This is the first time I ever write about this. It is hurting me so much and I don't know what else to do that I would very much appreciate your opinion. I got married in 2004when I was 19 and he was 25. We had a beautiful daughter in September of that year.I was very happy and very much in love with him.I guess like in any relationship there were fights and I was OK I mean we would talk it over and be OK. We started to fight more and more (and I am not blaming anyone but myself) when I was unfaithful in 2006. It was the worst mistake I had ever done and it wasn't something that I would do... but it happened. It was something so short and fast and one day he asked me if I was seeing someone else. I told him I did sleep with someone else and I felt miserable and the worst person in the world. He cried and cried but in the end of the day he said he would forgive me because he loved me. About a month later I told him who the guy was because it was someone he knew and it hit him even harder. He had asked me who this guy was and I never lied to him and I didn't want to either.
In July 2007 we ended up separating and shortly after he was in a short relationship that only lasted a few months. I was miserable all that time and I still am. I have not been in no relationship after him and realized that I don't want to be with no one else... only him.
I miss him terribly and I want to be with him again just him no one else.I talked about trying to get back together.He said he couldn't forgive me for cheating. He thinks if I did it once I would do it many times again. I lived with my parents separating and it was horrible I had a miserable child hood and I hated that they weren't together anymore. I know that if it didn't work OK it didn't. I don't want to be like that and I guess I realized what I lost or was losing a little late.
Today again I talk to him about getting back together and I hugged him and cried and I still love him. He doesn't tell me if he still feels something for me so I am so confused. I don't know what else to do or say. He told me that we would talk about it tomorrow.
It's been almost a year since our separation and it affected me more than I thought. I thought it would be a little easier to handle but I can't.I want him back so bad and I know that I would never do that to him again. I don't want to be intimate with anyone but him and I wanted so bad to have another child of his.
I am really confused... please tell me what you think..
Do I really have to move on.. without fighting for what I want:confused:

You should always fight for what you want. Is he giving you any signs of wanting to work things out? Is he willing to talk to you about it?

An affair is a very hard thing to get over. The trust doesn't just come back. So he needs to learn to trust you again. He may not be ready to come back and be the husband and pretend nothing happened.

Maybe you should try asking him out on a date - start small. Dinner or lunch - no expectations. Just enjoy your time. No heavy talking - just fun. Then maybe you can have a family day at the park. Give him time to remember why he loves you.

Since you had the affair - YOU have to make a mends. You can't wait for him to come to you. Once he is willing to dig into this situation and talk - I would recommend counseling.


If he continues to tell you he doesn't want a relationship after all of your efforts are exhausted - then you should move on.

First thing I think you need to do is get some sort of counselling and fast. Once you have established what happened, suggest to your husband that he join you in the counselling. This is not an issue that you can resolve without outside help. It may not work as this has been going on for too long now, but you have to start somewhere. You do not mention what country you are from, but there are all sorts of marriage counsellors and most churches offer services for free as well if you cannot afford to pay for one.

I forgot the day he moved out it was so fast and when he left I was so hurt he said maybe later on things could work out. I don't know if he said that just because or why. I am in the US we both are but he is originally from Argentina when I was pregnant we started to work on his residency and after I had our daughter he got his working permit. This year he got his 10 year residence card. I started to wonder if I was used for this reason and he would get so mad telling me he never used me. I asked him yesterday if he still felt something for me and he doesn't answer. So I don't know he just told me that if we were to get back together he won't be happy because of my cheating. I do want to go to counceling with him I want to do whatever possible to save my marriage. Our daughter is about to be 4 and she knows something but doesn't completely get that we are not together anymore.
We took our daughter to the movies the other day and had dinner after that . I feel a little weird though doing this and not being with him. He tells all the time that he will always help me and be with his daughter but I don't know if he still feels something for me.
I go to work in a bit but he told me last night that we would talk today. I don't know how it will go or if it will even happen. I know that if he says no then I should move on but its really hard. I don't see myself without him and I don't want to bring any other man into my daughters life.

Do you have any sort of religious background? There are all sorts of deep rooted issues here that need a professional to help you sort out. Please get it soon. If you would like send me a PM I have a link to a sermon that you might find interesting.

Cheating is taught, in your case (both are Latin) even more as HE is deadly hurt.

But not only because you cheated. You cheated with a friend. This weight double.

What you should not do is blaming him in any way. You have to take all the blame and as try to explain what did cause this mistake, the WORSE in your life.

His rejection has as well a lot to do with the fact that his family and friends do know this (I guess) and he will not like to go back to you just for not hear any critique or jokes.

You have to try to establish ADMIRATION again, he does not feel admired enough by the fact that you cheat on him.

Then recap what was the reason why you where together. Value your strong points and try to find a way to make him clear that you would like to get back together, but that you will NOT DIE if this is not possible.

You don't need to ask him to come back or "do I still have a chance", I you do this will happen automatically.

You have to try to start all over again about getting trust from him.

Hope all work out well for you,

Thank you all for your help.
We had a talk and he told me that he just doesn't want to try anymore. I'm guessing he no longer loves me or feels anything for me. He said he won't be happy and he just says no. Well it did hurt me a lot but I give up trying I feel like I am forcing him and I don't want to do that. I guess this is where I have to start moving on. It will be very hard I am already feeling it but I have no other choice. I hope I can be happy once again, I learned my lesson.

It may have little to do with if he loves you or feels nothing for you. You broke a trust. For some, once that is done - there is no going back. He, obviously, can not live with what you have done.
The only thing you can do now is to move forward. Try to have a friendly relationship with him because of your child.