I went to see my girlfriend last night and I just started becoming really cold towards her to the point wher ei asked what the time was, she told me, then I got up and left. I then knockd to come back and she was so upset with me she couldn't even kiss me or hug me properly. I don't know why I did it. Well I do... im paranoid she's going to leave me... stupid I know. I then left and I just text her asking if we're OK and apologising for being such a . But she hasn't rpeied and I don't think she will. I think this is it. I think she will end it now. I'm so sad, because I love her to bits and I have no idea why I act like that sometimes. I'm so angry with myself. What should I do. I only sent one text and if she doesn't rpely by tonight ill call her later, but I don't think she'll reply or answer. Basically this all stems from a dream I had about her on Monday night, which really unsettled me. Then I found out that my best mate who is very hot and single had been chating to her online the night before... they don't ever talk in real life. It all seemed very flirty. Then she has been a bit cold. I went to re-add her on Facebook but notcied she had untagged every photo with me and her in it and so this upset me. And because of all of this I have just felt so unsettles the last couple of days. Am I a complete moron? What do I do now?

You let the emotions and nerves settle before you approach her again.. You sent her a message and you apologized - that's all you can do now. She clearly doesn't want to talk to you at the moment, you were being a drama queen and she may have just had enough.. The worse thing you can do now is call her and be more of a drama queen with apologizing and crying or whatever. You apologized - she got it.
Let her calm down and approach you when it's time.. Give it a day or two - don't call her tonight..

I stupidly tetx her again saying 'i know your busy but when you get the chance could you text or call me please because your all I can think about right now and its driving me insane to be honest'. I can't believe I did this again. This is exactly what killed our erelationshipo the first time round. Me being such a drama queen. All I want to do is hld her right now and tell her how sorry I am and for her to tell me its OK. Agggggggggh! I'm going insnae. I won't text or call her. I meant to be seeing her on Sunday but I can't see that happening now. I was hoping to see her tomorrow night also. But I know how much I really fuct her off last night with my attitude. I know I really upset her. I think its her time of the month also... not that that's an excuse but I think that obviously isn't making her feel any better, I'm just going insane here. I know once she calms down she'll want to talk to me... maybe. I mena if she wanted to be with me as she said, I know she will... well I hope we'll be OK. But I don't know, I've been getting the feeling that she's been having regrets about us getting back together and sinc ethen I've been really paranoid, hence the way I reacted last night. I can't believe I did that. I hate myself right now. I'm out to the theatre tonight but I know I won't beable to focus on anything unless I've heard from her. She'll prob text me just before she goes to bed tonight. I just hope I haven't pushed her away.

Put your phone away. Don't take it with you. Also, don't expect a text.. When you aren't waiting around for something to happen things can't get worse...
Don't be too hard on yourself we're all human and we all make mistakes.. You've been around here long enough to know that the more you pressure her in this position that she is the more she is prone to turn and run..
Let the emotion settle and calm down.. You apologized again after I suggested you probably shouldn't. Once was enough - now you added drama to the drama which we're trying to avoid..
Wait this one out and see where it takes you.. but TRUST me.. don't chase her.. DONT CONTACT her until she makes a step.
Keep us updated.

Well I just deletaed her number, text messages etc... so I have no way of contacting her now. So I'm just going to have to leave it and wiat it out. I know that I really upset her last night and I know it wanst her fault although it was because of the photos that I got upset. Anywhew nothing I can do now. Just have to get on with my life without her and hope she comes back which I don't think she'll do.

Getting upset at something as little as untagged photos on a stupid networking site is extremely childish. You had the girl, you acted like a D because you felt threatened by another guy "stepping on your toes" If she wanted to leave you, she would have, regardless of what you do or say. Quite acting like a b*tch, the blame all falls on you this time. You tried to play the head game with her and she didn't want to have it. She chose to be with you, not your mate. Who cares if she "untagged" photos. Has it really come to the point where a relationship is dictated by what's on the internet?

Don't call, don't write, don't text, nothing, zip, nada, let the dust settle. If she comes around so be it, if not, it wasn't meant to be.

Your right. I was such a little . I just got to accept it now.

Getting upset at something as little as untagged photos on a stupid networking site is extremely childish. You had the girl, you acted like a D because you felt threatened by another guy "stepping on your toes" If she wanted to leave you, she would have, regardless of what you do or say. Quite acting like a b*tch, the blame all falls on you this time. You tried to play the head game with her and she didn't want to have it. She chose to be with you, not your mate. Who cares if she "untagged" photos. Has it really come to the point where a relationship is dictated by what's on the internet?

Don't call, don't write, don't text, nothing, zip, nada, let the dust settle. If she comes around so be it, if not, it wasn't meant to be.


Well Romey, I was going to give you a greenie but it said I needed to spread some reputation first.

