Whenever I go to a party (which I do quite often nowadays), I usually end up getting drunk and doing "things" with another guy (blow jobs, fingering, making out; I've never actually had SEX before). But, see, this only happens when I'm drunk and when the other person is drunk or has consumed a significant amount of alcohol. I've never done any of these things sober before. Does this still mean that I'm easy? My friend told the first guy I did things with about all the other things I've done, and he said something along the lines of (I wasn't there for this) "Damn, she's easy".

Am I really that easy? I mean this only happens when I'm drunk.

Also, I do tend to have a low self-esteem, so is that why guys go after me at parties? How on Earth do they know that I have a low self-esteem? I don't get it!

Oh OK... so if you've only done these things while drinking, are you kind of still there or are you gone. Nowadays some guys who go to parties think they can score with girls because the fact that they drink a lot sometimes drink too much to impress or whatever then by the time you know it - home girl is ed up- lol anyway darling no this does not mean your easy. I think it has more to do with you want a man of your own and when you a little under the influence you `people` tend to be more free about themselves by caring less. You should just go to partys hang with the girls and not mess around.. have you ever not messed with someone...

No girl trust me.

When you're drunk you just want to have fun
And sometimes can't control or help yourself.
And I agree with the post above

Guys MOSTLY
Only go after girls at parties
Or kickbacks because they are indeed, drunk.
And just try not to get SO drunk.
So you have the ability to make better decisions
So people won't talk s h I t.

Judging by your story,
I don't think you're easy.
So doooon't even trip

Oh yes you are easy. If you know that getting drunk does this to you and you continue to get drunk, then you have no excuse.

By the way, while you may not have had sexual INTERCOURSE, you have had sex. Having sex is participating in any activity that involves touching of genitals or other sexual organs, (breasts, etc.)

You are a TEENAGER! Drinking is ILLEGAL for you. So not only are you easy, you are breaking the law as well. Where the heck are your parents allowing you to go to parties where you can get yourself drunk?

As to how boys know about you, you don't think its gone around by now? Girls who put out (whether they have to be gotten drunk or not) are usually well known in schools. And Girls who put out are used by guys. They are great to have "fun" with at parties, but forget about any meanignful relationships. That's why these guys ignore you afterwards.

You really need to take stock of your life and what you want to do. If you don't want to be known as easy, then stop going to these illegal partieis. Seek counseling about your low self-esteem issues. Do something positive with your life.

Lets see, just don't drink the alcohol. Then you will not end up drunk.

Sweetie, if you know that you turn into an easy mark when you drink and you still choose to drink then, yes, that does make you easy. Knowing the consequences but doing it anyway is not smart thinking. Especially at your age.

As Fr. Chuck said, drinking at your age is illegal.

Now that the guys at school know that you "do stuff when you're drunk" what is to say that some sicko is not going to act all nice to you simply to get you drunk enough that you won't care when he rapes you.

Sorry its harsh, but you've got to have a wake up call. I don't want you to end up back here on AMHD asking the question "I was drunk, he raped me, I'm pregnant, what do I do?"

Don't drink.

I won't repeat the correct responses above. Read them. Heed them.

But I wanted to add that in addition to what's been suggested above, I'd like to suggest you stop playing innocent. Especially with yourself.

Go back and read your post out loud to yourself. Pretend YOU didn't write it. Read it again. Is there really any confusion at all about what is going on here? There shouldn't be, you describe it accurately and right now, since you're not drunk, you appear to be fully vested in the reality of it all.

So, no speech about making better choices. My speech is about being honest. If you want to get drunk and have sex fun at parties, you absolutely can do that. Obviously, no one is stopping you, not even your parents.

But after you do that and wake up the next day, look in the mirror and make sure you're still happy with who you see there. As long as you are, well, who cares what others think about you? You're having fun the way you want and consequences be damned. It's your life.

But no whining. No drama. No "oh, woe as me and boys don't understand." OK? They understand just as well as you.

Enjoy your life. It will change 3-6 months after you do. At that point, both you and boys will treat you better. But not until then.

Sure you are the "easy" girl at all the parties!

You said so yourself so stop denying it.

You like to get drunk, you enjoy the attention and sex with the boys, but you want someone here to tell you that you are a good girl, and not easy?

Sorry, won't be me.

