the sole benefit of another person is its own reward.

There are so many men who never learn this. You're already ahead of the game.

Someday you will find a girl who gives to you unconditionally the way you give when you're with a girl. Don't stop giving! And try not to get down on yourself when things end, MOST relationships end. It's OK. It hurts, but you're doing great!

If you are trying to learn anything from your time with this girl, make sure it's NOT to be less faithful next time. You keep being the awesome you that makes everyone who ever gets close to him glad they did.

Hey, stay away from her don't worry about her being your friends, don't you have friends?

You got played by her you didn't play her!

I dreamed about my ex's and so what, its just a dream, but we don't live in dreams we live in reality so face it.

Go throw some cold water on your face or pince yourself, your see she gone. Be happy that she gone and someone else headache and she get what coming to her, cause "karma" will get her.

Be like Tupac and keep your head up.

*sigh*

I got the phone with my mom since she has been a doctor for over 28 years and very spiritual. We talked for a bit and she said to give myself some space.

@ alwaystrue:

that is what my mom said... except the first part of throwing water at myself or pinching..


Believe me when I say you WILL get over this hurt, though you will probably always care for her deeply.

I wanted to comment about your asking:

You need to keep your character and hers separate in your mind. You don't treat your girlfriends well because they treat you well, you treat them well because you are a great guy!

Faithfulness and commitment are character traits you should be proud of. You did not waste a single moment with her. The good you do in life for the sole benefit of another person is its own reward.

There are so many men who never learn this. You're already ahead of the game.

Someday you will find a girl who gives to you unconditionally the way you give when you're with a girl. Don't stop giving! And try not to get down on yourself when things end, MOST relationships end. It's OK. It hurts, but you're doing great!

If you are trying to learn anything from your time with this girl, make sure it's NOT to be less faithful next time. You keep being the awesome you that makes everyone who ever gets close to him glad they did.


I was talking to a friend of mine and she said that my quality as a guy is what most girls would want. I said "well, no girls have asked me out except my ex.."

my mom said I should give some time to myself...


Yay!! I'm finally graduating from High School! May 30th is the date if you're wondering. Life has been good to me lately, except for a few issues with some friends. I'm finally 18, a legal adult. Grad Bash and Prom was AWESOME!! And I'm moving to San Francisco, CA to pursue my BFA in Computer Animation. I'm going to MetroCon in July and enjoy my whole summer before college.


that's what she says in her profile... I am suspecting something =/

It seems she is upset with something or else she isn't feeling comfortable with you. Every successful relationship is based on friendship. Try to know her likes and dislikes just by being her friend. Be at her side when she need you the most. Win her trust. Make her feel that no matter what, you will be by her side always. Be her best friend. I know this is tough but love makes everything easier. You can send her best friends day cards (http://www.123greetings.com/events/best_friends_day/hugs/) on coming 8th June, along with a gift as a token of friendship and love.

I'm going to MetroCon in July and enjoy my whole summer before college.
Now that explains a few things.

Someday you will find a girl who gives to you unconditionally the way you give when you're with a girl.

Yeah,right... When hell freezes.

I'm thinking more and morenow that becoming a total @$$hole IS the way to go.

I'm certainly going to give it a try.The other guy gets screwed EVERY time.

Yeah,right...When hell freezes.

I'm thinking more and morenow that becoming a total @$$hole IS the way to go.

I'm certainly gonna give it a try.The other guy gets screwed EVERY time.

I disagree. It has a lot to do with the women you get involved in.

Being an @$$hole isn't the way to go, but there is a fine line between being a nice guy and being a pushover. Nice guy = good, weak man = bad.

At the same time, there is a fine line between standing up for yourself and being independent, and crossing the line into being a dead beat boyfriend.

I disagree. It has a lot to do with the women you get involved in.

Being an @$$hole isn't the way to go, but there is a fine line between being a nice guy and being a pushover. Nice guy = good, weak man = bad.

At the same time, there is a fine line between standing up for yourself and being independent, and crossing the line into being a dead beat boyfriend.

Hmmm...

I'm feeling for you lad,I've been there.You just need one more slap in your face to really get it through your skin.Ask yourself one question-truthfully : would you rather be them or you right now?


