theenigma
May 2, 2008, 11:37 AM
I am the oldest of three children. I'm 48, my sister (Mickey) is 47 and my brother is 40. Despite my parents dressing my sister and me identically when we were young, I have always known we are as different as night and day. So different that I often wonder if we came from the same parents, although I have no doubt we share the same father and mother.
Mickey has always wanted to be the center of attention whereas I prefer to remain in the background. One example is that she is the most senior member of Toastmasters. Mickey has a pattern of entering into long term relationships and before they are over, she is placing and answering personal ads. On a number of occasions she has gone so far as to invite her date to a family gathering while the ex is present. Despite the relationship being over, I have personally witnessed two ex's devastated by her cruelty.
In February 2008, I was scheduled to have surgery in San Francisco. The surgery was scheduled to last five hours under general anesthesia. At the last minute, the person who was to fetch me was unable to do, so my sister did. Prior to that she offered to let me stay at her house following my surgery and I agreed. Before surgery, I emailed her a copy of the surgical instructions (before and after care) which include medication, bleeding, etc. Also, by law, I was unable to drive following my surgery due to the anesthesia. Finally, it was highly recommended that I stay with someone following the first 24 hours of surgery.
On the day of my surgery which was set for 7:15 a.m. I took a cab from my residence to the surgery center. Due to the time, I left my overnight bag at home. Upon my arrival at the surgery center, my personal belongings including all my clothes were placed into a large plastic bag and locked away. I didn't know until my follow-up appointment with my doctor, that I had actually left two items of clothing at the surgery center.
The surgery went forward as scheduled and was just under five hours. My sister was called an hour before I was to be released to give my body time to wake up from the general anesthesia.
A nurse gave my sister who in turn gave to me a copy of my after care instructions and follow-up appointment with my doctor.
I was taken in a wheelchair by the nurse to my sister's car.
As we got on the freeway, I told my sister I needed to go home to get my overnight bag and fetch my bird, Lucky, a Sun Conure, who I intended on brining with me. Prior to surgery my sister inquired about Lucky. I informed her that if I was to leave Lucky for more than one day that I should take her with me and she was in the middle of having a clutch of eggs.
My sister said I don't need to bring you to your place, you can borrow a toothbrush from me. I replied, I need more than a toothbrush, I need my overnight bag... and besides, I need to get Lucky. Had my sister agreed to let me get my overnight bag it would have taken no more than 10 minutes. Furthermore, it wasn't out of her way. Besides, she previously told me she had made arrangements to take the day off work.
My sister replied, I knew I never should have helped you. I said, Mickey, I underwent five hours of surgery, please let me go home and get my overnight bag. Her actions spoke louder than her words. I then said, fine, then just bring me home and I will stay there -- I won't stay at your place.
At this point we had gone approximately two freeway exits and was within no more than five minutes from the surgery center (meaning we hadn't gone far). My sister deposited me on the freeway adjacent to the housing projects... and left me there.
For the next 1.5 hours I called Yellow Cab. However, the dispatcher insisted on a physical address. I repeatedly told him, I'm on the freeway. There is no address. If you take 101 and where 101 and 280 split, take 280 and go one exit. The freeway sign above my head reads Alemany Blvd. 1 mile. I can't go far because I just had surgery and I'm on foot.
At one point, I phoned my father. He said I should call my sister for she was still in the area. I replied, Dad, I'm not calling Mickey because she left me here; she can call me.
An hour and a half later, I was finally able to summon a cab. I reached my condo in all of 12 minutes. Upon my arrival home I was in a good deal of pain and exhausted from my ordeal. I took a pain pill and promptly fell asleep. I recall hearing my phone ring but never answered it.
The following morning I checked my messages. There were two messages from my sister. Her first message said, "Unbelievable. You're so mean!". The second message, left a minute later said, "I can't believe you. You call Dad and have me drive ALL the way back -- and now you don't pick up your phone. I never... I mean... never want to hear from you again. You're finished, done".
I listened to her message again not believing what I was hearing. Little did my sister know that my father had told me that she never left the area. Her message clearly implied that she had driven back across the Bay only to return to San Francisco, to find me gone.
I can say with 100% certainty that had it been me who had given someone a ride, that had a disagreement ensued, regardless of whether it was a family member or a friend, if it reached that point where I was so angry that I left the person at the side of the freeway following surgery, I would not have gone far. I would have turned my vehicle around and driven back. Worst case scenario, I would have made sure that the person was physically inside a cab. I couldn't sleep at night knowing I left someone who had just underwent surgery at the side of the freeway.