Yup, you are easy.

Ask yourself this question, do you know all the names of the guys you've "had fun" with? If not then there's you first sign.

Of course it's spread around, no guy is going to keep this to himself. "You know so and so, get her a drink and you can have your way with her, I did, so did that guy and that guy....." If you don't want to be considered easy then stop being easy, first step would be to stop drinking.

You teach people how to treat you and you have taught them, regardless of whether you intended to or not. It's time to stop and re-teach them, it's not to late.

Good Luck.

I think you have gotten some great advice here. I think your best bet is to avoid alcohol for a while (until you're 21 at least). Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, and if this only happens when you're drinking, then don't put yourself in that situation.

It obviously really bothers you that that guy said you were easy. But the thing is, you can change that. It's not too late. Everyone makes mistakes in their lives, but the key is to learn from them and then to try and not make the same mistake again. You can start by avoiding alcohol and parties. Start going to counseling for your low self esteem. You need to learn to love yourself. Once you get to that point, you will be able to have healthy relationships. Remember that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it.

Even if you haven't had sexual intercourse, if you have done other things, you still might want to get tested for std's because you don't have to have actual intercourse to contract them. (Sorry, not trying to scare you, but it's something you have to think about) If you keep on fooling around at parties, you could catch something from someone, so take care of yourself.

I think you are a trouble young lady who needs help. Low self esteem will often cause you to have sex trying to get some level of "love" or feelings that will make you feel better about yourself.

The main thing to learn is that you will never feel better and have more self esteem if you are giving your body away. This will only make others think less of you and fulfill what you believe is true.

And of course getting drunk is merely an excuse, you know what you will do when you start to drink, and drink anyway, so you are doing it, to do this.

First you have to admit to yourself what you are doing, and have to decie not to, period, stop. Until you do, then you may or may not admit it, but you are doing it on purpose

(blow jobs, fingering, making out; I've never actually had SEX before)
More to the truth you may have never had intercourse, but have had plenty of sex

Am I really that easy? I mean this only happens when I'm drunk.

Drunk sober doesn't matter you are easy because you give it up.

Also, I do tend to have a low self-esteem, so is that why guys go after me at parties? How on Earth do they know that I have a low self-esteem? I don't get it!

Listen carefully, the guys don't give a rats a$$ about your self-esteem or the color of your eyes. You give them some pleasure and that's all they want.

Tal, I don't necessarily disagree with you, but I'm going to give you guys a young teenage girls perspective, even though I'm no longer a young teenage girl.

I was extremely promiscuous when I was young, in fact I probably made the OP look tame by comparison. I went through things as a child (thanks to a cousin) that left lasting scars, I felt worthless, I felt dirty and I didn't care anymore. I gave way too much of myself to guys that did not care a tiny little bit about me, that was okay because I didn't care about them either. I can't explain why, even though deep down I know. It took my husband to make me see the light, the first guy that actually said "Wait, if that's all I wanted I could go elsewhere, I want to get to know YOU!"

To the OP, I say you are easy because you are, and honey, it takes one to know one because I was too. Self esteem does have allot to do with it, respect for yourself and your body, realizing that what you are doing isn't healthy and having the strength to stop it. I wish I could go back in time and have a do-over, but everything I did led me to where I am now. I was lucky, I found a great guy who loved me for me, not for what I could do for him. Learn the easy way, from my mistakes.

Great, another bit of info about me, I might as well give you all my social insurance number, that's about the only thing you all don't know about me. ;)

You are a TEENAGER!! Drinking is ILLEGAL for you. So not only are you easy, you are breaking the law as well. Where the heck are your parents allowing you to go to parties where you can get yourself drunk?



Uhh, part of this problem is understanding.
And you're probably not a teenager.
Just about EVERY teen gets drunk these days.

uhh, part of this problem is understanding.
and you're probably not a teenager.
just about EVERY teen gets drunk these days.

Well, another teen who thinks that what they are doing now is new and different then it was for us oldies. Most of us drank when we were younger too, heck most of us had sex with people other than the ones we are married to now. We've all been there and done that, that's why we know what we're talking about.