You're still thinking about them.I'm thinking about me.Starting to,anyway.You see,when you are the @$$hole,you just don't care.Nothing can touch you.Which is,going from here (this losers little place where we feel sorry for our pathetic selves) to there (blissful apathy and oblivion).PROGRESS.I used to believe that that wasn't cool.But I was just too naïve,romantic and young.No more of that.I've learned my lesson.

I'm sorry, but I still disagree. Maybe your definition of an a-hole is different than mine.

I see no joy, or gain, in being the guy making your girlfriend cry. Treating her like dirt and turning the situation around. I have no desire to have a controlling grip on a girl so that she will never leave. In my mind, an ahole is the guy who doesn't call, blows her off, and could care less what happens with the relationship. An ahole is the guy who will find a girl to sleep with 2 days after the breakup. That's my definition.

Maybe our definitions vary, but I don't wish to be that guy, nor will I ever.

EDIT: I agree that you need to think about yourself. Where I disagree is that you need to be an to think about yourself. A little selfish? Maybe, but it's not even that. More like self-sufficient.

I'm all lost... we're talking about a--holes?

Now that explains a few things.


I was thinking of that too.. =/

Well, I called her to congratulate her on finishing high school and we discussed the issue. It turns out that SHE LIED TO ME about moving 2hrs away from my university; instead, she's taking her courses online at her place. Not to mention, she kept on saying "I don't love you anymore" which is a lie since there's the missing link between the relationship and her life...

~

I feel like sh1t

She told you she didn't love you anymore.

Why would she lie about that? I think you are better off not talking to her and staying away from anything that has to do with her life. You should work getting healthier and learning to be happy by yourself.

I know its hard, but it is the best way.

She told you she didn't love you anymore.

Why would she lie about that? I think you are better off not talking to her and staying away from anything that has to do with her life. You should work getting healthier and learning to be happy by yourself.

I know its hard, but it is the best way.

I think you're mixing the two ideas. I know she does not love me anymore, but SHE LIED THAT SHE WAS GOING TO MOVE 2HRS AWAY FROM MY UNIV....

Anyways, I called her mom and thanked her for letting me date her daughter.
It was really hard to talk with her mom because I took her daughters' virginity even though they do not believe in premarital sex....

Not to be mean but you got to face the music man...


I know its not fun and not what you want to hear, I'm sure...

But face it head on and you'll get through it faster than if you just wallow in the past..

-Sik

not to be mean but you gotta face the music man...


i know its not fun and not what you want to hear, im sure...

but face it head on and you'll get through it faster than if you just wallow in the past..

-Sik

This is why I'm thinking of getting a psychology & human development degree... look for grad school...

I'll also enlist in the Army for a military career..

street race/drift as my hobby

This is why I'm thinking of getting a psychology & human development degree... look for grad school...

I'll also enlist in the Army for a military career..

street race/drift as my hobby


Good I am glad you have found your path...

Now just stick to it and you're set.

:)

-Sik

Good I am glad you have found your path...

now just stick to it and youre set.

:)

-Sik

Haha~ thanks~

I just feel down since I got dumped..
when ever I see couples holding hands, hugging, kissing, and such.. I feel like sh1t

Haha~ thanks~

I just feel down since I got dumped..
when ever I see couples holding hands, hugging, kissing, and such.. I feel like sh1t




Just look forward hjpan. You'll forget all this when you are happy with someone.

-Sik

Just look forward hjpan. you'll forget all this when you are happy with someone.

-Sik

Sometimes I want to force myself to have sex with random girls at parties...

I really don't think having sex with random girls will heal your heart. It will just be releasing stress at that moment, but when its over the heartache will still be there.

You need to work on healing yourself from the inside. Everryone has experience some heartache in their life but it only makes you stronger after you heal, also rebound relationships are sometimes doom toward failare because your still hurting and first need to get over your ex before you can give yourself to that next person and it won't be fair to that girl to get half of you instead of your all.
This is the time not to beat on yourself because you did nothing wrong. Stop focusing on her and what she doing and where she going and move on. It easier said then done but I gotten dump in the past or left guys that was not on the same page as me and it hurt and it was hard for me to move on but I learned what don't kill you only makes you stronger. People have gone through worst breakups then your and survive, so don't live in the past but for tomorrow. Tomorrow a new day with new lessons to be learned and when the time is right your meet your match because she was not meet for you and didn't want the things you wanted so forget about her and focus on you. Believe me your meet someone else down the line but first you have to get over her so when you meet her your heart and mind will be ready.