Any who, I totally agree with this answer. It is 100% accurate and true.

Ha ha well beautiful, thanks for the thought, I appreciate it. This website is funny about spreading the rep around for some reason.

Don't call, don't write, don't text, nothing, zip, nada, let the dust settle. If she comes around so be it, if not, it wasn't meant to be.
Excellent solution to your problem. Me, I disappear from her life, and get myself together.

Exactly Tal, no reason to stick around when the other person obviously showed they don't want you around

Well she just dumped me. By ing text! After all we've been thorugh. She dumped me by text! That's how much I must mean to her! I'm heart broken again!

Sru, I know how you feel. After 2 1/2 years my ex broke up with me over text as well. It's definitely a tough pill to swallow. But looking back(5 months ago) I realize just how cowardly it was and furthers my reasoning behind NC with her. I was asked by one of her friends if I would ever consider talking to her again. I politely told her, I would consider it but not at this time. There is nothing left to say on my side and I don't really want to hear her justifications for anything.

For some werid reason I could just see it coming. I don't know why but I just could. Maybe I pushed it into that because I thought it was coming. But if she really loved me she wudnt have endedit just because I made one big mistake/. She made so many mistakes last term, playing with my head over and over. Obviously this just wanst meant to be. I will miss her. But I know its time. It also felt quite stale... like we weren't moving forward. I just could see it coming in a werid way. Oh well. I'm only young.

for some werid reason i could just see it coming. i dont knwo why but i just cud. maybe i pushed it into that coz i thought it was coming. but if she really loved me she wudnt have endedit just coz i made one big mistake/. she made so many mistakes last term, playing with my head over and over. obviously this just wanst menat to be. i will miss her. but i know its time. it also felt quite stale...like we werent moving forward. i just could see it coming in a werid way. oh well. im only young.


Someone can love you but not feel it necessary to be with you due to circumstances.

Maybe she felt that the relationship was going no where because of your lack of trust or jealousy. I know plenty of people that still love their exes but couldn't be with them because they felt like nothing was going right in their relationship.

Instead of looking at this break up as a 'her fault, his fualt' kind of deal, look at it as a lesson. Now it's time for you to change as a person. You know what you like and don't like. Find a person that fits your needs. Learn from it, not dwell on it.

Thank you for the greenie!

:) :) :)

She text me and said 'your paranoia is the reason we kep spitting up before and I had to see if it would happen again' I said 'but you get paranoid only not as dramaticaly as me. Can't you ust calm down... give ita couple of days and think because do you really want to thow all this away for just one bad flaw of mine which I haven't had in ages and you know that. We'll miss each other in a couple of days. Please don't just throw all this away.' but I think she's pretymuch decided. Although this happens every time and she comes back a couple of weeks later... only differecne now is that we won't se each oteh aornd anymoe because I've just finsihed college. So I will be easie to get over each other. But sdy this is it. Its over. I'm so sad.

Sorry for your loss, and I hope you work on your issues for the betterment of you.

I didn't steal it from anyone :)

"am i a complete moron?"
Yes, but you will grow out of it.

Though it seems your future is already decided for you.. another tip of advice when you're trying to win someone over- the whole "you do it too" business isn't going to help your situation at all..
I know as men we consider ourselves more logical than women in some things, which may or may not be true ( no need to open a debate here ). But my experience with women tells me that the "you do it too" thing just doesn't stand. However you word it - whether its politely or angrily it just doesn't get through.
An example:
Girlfriend does something that may bother me slightly.. can't think of an example but something stupid and meaningless.. I let it slide.. keep things going.. bottle it up.
I make the same mistake.. girlfriend goes mental.. "when did you stop caring? are you serious?? blablaba"
As a logical person, I say.. "honey, you did the exact same thing" - I list the whereabouts and frequency of this event.
Girlfriend gets even more furious - You lose even more points.
--
Kind of stepped away from the point here but this has happened in every relationship I've been in..

I think you may be freakin out a little bit Too much!
Just chill.. she will eventually talk to you about it...
Texting isn't a good way to solve... face to face is...
But that's good you apologized, that shows you DO care.

your right. i was such a little . i just gotta accept it now.

How long have the two of you been dating? I understand where you are coming from because me and my boyfriend are going through the same thing.. I broke up with him and he was so sad so I got back with him and he thinks its only pity and he is really paranoid and basically the same way you are

I can tell you this, I wanted space I didn't want to talk to him for a few days and see what would have happened. But he blew my phone up and that pushed me away even more if she loves you and truly cares about you... give her time and space and don't worry it will work its self out. I admit the tagged photo thing is a bit childish HOWEVER she is acting childish by not even given you a idea of what is going to happen with the two of you.