Trust me, there is nothing that you have done or are thinking about doing that I didn't do when I was younger (great, more info) that's why I give the advice that I give and why others give the advice that they give. We've lived through our teen years and survived, some of us came out of it okay, some of us (myself included) came out of it with a few scars and allot of bad memories. Why make those mistakes if you can learn from others mistakes.

I wish that I had someplace like this to go to when I was a teen, who knows, maybe I would have learned my lesson sooner.

No worries
Its high school

no worries
its high school

Ya, and when you get pregnant or get an std then no worries, no big deal, have the baby, die, whatever, no big deal. (sarcasm)

uhh, part of this problem is understanding.
and you're probably not a teenager.
just about EVERY teen gets drunk these days.

According to statistics I found that is not true. While underage drinking is a very serious problem, the majority of teens do not drink regularly. While almost 3/4 reported having a drink while they were teens less than a third reported drinking regularly. An even smaller percentage reported having gotten drunk. However, even those numbers are way too high.

Yes part of the problem IS understanding. But you are way off the mark when you think we adults don't understand you kids. The thing is we have lived through what you are going through and we know the problems and consequences of these self-destructive activities that you seem to think are normal. No I am not a teenager, but I have been one and I have rasied one. So I speak from experience. Experience you as still being in your teens, haven't had.

Again, the problem IS understanding, your lack of understanding of the dangers and problems caused by underage drinking, underage sex and other self destructive behaviours.

no worries
its high school
What you learn in high school, is what carries you forward in life. There are no jobs out in the real world that being drunk prepares you for. I'd love to see your grades and how you support yourself when you graduate, if you do.

Bah, have to spread the love Scott---but great answer.

It has all been said.. dear. So read these posts over and over again.

As for low self-esteem.. so you might have had an unhappy childhood. You might have been neglected and are looking for comfort in anyone's arms. You might be a child of a 'divorced' family, or a 'drunk' family. You might just put it all in a pot, shake it up and throw it out because you are now a young person with a mind of your own who can make choices instead of finding blame in the past.

Also consider going to a clinic and getting tested for STDs - then thank your lucky stars if you are not infected.

You know those 'girlfriends' you hang around with - the ones who tell you what the guys say about you? Well, they probably like having you around because that distracts others from talking about them - you are the subject they use when they want to feel superior and consider themselves 'good girls' compared to you. Do you want to continue being their reason for feeling better about themselves?

Alcohol can really do serious damage to you for the rest of your life. Look at any city street corner or busy train station or run-down city blocks. Do you like the idea of becoming a statistic like that in your future?

Only you can do something about this and care enough to change if it's not already too late. Instead of alcohol, try gingerale or plain soda - nobody needs to know that you are sober for a change - and don't let your glass out of your site. Then see if those 'good ole boys' show interest. If not, all the better - because they have learned to be disrespectful and self-serving and you don't need to be their victim.

Now, wake up and get some self-respect back. It's not an easy fight to keep it, but worth it in the longrun. It's your choice and I hope you make the right one.

Good lUck dear, and keep us posted.


http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_22_19.gifWhere are you now and what do you want for your future?? (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE)

no worries
its high school

So, next you'll be saying: Don't worry, you can always get an abortion. Don't worry, they've got good medicine for AIDS now. Don't worry, I'll be your pimp and we'll both live well off your job.

So, what are your plans for the future? It makes me want to barf just thinking that people like you are the future representatives of our species on this planet. But, don't worry, this planet will WIN - it has survived worse.

Sorry to be so blunt, but I'll be off this planet before the year is out due to cancer and I think it's a shame my young grandson has to grow up with people like you around who have no respect of life at all.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_165_13.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE)You've gotten enough negative comments already, so I just thought I'd tell you in person how I feel about your attitude, dude.

talaniman leave me alone.




Chery: exactly it's not about me.
State the obvious.
And it was meant for talaniman.
I don't even know you people
And we could all live without your drama.

Whenever I go to a party (which I do quite often nowadays), I usually end up getting drunk and doing "things" with another guy (blow jobs, fingering, making out; I've never actually had SEX before). But, see, this only happens when I'm drunk and when the other person is drunk or has consumed a significant amount of alcohol. I've never done any of these things sober before. Does this still mean that I'm easy? My friend told the first guy I did things with about all the other things I've done, and he said something along the lines of (I wasn't there for this) "Damn, she's easy".

Am I really that easy? I mean this only happens when I'm drunk.