I really dont think having sex with random girls will heal your heart. It will just be releasing stress at that moment, but when its over the heartache will still be there.

You need to work on healing yourself from the inside. Everryone has experience some heartache in their life but it only makes you stronger after you heal, also rebound relationships are sometimes doom toward failare because your still hurting and first need to get over your ex before you can give yourself to that next person and it wont be fair to that girl to get half of you instead of your all.
This is the time not to beat on yourself because you did nothing wrong. Stop focusing on her and what she doing and where she going and move on. It easier said then done but I gotten dump in the past or left guys that was not on the same page as me and it hurt and it was hard for me to move on but I learned what dont kill you only makes you stronger. People have gone through worst breakups then your and survive, so dont live in the past but for tomorrow. Tomorrow a new day with new lessons to be learned and when the time is right your meet your match because she was not meet for you and didnt want the things you wanted so forget about her and focus on you. Belive me your meet someone else down the line but first you have to get over her so when you meet her your heart and mind will be ready.

I just feel so strained. All my buddies encouraged me to just sex it up with other girls, but I felt uneasy with everything.

I understand the idea of what does not kill me makes me stronger =]~
it's just one year five months of time has been wasted, but I've been told it's a good experience for myself.

Thank you for your encouragement. I need much encouraging & motivation

It was only a waste if you didn't enjoy it or learned nothing.

Time to move on!

Everyone feel that way after being someone for sometime. I was with someone for 5 years when the relationship ended, can u even think of how I felt. People get divorce after being married for 10years or more and you can even gather how they coped.

So look at it like this yes 1+ years is long but image it was longer, so be happy you didn't invent more time and it ended when it did.

It just like when a baby learns to walk, they fall dust it off and try again because their determine.

@ talaniman: I'm trying to cope..

@liz28: true =O

Sometimes I want to call her, but I persist on not doing so..

Her mom wants me to privately talk since she likes me a lot =/

damn it..

I can't get my ex out of my head~

Congrats to staying faithful to her even though you could have been different. This shows what type of person you are and in the future relationship you come into, continue to be the person you are and be faithful. Someday you will find the right one, and when you do you want to have been faithful to her. Trust is a big issue and sounds like you can be trusted. You sound like you are a strong person. Keep your head lifted and keep smiling. You are going through a rough patch but smoother roads lie ahead.

You're using the wrong set of words. Never say you"cant", because you can.

Your mind is playing tricks on you. Stop talking to her mother for the time being because it will only make you remember the past.

Visualize life without her not with. When she is in your head force your mind to push her out.

If you keep continue the way your going, it will lead to depression. Part of get over someone is realizing the relatinship is over and then take it a day at a time.

How long has it been now? Your mother, friends, and people on here gave you some good advice, so use it, if you truly want to get over her.

You're using the wrong set of words. Never say you"cant", because you can.

Your mind is playing tricks on you. Stop talking to her mother for the time being because it will only make you remember the past.

Visualize life without her not with. When she is in your head force your mind to push her out.

If you keep continue the way your going, it will lead to depression. Part of get over someone is realizing the relatinship is over and then take it a day at a time.

How long has it been now? Your mother, friends, and people on here gave you some good advice, so use it, if you truly want to get over her.

Thanks~ I am doing my best to avoid contact with her.

Congrats to staying faithful to her even though you could have been different. This shows what type of person you are and in the future relationship you come into, continue to be the person you are and be faithful. Someday you will find the right one, and when you do you want to have been faithful to her. Trust is a big issue and sounds like you can be trusted. You sound like you are a strong person. Keep your head lifted and keep smiling. You are going through a rough patch but smoother roads lie ahead.

I do not understand why but all my friends, both males and females, tell me that I am the perfect guy for a lot of girls.. =/

But, I have only had one serious relationship and this is it.

But, I have only had one serious relationship and this is it.

If you get busy, and be proactive in your healing, you can change that. Don't mean to be harsh, but you get nowhere in life waiting for it to happen. You have to get off your butt, and adjust your life to living without her, and regroup. When she sneaks in your head, get up and do something to change your focus. Its about the ACTION you take on your own behalf.
And for gosh sakes, why are you talking to HER mother? Not a good idea at all.

