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View Full Version : He's breaking my heart


Kaityx0x
Apr 30, 2008, 02:58 PM
Hii I'm 17 and I've been dating my boyfriend for almost three years. We have been unseperable. We used to fight once in a while but now its like we have one atleased once a day. His parents are getting divorced and its affecting him in ways I could never imagine. One day everything is great and its like nothing could go wrong then all of a sudden he wants to break up or just stops completely talking to me for a week without so much as an explanation. I have a jealousy problem that is worse then anyone's I know if I even think he's staring at a girl I would go nuts and that used to cause our fights but now it's something that I don't even know what starts it. He tells me he wants to stop pretending. He tells me he doesn't care anymore right now were talking on the phone just once a day because I'm trying to give him the SPACE he says he needs. I'm completely in love with him and I don't know what to do but I do know I can't live without him. Please please please give me some options other then the one I've come up with. =[

jrebel7
Apr 30, 2008, 03:34 PM
I am so sorry he is going through so much upheaval in his emotions from his parents divorce. Divorce is difficult anyway you slice it. I am sad that you are being broken hearted by his pulling away. Jealousy is so destructive. He might be reacting to that but I imagine most of this is all he is going through because of the divorce.

You have to realize you can live without him although I know it seems like you can't and that your heart will just burst if he leaves totally. Sometimes, you have to let go and if that person returns, it was meant to be. If not, you must accept that you have to move forward with your life. I know this is not exactly what you wanted to read. It is just life. We love but sometimes we lose those we love through death, separation, anger, hurts, etc. At 17, you feel you have loved as deeply as you can but please know that if he stays, your ability to love may grow but it might not grow for him and if he stays, you may both be totally happy. If he leaves, your world won't end. You will learn to love again but to a deeper level as you open yourself up to love. You may always love him until the day you die even if this ends but you will love the memory of what was when it was good.

If he is saying he is needing space, just back off. He will either miss you terribly and come back and all will be good or he will move on and you will have your answer. You do not want him in your life if he cannot commit to loving you like you deserve to be loved.

I am so sorry you are hurting. What you have shared is not an easy thing to just deal with and move on and I know that. It takes work and it takes a commitment to yourself to back off and see where you and he stand with each other. But you need to know for sure where he is in his feelings for you.

Let him know that you feel bad for him for what he is going through. Tell him what you desire, for your relationship to be what it was but that you will leave him alone until he can work through this if that is what he wants. At that time, I think he will either say, no, he needs you to help him or he will say yes, he needs time. You will know what to do by the answer he gives.

If his parents weren't getting a divorce, I would say just tell him to leave you alone until he knows what he wants but since he is going through a traumatic time, I don't think anyone in good conscience could just walk away but you will be able to read him. Three years with a person gives you a pretty good idea what they mean no matter the words they say.

N0help4u
Apr 30, 2008, 06:05 PM
You say you can not live without him but if you are jealous and keep at him in a mistrusting and insecure you will end up driving him away. He needs support and understanding now.
Jealousy, mistrust and insecurity are all about you/your needs not at all supportive to where he is in his life right now.