Also, I do tend to have a low self-esteem, so is that why guys go after me at parties? How on Earth do they know that I have a low self-esteem? I don't get it!
No Hun your not, Things happen, you just have to watch what you do. When your drunk the alchool, takes control.

I'm a teenager and I find getting wasted off your butt absolutely pointless. Let's go poison ourselves as an excuse to do some really dumb sh!t so we can tell stories about it and puke our guts out in the morning. Fan-flipping-tastic.

So because "everone" is doing it that makes it OK?

Drunk, sober, you obviously don't care or else you would have stopped going to these parties long ago.

It's just high school? Babies and stds live far past high school.

talaniman leave me alone.
??

amberlynn[/B]]talaniman leave me alone.
---------------
I can't find where he challenged you. Did I miss a page? I'm lost on this one.

No Hun your not, Things happen, you just have to watch what you do. When your drunk the alchool, takes control.

In a way, Alcohol does take control. Its addictive for one. But that's not the real issue here and why your response here is very bad advice. Did you try reading all the other responses?

Alcohol is a controllable addiction. At the OP's age there is still time to get control of it. Your advice gives the OP the excuse to continue her self destructive behavior. What she really needs is some tough love to help her control herself.

I think it would help the OP to find out why she must drink, and entertain the guys, as she clearly is looking for love, and the alcohol allows her to pursue it, albeit in a self destructive way. I'm sure a counselor, or teacher can talk to her, and guide her through the process of getting the love, and attention she needs, in a more positive healthier way.

Thanks for the insights Altie.

Counselling is a great idea, a great step to finding out why she does the things she does. It took years for me to realize why I did, many years, and it wasn't until I had already changed my behavior. I was lucky, I got away with my promiscuity relatively unscathed, no pregnancies (I was lucky) and one std that was cleared up with a few doses of antibiotics, nothing that I will have to carry around as a reminder, except the memories.

OP, it's not too late, you are still young and you are aware of you behavior and obviously ashamed otherwise you would not have come here with your question. It's time to do something about this, time to put a stop to it. Your actions to date have not been productive but it's not too late to change that. Get some help to deal with the drinking and find out why you are doing the things you are doing, you will be a better, happier person for it.

Good luck.

Performing in a sexual act with people you don't know is not the way to go. Don't drink just fit in and then disrepect yourself in the process. If you have low self esteem then address it now because God forbid a guy could want more than a bj and take it from, and that's rape and you don't ever want that to happen. Learn to love the skin your in and only then would you respect yourself, I prett sure you don't want to be know as that, I wouldn't. What happens if later on down the line you run into someone from your past, you don't want people to remember you like this.

Change starts now and one starts with stop party, that's nothing but trouble and stop drinking. AA and couseloring is the way to go. You can do other positive things with yourself and look yourself in the mirror and say you love yourself and truthly mean it otherwise think what your life would be like if you continue down this road because its time for a new path.

First of all you are obviously not comfortable with what your doing because you would not to ask for confirmation of what your doing. To ask that question you must first ask yourself do you think your "easy"? Are you using being drunk as a cover up? (making you almost feel like it is not yourself (another person)) Some people like to be two different people or should I say have to different personalities. You know normally you wouldn't do this but when you drink your transformed. Your actions are very scary you should drink less if drink at all and be very careful. Some guys prey on women like you to end up at the wrong place at the wrong time. Also, you might want to speak to someone and work on ways to build your self-esteem because the way your going about it will make yourself esteem worst. I mean worst in the sense people guys and girls will talk and judge you until no end. Which isn't the best thing. Feel good about yourself and love yourself so you can have something to offer that special someone. I'm sure your special so don't give out so much of yourself to get nothing in return. You can party but be tasteful. " A reputation is easy to get and hard to get rid of"

Sweetie, I really hate 2 say it but if your asking gif your easy, then you probably are. I an understand that you like 2 go out 2 parties & drink & have fun, but mayb you should try not drinking as much or mayb even try just going out & not drinking, you can still have fun.
You need 2 remember guys talk they don't keep there hookups 2 themselves like girls do, they brag about it, that's just how guys are..
If you don't want to be know as the easy girl then I suggest that you step back & take a look @ what your doing to yourself & even though you are not actually having intercourse you can still get STDs.