Life is not over and you will have more relationship, some will come to a end and some or one will last.

When you become involve with someone there no guarantee it will last. If it don't you reflect back on it and think and say"oh well her lost".

When your with someone look at actions whether words, think with your mind whether than your heart, things you have common goals they want to achieve, always follow your instincts.

So take a class like karate, to help relief some on the stress. It will also help you think with a clearer mind. Again what don't kill you makes you stronger. Also, delete any text/voice messages you have from her, pictures as well, you don't need reminders. If she have anything at your house, as simple as a shirt throw it away.

Thank you all.

I will get more help =]

any more ideas :)?

I talked to my sister and she said to give my ex space & time. No contact or communication at all.

That's good.
Reread your own thread and you will see some helpful tips that you might have previously overlooked.

-Sik

That's good.
Reread your own thread and you will see some helpful tips that you might have previously overlooked.

-Sik

Thank you :)

I also just got off the phone with my mom; her best friend is a shaman so I asked my mom to ask her best friend the situation.

It's pretty confidential, but it has something to do with my karma :O

Sik, thank you for your help~ I'll keep updating the situation :)

I talked to my sister and she said to give my ex space & time. No contact or communication at all.



PLEASE do this.

Just don't do this hoping to win her back. It Won't work.

PLEASE do this.

Just don't do this hoping to win her back. It WONT work.

Ok..

How long did it take to cope the situation for those who were in my position...?

That depends on how well you apply yourself and how bad you want to move on.
Those that can accept what has happened, and are through mourning, can move on quite fast. The whole thing is what you do to cope with your own feelings. That's where many get stuck for so long.
Learn what to do with yourself in these situations and you will learn a valuable life lesson.

Learn what to do with yourself in these situations and you will learn a valuable life lesson.


Vague..

You need to live by your own signature because Arthea Franklin saids it best. Stick to the words of the song and let that song be your motto.

Everyone is different and it mostly depends on that person mind set. Once you accept that its over you can get over it with patience.

Vague..

The answer to this has been given over and over in this thread and others. You need to understand what happened, accept the breakup occurred, and know what your part in it was. You then need to get busy, move on, and try to see life beyond that person.

The four stickies at the top of the main page have TONs of suggestions and guidance on all of this. In fact, I believe there is one called "What to do after a breakup..."

Originally Posted by talaniman
Learn what to do with yourself in these situations and you will learn a valuable life lesson.

In knowing yourself its much easier to know how to act, and react, to what life throws at you. Knowing yourself, makes it much easier to make a decision for yourself, and what you want, and need, which are two different things, and what right and wrong for you. Knowing yourself, allows you to grow, be happy and healthy, and confident.

As you learn more you grow more.:cool:

Thank you all =]

Anyone know tips to get my life pattern back on again?
I sleep less than 6 hours or I sleep and wake up every two to four hours..
I eat really little; stopped eating for two days minimum.
My focus is out of range =/

Maybe instead of trying to get your pattern back you should work at creating a new pattern. Having a new pattern will allow you to feel as if your life is taking a large turn, for the better. If you remove the regular patterns from your life, you won't miss (as much) the other parts of your pattern, like her.

Maybe instead of trying to get your pattern back you should work at creating a new pattern. Having a new pattern will allow you to feel as if your life is taking a large turn, for the better. If you remove the regular patterns from your life, you won't miss (as much) the other parts of your pattern, like her.

Oh :O~

Good songs to cope..?

I've got TONS... what kind of music you listen to?

I've got TONS....what kind of music you listen to?



Techno/trance
Disco
little bit of rap
rock

We'll I don't listen to most of that, rock is probably the only thing on there I can help you with, but it really depends on your mood. But here are a few songs (angry-ish, not the sad, feel sorry for myself kind)

-Crossfade - So Far Away
-Breaking Benjamin - Had Enough
-Fuel - Last Time
-3 Doors Down - Going Down in Flames

That's a few for now, if your looking for anything else let me know.

I hope some of those help you. They always inspired a little bit of anger/determination in me, which is great for getting into NC...

Thanks

Does having sex with random girls at parties get my ex off my mind?