Goodluck sweetie... dont beat yourself up about it.:)

Brit, maybe she didn't know exactly what she wanted so she needed time to think. You just admitted you did the same thing with your boyfriend. You told him you needed space, so in retrospect, you have in fact done the same. I'm not saying that's a bad thing at all, so please don't take this negatively. Everybody comes to points in their lives where they need to be alone and think. Some people simply cannot take that answer, like the poster, and they bug and bug and any chance of a getting back together gets thrown out the window.

Life throws everyone a thousand curve balls, sometimes you miss but sometimes you knock it out the park. The trick is, never be afraid to swing.

well she just dumped me. by ing text! after all we've been thorugh. she dumped me by text! thats how much i must mean to her! im heart broken again!
Well you did treat her like crap. Did you expect her to treat you like gold after that? She may just be angry, and maybe after a few days or even weeks the two of you can talk peacefully.

I know I treated her so badly. But so did she last term. She treated me terribly and I forgave her. It took some time but I forgave her because I loved her. Right now she is doing what she did before and that is not answer any of my calls, only reply through text... if she bothers at all.she sent me a text yesterday saying 'your paranoia is the reason we use dto split and I had to see if it would happen again'... naturlaly it did and now she doesn't want to be with me. I'm so upset because I just can't help the way I get sometimes. Its my major flaw. She has flaws and makes mistakes, but I simple talk to her about it and its OK. But she won't except mine. Ts the first time I've been paranoid since January. I asked her to calm down, take a couple of days and don't be so hastey in throwing what we have away becaue of one stupid mistake I made. Naturally all emotions are running high now, so imnot going to contact her until sometime next week and simply say 'can we talk about this' because it cnat be over just like that. We were so in love last week. She told me she can't imagine being without me etc... yet now she doesn't want to know me at all. I'm so sad.

I just know that now the best and only thing I can do is give her space and not contact her anymore. Because time heals and will hopefully heal for both of us. What do you all think? At least she could do is speak to me on the fone. She won't even pick up. I really do love this girl, I just got issues I need to deal with and I accept them.

As much as you would hate it... go spend a few hours with your friends and watch a BB game. Not only will you be proud of yourself, you will enjoy the time as an INDIVIDUAL. Forget them feelings for her just a few hours at a time. It works.

Once you can smile and laugh again is when she ( and a lot of girls ) will notice you again. It's confidence that they are seeking, not love. You can give her space all day, but once you start breaking away from the "WE" you will grow. It is hard dude, But once you start separating from it all, is when we give them the chance to make a choice. Either they come back or they walk away. WE (us) now have the power (choice) to say yes or no...

Just make yourself a priority, instead of a girl that may be just a girl. OK?

Yea your right. This bascially is how we got back 2gther. I had complete confidence, didn't show any interest in her. And she got all scared of losing me and so came running back. No its on the other foot and she has complete control and now we'll never see each other again its hard because I won't get to show her. I just hope that after a few days she gets in contact , but I odnt think she will. I just hate the fact that it has all been done over text. How pathetic is that. That's why its so hard, because she won't even speak to me on the fone.

She hasn't bothered rpelying to me... so do I send this text to her saying 'ok I spoke to someone last night and have realised that I just got to let you go if that's what you really want. I cnat bleve that the last time we'll ever speak is through a text, but if that's easier for you then OK. Goodluck with everything for the future, you're a great girl and will always remain someone special to me.'

Thing is I'm sure she is still pent u in emtion etc... so ill send that to her next week when she's calmed down a bit. What do you think?

I think you should kick yourself in the a**.. how many times are you going to screw up before you realize you're screwing up? What sort of reaction were you expecting when you sent her that message?
If I got a message like that from an ex in your situation I would automatically think:
"Right - you spoke to someone and he explained things to you..so you can't think things through for yourself..cant believe the last time we'll ever speak is through a text? I thought you knew I was avoiding drama but you may as well add to it." -I won't even expand on the whole good luck to the future BS we come up with.. I've done it before and now that MY feelings have settled I realized how much of a I sounded.. "Good luck in the future I love you so much I want you to be happy if this is what makes you happy" - That's BS.. what I really want is for her to stop being such a knob and to come back in my life, but it isn't happening - and guess what, she knows that you're going to text her again because you keep taking steps back EVERY TIME.
Dude , I hate to be harsh on you but you need to realize that the best thing to do is BACK OFF.. everyone keeps telling you that but you keep doing your own thing, I understand you're emotional and can't help it but the reason we're enforcing this on you is for your own good... You're already making plans on sending a text in a WEEK..
That spells pathetic man. Where is your dignity?
Start focusing on yourself and stop chasing this girl about.. If something is broken that cannot be fixed then LET IT BE.. If she wants to work things out she KNOWS WHERE TO FIND YOU.. the more you throw these sort of messages in her face the more you show how weak and powerless you are without her.. you're smothering her and you're being NEEDY.
You were an a**hole - that's your fault. You apologized.. she KNOWS you're sorry.. END OF STORY.. Why on earth are you dragging it on and on and adding more drama which is the one thing you're trying to avoid!
I know you're spending every second of the day thinking about this but you have to stay strong.

