I have been having issues with my live-in boyfriend. We have lived together for about 3 years now and it's always an issue- his sex drive is low (VERY LOW). He was constantly rejecting me and or would come up with excuses to get out of having sex. He said he would stop the rejections and making excuses- but it still happens. It doesn't happen as often as it did, but it happens. Sometimes, he offers to just get me off with a toy, but I take offense to that. Last night, I wanted to have sex- he didn't. We ended up arguing and he told me something that just blew my mind. He told me he gets frustrated having sex with me because I take too long to have an orgasm during intercouse. Mind you, there is no forplay, no kissing, no touching, no nothing. I explained to him women don't orgasm so easily... I was/am hurt. He tells me I am reading too much into it, but how else can I take what he told me? What should do? How should I feel? I have never been told this and it's just... ugh!!

The two of you sound sexually incompatible. If he turns you down frequently, your sex drive is higher than his. He may have issues about sex that he has not told you, is unlikely to tell you. Talking it through is the only way to solve the problem, I think.

A man who tells you that you take too long... It's probably much quicker with his hand. He does not enjoy sexual encounters with you. That doesn't make you bad. He does it with no foreplay? That doesn't make you bad. There is nothing wrong with you. This relationship is mismatched.

You equate romance and touching, kissing with sex, he doesn't. To him, sex with you is an obligation. He is on a different planet sexually. There are men on your planet, find them.

I agree with simon, you guys aren't sexually compatible. Just imagine if you marry this guy, everything will get sooo much worse.. I would not like that if my boyfriend did that to me, it's almost like he's rejecting you.. my suggestion either dump him and find someone less selfish, or work on it, both of you go to a councelor to figure out why he's doing this to you, maybe it's a medical reason.. could be medications.. and so on.. if he's worth the work then try.. if not go see what else is out there.

He has thre problem -not you. Tell him if he wants you to stop "taking so long", perhaps he might stop being an A$$hole and "help you" to feel better and therefore you will take less time to climax.

Secondly, if he thinks you are going to climax with just some 2minute thrusting, tell him from now on you will masturbate him by rubbing his lower back! That might give him an idea that for a woman to climax, a little bit more "interesting and localised stimulation is required"

I think that there are more interesting and sexually satisfying men out there who would LOVE to treat you better...

You have set up an adversary sexual relationship over your failures; there is no chance for you if you don't change your attitude and he change his.

Having a successful happy life is about growing and changing as we get older and being flexible and open to all the things that life holds for us. We have to be smart enough to understand that we have a lot to learn at all stages of life.

So, my opinion, you have to lose any romantic illusions you have about him... life and sex is real, you have to be plugged into reality in order to have successful relationships. If you want to stay with him longer, add some real excitement to your sex life and practice orgasming.

Most important, what's with negative, fighting attitude? I think you should go to sex therapist to help you straighten out your thoughts and motivations!

Your life is always what *you* make it! :)

Best wishes,