All my guy-friends are like "dude! you need to go out to parties & effe girls!"

My girlfriend of one year and five month relationship dumped me. She said she doesn't love me anymore and it freaking sucks. After all this time, I question myself why was I so faithful to her? I could have cheated on her with other friends but I did not. I cajoled with her a bit to find out, but she says she doesn't have the feelings anymore. Right now, I'm just out of my head and still up. I can't sleep, think, concentrate, eat etc.

What she said afterwards was that we should be friends and date later on.

I don't know what the heck I should do =/

Please, don't say "get over it" cause that does not help.
Give good examples and such.
Stop thinking about so much. And if she did say yous want to date later you should have just rejected her because what if u guys go out again and the same thing happens over. You'll be even more fustrated and out of your mind!

Does having sex with random girls at parties get my ex off my mind?

All my guy-friends are like "dude! you need to go out to parties & effe girls!"

Can't tell you I have experience myself, as I don't think it would help me but - If you look around at some of the stories others have posted here, it doesn't appear to help. It might take your mind off it for the moment, but it certainly won't help you cope with the loss any...

I imagine doing this would probably make you miss the intimacy you shared with your ex - my main reason for staying away from it.

Can't tell you I have experience myself, as I don't think it would help me but - If you look around at some of the stories others have posted here, it doesn't appear to help. It might take your mind off of it for the moment, but it certainly won't help you cope with the loss any...

I imagine doing this would probably make you miss the intimacy you shared with your ex - my main reason for staying away from it.


Well there is a famous quote "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone new" . Basically it means just what your friends are saying.

It all depends what your outlook is, personally I've wasted a lot of my life wallowing in self pity and being depressed after break ups and it really doesn't do any good, you need to force yourself to get out and pick yourself up and move on.

Live by the golden rule 'They only get one chance! ' makes your life a lot easier, otherwise you sit there thinking ,will she come back ? Or Is there hope for us? When you should be thinking 'She had her chance!! ' I'm not wasting another minute of my life even thinking about her'!!

Just remember the only person that holds you back is yourself!!

Go out with your mates and meet some new girls, you'll be surprised there are millions of lovely girls out there, you'll meet a new one like I did and think whyever did you waste all this time!!

Go out with your mates and meet some new girls, you'll be surprised there are millions of lovely girls out there, you'll meet a new one like I did and think whyever did you waste all this time!!

Hindsight is 20/20, but your so right, there are a lot of females out there, so healing PDQ, is the way to go.

I agree... meeting new people is exciting.. lol.. you may find someone you're really attracted to or some new good friends... and about the sex part.. idk, it may work for you.. I think it's just a "quick fix", you may forget your ex for that moment but maybe then you'll miss her more... but we're all different.. maybe it works for you... if its something you would like to try, then go for it.. :)

Sex with random girls is a panacea. It will distract you while you're doing it, but afterward you're right where you left off.

You need to SERIOUSLY date other girls. Random sex means pointless interaction with women, the exact OPPOSITE of what you need for your mind.

Just my take on it.

============
Side note: Random sex with random girls can always lead to random babies... something else I assume you don't need right now.

stop thinking about so much. and if she did say yous wanna date later you should of just rejected her because what if u guys go out again and the same thing happens over. you'll be even more fustrated and out of your mind!


I understand.

Sex with random girls is a panacea. It will distract you while you're doing it, but afterward you're right where you left off.

You need to SERIOUSLY date other girls. Random sex means pointless interaction with women, the exact OPPOSITE of what you need for your mind.

Just my take on it.

============
Side note: Random sex with random girls can always lead to random babies...something else I assume you don't need right now.

Oh...

Hindsight is 20/20, but your so right, there are a lot of females out there, so healing PDQ, is the way to go.

PDQ?

PDQ- old school saying for;
Pretty
Darn
Quick

PDQ- old school saying for;
Pretty
Darn
Quick

Oh :eek:

Yea I agree, random sex is never a good idea. It won't help you get over them will only create more problems and make you feel lonely after it's over

Yea I agree, random sex is never a good idea. It won't help you get over them will only create more problems and make you feel lonely after it's over

Ok...

Anyways..

I called up my recruiter for the Army and asked for more info on training and so forth. I told him that my girlfriend left and I decided to join for sure, but I needed to plan out my time so I know when I am available for training, which takes about 9 to 11 weeks.