I didn't actually send that text. And I'm not going to. And I'm not going to text her at all anymore. I was just going to text her once next week to wish her goodluck for the show. But even that shows my weakness. But how can I just dela with the fact that the love of my life has just dumped me with a ing text!

Srulik86 I imagine that's your birth date - I was also born 1986 - I'm 22 years old and I've been fortunate enough to have loved twice.. and I will love again because I'm convinced that there is more than 1-2-3-10+ people in this world of billions that can connect with me on an intimate level.
If you read the posts on this forum you will also notice that they ALL follow the same structure in being together and breaking up.. When we get dumped we all elaborate on our relationship, cause ours was "unique", it was "different" to all the others... "Im going to mention the time her mother made me a cake so the people in the forums take that into account when they give me advice".. but at the end of the day, we all go through the same experiences and we're all witness to that.
What I'm trying to conclude is that, yes, you loved her - and you lost her.. and if you got back together you would do things differently.. I would probably say the same for my situation as well.. But I would have never learned what I learned if this didn't happen the way it did, in this moment of my life... Implement these tools that you've absorbed from this heart break in your next relationship - and as impossible as it sounds to you right now, you will love again I can guarantee you that..
The worst thing you can do to yourself right now is sit around and mope about losing her. If you don't allow your brain to let her go then you won't my friend.. We're both young, we have a whole life ahead of us.. I don't think the next woman I will fall in love with is going to be the one I walk down the aisle.. But I'm prepared for the challenges that lie ahead.
I've loved and lost - felt betrayed by someone who I gave myself entirely too, 100%. She was my best friend in the world, and now she's a stranger in my eyes.
That hurts me beyond logical comprehension-but I have to look ahead..
Don't poison your youth by driving yourself crazy over a girl.. I've already lost three years of my life for my first love and I don't intend on doing that again.. Im mourning this lost relationship and I'm hurt by it but I have to stay positive this time.
Trust me -you will come out of this alive.

Nickshehe, you have hit the nail on the head in your posts.

Srulik86, STOP texting her, don't call, don't write, delete her from every contact available. That means ALL the networking sites, her messenger, phone, and e-mail! You are acting like a little b*tch, no offense, we have all been there and acted like that. The biggest thing a girl likes in a guy is confidence, how do you expect to meet new women when you are constantly pining over some girl that broke up with you over text? Did that p*ss you off? Good, I'm glad because when people get angry they bring about change. This nut job doesn't deserve the goodluck text you are thinking of sending her next week! What part of NC didn't you understand? It doesn't mean, NC until I think of some lame excuse to talk to her. NC won't bring her back, she's gone, it's over and guess what. You're still breathing, you're heart is still beating and you're didn't die. Today is the first day of your new life, enjoy it. Do something that you couldn't normally do. How many times are you going to welcome her back into your life with open arms? And don't feed me that crap that "if she comes back, it's going to be different, I'm going to tell her this isn't going to fly anymore" MOVE ON! She didn't respect you enough to end it in person, so obviously she didn't think too highly of you, why would you want someone like that in your life?

but how can I just dela with the fact that the love of my life has just dumped me with a ing text!
Men deal with the things life throws at us with dignity and self respect. That's what everyone has been telling you in both your threads.

You right guys. I took myself on a day trip with myself and I've been going through stages... sometimes anger, sometimes sadness, sometimes joy. Its werid. Mainly anger that all I mean to her is a lousey ing text message. Yes I screwed up, but if she's going to run at the first hurdle and if a text is all I deserves then her. I don't need someone like that in my life. You guys are right. Me and her have been through this all before , we even went no conatc for a month then we got back 2gther and as much a si said things would be different, the last 3 weeks felt a bit different until bang... they fell back into old routines and patterns and I think that's why I became restless... it didn't feel like it wa sgoing anywhere. Time to move on. My band has a gig on Monday so I have that to look forward to... im shooting a film next month and last night I met with a very good friend of mine who has helped me beyond belief and will do in my career to which I am ever thankful. I have people who do care about me... including myself. OK yes today was hard seeing all the places we used to go 2gther. I wish I never sent her the tetx yesterday syaing take your time and don't rush into ending us. But I've now delated every possible contact I have with her... so no-way apart form next sundays party... am I going to have to speak to her or be around her. I don't doubt she'll get in contact at one point... maybe. But if she does I just got to ignore it because obviously we can't have a future if she runs at the first hurdle. Oh well. Bring on the next one!haha