I have known for a long time that despite everything she has, i.e. money, secure job, long term relationships, that my sister is envious of me. Why I haven't a clue.
Thanks for your time and for listening.
Estelle:)
Mickey has always wanted to be the center of attention whereas I prefer to remain in the background. One example is that she is the most senior member of Toastmasters. Mickey has a pattern of entering into long term relationships and before they are over, she is placing and answering personal ads. On a number of occasions she has gone so far as to invite her date to a family gathering while the ex is present. Despite the relationship being over, I have personally witnessed two ex's devastated by her cruelty.
In February 2008, I was scheduled to have surgery in San Francisco. The surgery was scheduled to last five hours under general anesthesia. At the last minute, the person who was to fetch me was unable to do, so my sister did. Prior to that she offered to let me stay at her house following my surgery and I agreed. Before surgery, I emailed her a copy of the surgical instructions (before and after care) which include medication, bleeding, etc. Also, by law, I was unable to drive following my surgery due to the anesthesia. Finally, it was highly recommended that I stay with someone following the first 24 hours of surgery.
On the day of my surgery which was set for 7:15 a.m. I took a cab from my residence to the surgery center. Due to the time, I left my overnight bag at home. Upon my arrival at the surgery center, my personal belongings including all my clothes were placed into a large plastic bag and locked away. I didn't know until my follow-up appointment with my doctor, that I had actually left two items of clothing at the surgery center.
The surgery went forward as scheduled and was just under five hours. My sister was called an hour before I was to be released to give my body time to wake up from the general anesthesia.
A nurse gave my sister who in turn gave to me a copy of my after care instructions and follow-up appointment with my doctor.
I was taken in a wheelchair by the nurse to my sister's car.
As we got on the freeway, I told my sister I needed to go home to get my overnight bag and fetch my bird, Lucky, a Sun Conure, who I intended on brining with me. Prior to surgery my sister inquired about Lucky. I informed her that if I was to leave Lucky for more than one day that I should take her with me and she was in the middle of having a clutch of eggs.
My sister said I don't need to bring you to your place, you can borrow a toothbrush from me. I replied, I need more than a toothbrush, I need my overnight bag... and besides, I need to get Lucky. Had my sister agreed to let me get my overnight bag it would have taken no more than 10 minutes. Furthermore, it wasn't out of her way. Besides, she previously told me she had made arrangements to take the day off work.
My sister replied, I knew I never should have helped you. I said, Mickey, I underwent five hours of surgery, please let me go home and get my overnight bag. Her actions spoke louder than her words. I then said, fine, then just bring me home and I will stay there -- I won't stay at your place.
At this point we had gone approximately two freeway exits and was within no more than five minutes from the surgery center (meaning we hadn't gone far). My sister deposited me on the freeway adjacent to the housing projects... and left me there.
For the next 1.5 hours I called Yellow Cab. However, the dispatcher insisted on a physical address. I repeatedly told him, I'm on the freeway. There is no address. If you take 101 and where 101 and 280 split, take 280 and go one exit. The freeway sign above my head reads Alemany Blvd. 1 mile. I can't go far because I just had surgery and I'm on foot.
At one point, I phoned my father. He said I should call my sister for she was still in the area. I replied, Dad, I'm not calling Mickey because she left me here; she can call me.
An hour and a half later, I was finally able to summon a cab. I reached my condo in all of 12 minutes. Upon my arrival home I was in a good deal of pain and exhausted from my ordeal. I took a pain pill and promptly fell asleep. I recall hearing my phone ring but never answered it.
The following morning I checked my messages. There were two messages from my sister. Her first message said, "Unbelievable. You're so mean!". The second message, left a minute later said, "I can't believe you. You call Dad and have me drive ALL the way back -- and now you don't pick up your phone. I never... I mean... never want to hear from you again. You're finished, done".
I listened to her message again not believing what I was hearing. Little did my sister know that my father had told me that she never left the area. Her message clearly implied that she had driven back across the Bay only to return to San Francisco, to find me gone.
I can say with 100% certainty that had it been me who had given someone a ride, that had a disagreement ensued, regardless of whether it was a family member or a friend, if it reached that point where I was so angry that I left the person at the side of the freeway following surgery, I would not have gone far. I would have turned my vehicle around and driven back. Worst case scenario, I would have made sure that the person was physically inside a cab. I couldn't sleep at night knowing I left someone who had just underwent surgery at the side of the freeway.
I have known for a long time that despite everything she has, i.e. money, secure job, long term relationships, that my sister is envious of me. Why I haven't a clue.
Thanks for your time and for listening.
Estelle:)