Dude, seriously... You posted the question, I just was reading the other posts and agreed so you give the attitude. Next time I'll just bypass one of your questions. Thanks for serving the military though

Dude, seriously...You posted the question, I just was reading the other posts and agreed so you give the attitude. Next time I'll just bypass one of your questions. Thanks for serving the military though

?

The way your response was quoting me and then saying OK... Anyways, just came off rude to me. I apologize if I misread your post and took it the wrong way.

The way your response was quoting me and then saying ok....Anyways, just came off rude to me. I apologize if I misread your post and took it the wrong way.


Oh no!! I don't mean to be rude or anything.

When I mean "Ok..." was all my guy-friends were suggesting to effe some random girls and you said not to, so I'm taking your advise.

To me, I did not want to effe some random girls but I could not think of any reasons besides STDs and HIV/AIDs

Ha, my friends told me the same thing after me n my ex broke up.. Thankfully I didn't listen to them. Women don't like manwh*res

Ok,I'll be real,your girlfriend just needed time.If she didn't love you then why the heck your relationship lasted to damn long!And plus she said that you guys can still be friends and probably in the future you guys cab get together.Right now she needs you the most thats why she dumped you all of a sudden,she might have been caught up in some sort of promlem.Just hang on and wait for her.:D Tell me if anything works out the the future.:DDON'T GIVE UP!

What you are going through is exactly what I am going through... we were friends for almost 7 8 yrs and we entered into a relationship about an yr ago... then she all of a sudden wanted to break up and wanted to stay with me as a friend about 6 months ago... since it was the time of exams I didn't want her to break her head over this issue so I agreed and she said we ll be friends... I agreed to it... but trust me it only filled my head and heart with false hope that she ll come back... I kept on thinking that she ll come back to me and kept on thinking until 2 months ago... I got really frustrated and asked her when we are getting together... that was it... after that she has not spoken to me and she's going after another guy... she dumped me without giving me a reason... when we broke up 6 months ago she didn't give a reason as to why she's breaking up more or less she told she's not got the feelings for me...

For two months now I have been in heart break... same as your situation... not able to eat not able to sleep and sleeping when I get her thoughts... not able to go out not able to concentrate on my studies(the next week my exams are there and I have not even opened the books)... and she's there in my dreams EVERYDAY...

My suggestion is just move on... she's giving you a false hope possibly to just make you feel better by saying that we ll be friends


Make a wise decision and move on buddy...

I know its very difficult because even I am going through the same thing... its easier said that done... but the final truth is you have to move on... even I'm in the same situation as you are... even I am not able to move on but I know that's the way

We just have to accept it and that day when we accept it... we ll move on... even I'm not able to accept it ( all those dreams you built for her , all those intimate moments you have for her everything hurts so much... trust me buddy its hard as hell... am going through the same thing )... just got to accept it and move on...

What you are going thru is exactly what i am going thru...we were friends for almost 7 8 yrs and we entered into a relationship about an yr ago...then she all of a sudden wanted to break up and wanted to stay with me as a friend about 6 months ago...since it was the time of exams i dint want her to break her head over this issue so i agreed and she said we ll be friends...i agreed to it.....but trust me it only filled my head and heart with false hope that she ll come back....i kept on thinking that she ll come back to me and kept on thinking until 2 months ago....i got really frustrated and asked her when we are getting together ... that was it ...after that she has not spoken to me and she's goin after another guy.....she dumped me without giving me a reason....when we broke up 6 months ago she dint give a reason as to why she's breaking up more or less she told she's not got the feelings for me.....

for two months now i have been in heart break .... same as your situation....not able to eat not able to sleep and sleeping when i get her thoughts ..... not able to go out not able to concentrate on my studies(the next week my exams are there and i have not even opened the books).......and she's there in my dreams EVERYDAY ...

my suggestion is just move on ...she's giving you a false hope possibly to just make u feel better by saying that we ll be friends


make a wise decision and move on buddy...

i know its very difficult coz even i am goin thru the same thing...its easier said that done....but the final truth is you have to move on.....even i m in the same situation as you are ....even i am not able to move on but i know thats the way

we just have to accept it and that day when we accept it ... we ll move on.... even i m not able to accept it ( all those dreams you built for her , all those intimate moments you have for her everything hurts so much ... trust me buddy its hard as hell .... am going thru the same thing )......just got to accept it and move on.....

