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brookielimberge
May 6, 2008, 04:53 AM
I'm a female I really really like a guy.. we spend heaps of time together we kiss we hold hands we act like a couple
But he don't want a relationship because of a bad brake up ? I'm not sure what to do ? Should I keep hangin out and kissing him ? Or should I stay bak ?"
His like a really good friend now and I have really strong feelings for him?
Help?

450donn
May 6, 2008, 07:09 AM
Friends first, romance second, sex after marriage.
If you two are really good friends, you should understand that he needs time to adjust to life after his last relationship. Just be a friend to him right now.

MommyLeah
May 6, 2008, 07:32 AM
I would stop kissing him. He his trying to do a relationship without the commitment. You need to tell him you want to be more than just a comfort/safety relationship. People have bad break ups all the time. We need to be aware of those thing but he needs to move on. How long has it been? If he really likes you he will give it a go. If he is just using your friendship he will act offended that you would make him choose.
Your other option is to keep things the way it is and ignore your feelings. If you choose this one, most likely you will become bitter when the situation doesn't change and you will lose all your feeling for him. Or you may keep your feelings, but finally decide to move on.
Good luck with what you decide!

JBeaucaire
May 6, 2008, 10:46 AM
Entering a relationship with the focus on yourself is always a bad idea.

This guy is afraid of getting official with you because of past bad break up? Too bad, I am sure he will have many break ups over the years, and they are usually bad by nature. He's deciding to punish his future dating opportunities because of past naturally completed relationships?

That's selfish, and you need to be honest about that, honest to yourself. You have feelings for him, that's fine, but you aren't in control of those feelings. They came naturally on their own, he didn't earn them and you don't use them as an excuse for ANY particular choice.

No, you base your choices about how you will be with him on who he is, not how you feel about him. Kissing on a guy who is signalling "no commitment" consistently back at you... well, that's silly behavior on your part, don't you agree?

You can do better. If he's not ready, respect that and honor it. Keeps your lips in reserve for someone who is attentive to YOU, not their own needs. Right now, he needs to protect himself, so let him.

You're not punishing him or manipulating him by not kissing on him, you're respecting the boundary HE has created.

"My kisses are for my man, the man who treats me like his woman. You're not ready for that and I totally respect your position. Friend."

CFZD
May 6, 2008, 12:16 PM
Yes, be his friend first! Every other relationship is based on friendship!

Never rush into a relationship... when you are young, you are confused, so does your boyfriend! He problly doesn't even know who he is. It is not healthy to force a relationship.

To protect you from getting hurt, stop seeing him for a while.

ZigZag07
May 9, 2008, 09:59 AM
I agree... being someone's friend is wayyy better than jumping into a realationship. I wood say... stick around if you really like him... see how things turn out? Maybe ask him how he feels? I mean... bad break ups are bad, but its not the same with everyone else.