This is one of the reasons I am enlisting in the Army.

Ok,I'll be real,your girlfriend just needed time.If she didn't love you then why the heck your relationship lasted to damn long!And plus she said that you guys can still be friends and probably in the future you guys cab get together.Right now she needs you the most thats why she dumped you all of a sudden,she might have been caught up in some sort of promlem.Just hang on and wait for her.:D Tell me if anything works out the the future.:DDON'T GIVE UP!

I don't know if she has any problems but it does not make sense.

She said she does not love me anymore, but her mom said that she decided to stay at home and take online courses except move closer to me...

Want to ask you a question... are you able to accept it now??

wanna ask you a question ..... are you able to accept it now ???

Accept the break up?
Pretty much.

Accept the reasons behind?
No idea.

This is one of the reasons why I am enlisting in the Army.

Well,the army is definitely going to take your mind off it.

However,I'm not sure that heartbrake is the best reason-if indeed there is such a thing-to join.I can assure you,there will be times you're going to feel sorry as hell for doing it.There will be times you'll be like "Oh,man how stupid am I to go through all this sh!t when I could have been having a good time back home.And all this over &$&&* (name of girl)".

The army is no joke.Do some serious thinking before making your mind up.

Well,the army is definitely gonna take your mind off it.

However,I'm not sure that heartbrake is the best reason-if indeed there is such a thing-to join.I can assure you,there will be times you're gonna feel sorry as hell for doing it.There will be times you'll be like "Oh,man how stupid am I to go through all this sh!t when I could have been having a good time back home.And all this over &$&&* (name of girl)".

The army is no joke.Do some serious thinking before making your mind up.

I am being serious...

[QUOTE=hjpan
Her mom said that she decided to stay at home and take online courses except move closer to me..

This statement let me knows that you have not accepting that's it over otherwise you would worry about what school she was suppose to attend or where she lives, do you think she cares about what's going on in your life?

You seem like my friend who recently got dumped, me and friends tell her the same thing everyday to where you just want to shake some sense into her because its gets ignoring sometime when you give people advice and they don't use it. Do u think your friends&family what to see you continue your life like this, the only thing your serious it seems to me is joining the army,

[QUOTE=hjpan
her mom said that she decided to stay at home and take online courses except move closer to me..

This statement let me knows that you have not accepting that's it over otherwise you would worry about what school she was suppose to attend or where she lives, do you think she cares about what's going on in your life?

You seem like my friend who recently got dumped, me and friends tell her the same thing everyday to where you just wanna shake some sense into her because its gets ignoring sometime when you give people advice and they dont use it. Do u think your friends&family what to see you continue your life like this, the only thing your serious it seems to me is joining the army,

Maybe because I'm still stuck in denial stage =/

Dang...

The urge to call my ex is really strong =/

I used to talk to her during night times D:
We'd talk about what we did today... and future plans...

*sigh*

*sigh*
Sometimes I still miss her... I have the urge to just call her up =/

You'll miss her forever. You'll feel urges your whole life... not just for her, lots of things that are bad for you.

You resist urges, ignore them, if they are dumb. Well, try to... hehe. (still remembers jumping off the barn at 13 years old... seemed smart at the time)

You'll miss her forever. You'll feel urges your whole life...not just for her, lots of things that are bad for you.

You resist urges, ignore them, if they are dumb. Well, try to...hehe. (still remembers jumping off the barn at 13 years old...seemed smart at the time)

True...

7 days of no contact~

I am struggling not to call her... the urge is pretty demanding

Your going struggle but your doing good, keep it up!

Your going struggle but your doing good, keep it up!

Thanks~

Is it normal if my ex has a pic of me kissing her?

Yes. Stop analyzing her life.

Yes. Stop analyzing her life.

We're just friends?

OK, I've read this entire thread, and here's my 2 cents.
When I was in high school, I dated a guy who had been one of my close friends since first grade. We were just friggin peachy for 9 months, then he decided he didn't want to be with me anymore. We decided to be just friends again. That gave me false hope and for about 2 months, I clung to that hope. After that 2 months, I got pi$$ed at both him for giving me the false hope by saying he still loved me and at myself for allowing an indecisive man to rule my emotions. That was the day I began to build myself back up, after I sat at his house for 2 hours while he blew me off and was a complete a$$ to me because his friends were around. I don't need that. The only times he's called me after that was when I was dating my (now) husband. And he would be an a$$ over the phone, and expect me to take him seriously. These calls also caused problems in my relatuonship at the time.

I was really hurt when he dumped me, but guess what! I gpt over it! Now I'm happily married for going on 4 years and the only thinge I miss about the relationship wasour friendship, which is now gone. There are too many unsaid things between us to be friends.
Keep your head up, look ahead, never behind. Don't let this girl play you. Lose all contact, delete her webpages from your computer, lose her number, don't talk to her mom. Her loss, not yours. You'll find someone terrific, and by the time she realizes her mistake, it will be too late. Good luck to you, hun.

ok, ive read this entire thread, and heres my 2 cents.
when i was in high school, i dated a guy who had been one of my close friends since first grade. we were just friggin peachy for 9 months, then he decided he didnt want to be with me anymore. we decided to be just friends again. that gave me false hope and for about 2 months, i clung to that hope. after that 2 months, i got pi$$ed at both him for giving me the false hope by saying he still loved me and at myself for allowing an indecisive man to rule my emotions. that was the day i began to build myself back up, after i sat at his house for 2 hours while he blew me off and was a complete a$$ to me because his friends were around. i dont need that. the only times he's called me after that was when I was dating my (now) husband. and he would be an a$$ over the phone, and expect me to take him seriously. these calls also caused problems in my relatuonship at the time.

I was really hurt when he dumped me, but guess what! I gpt over it! Now I'm happily married for going on 4 years and the only thinge i miss about the relationship wasour friendship, which is now gone. there are too many unsaid things between us to be friends.
Keep your head up, look ahead, never behind. Dont let this girl play you. Lose all contact, delete her webpages from your computer, lose her number, dont talk to her mom. Her loss, not yours. You'll find someone terrific, and by the time she realizes her mistake, it will be too late. Good luck to ya, hun.


Thanks :)
I will take your advise in consideration

Just to let you let you know it does not matter that she have pictures of your when your was together. I still have cards and pictures of my exes. It just a keepsake. I really don't think you should be friends with her yet because your not over her and it seems that you think it still hope and your holding on to that, its very unhealthy.

Just to let you let you know it does not matter that she have pictures of your when your was together. I still have cards and pictures of my exes. It just a keepsake. I really dont think you should be friends with her yet because your not over her and it seems that you think it still hope and your holding on to that, its very unhealthy.

I am slowly letting go of her... just like other members have said.. it's hard and time-consuming, but I need to "recover" for a bit.

We're just friends?I'll assume you AREN'T asking me that as a question.

Ok, you're friends. Now stop analyzing her life (including the part where you were together and she took pictures of you two kissing).

Seriously. The only drama here is what you're adding your own mind. Be her friend. Put the rest of this stuff away.

HJ,

Your not just friends. She shouldn't be in your life. Trying to be friends with her is going to make your life miserable.

You want reality? Here:

You can't be friends with her for a while. You need to recover, you need to be healthy by yourself, as you can't be friends with someone that you love or someone that you are dependent on. Once you can recover, and be happy being by yourself, you can consider being friends with her. The problem is, at this point, you probably won't want to be friends with her anyway.

For now - cut her out of your life. No myspace, no Facebook, no phone calls, text messages, instant messages - NOTHING. For your own sake, trust me on this one. We've been there.

HJ,

Your not just friends. She shouldn't be in your life. Trying to be friends with her is going to make your life miserable.

You want reality? Here:

You can't be friends with her for a while. You need to recover, you need to be healthy by yourself, as you can't be friends with someone that you love or someone that you are dependent on. Once you can recover, and be happy being by yourself, you can consider being friends with her. The problem is, at this point, you probably won't want to be friends with her anyway.

For now - cut her out of your life. No myspace, no facebook, no phone calls, text messages, instant messages - NOTHING. For your own sake, trust me on this one. We've been there.

I will take that into my consideration as helpful advise

it's been a month since the dump...

I feel OK on certain days.. then down... then up =/