I have known my best friend for 2 years. I am 19 and hell be 20 in a couple of weeks. We are super close. Everyone thinks we are in love and openly joke with us about it. His parents think we are going to get married and so do our friends and everyone that knows us and everyone jokes about it including us. He has been there for me through everything. I have been through 3 long term serious relationships all which were about 2 years each. I met my best friend james when I was a junior in high school exactly 2 years ago today actually at prom. We have the same friends and I was with the go I was dating, will, at the time. Me and 2 of my best friends went to prom together and all our dates were good friends. James and I have been best friends ever since that night. Its weird.. he has been there for me for so much crap will put me through. Will and I dated for 5 months and broke up about 2 years ago and ever since we would hook up non stop and hed tell me how much he cared about me and stuff except for the few months I got back together with the boy before him and will would just screw me over and over again and I am vulnerable and get hurt easily because I was so attached to him. James was always there for me and would get so mad at me for not stoping hanging out with will. James was even there for me when I found out will gave me a curable std. the jerk is dating a friend of mine's little sister so we have been completely over for 3 months. I know I loved will and it still hurts so much sometimes because me, james, and all of our friends hang out with will at will's house all the time still, but me and will do not talk or get along really. Anyway, james and I are really close like I said. We have so much fun together and all we do is laugh and pick on each other. He has made fun of every guy I have liked in the past and I told him I hate when he talks to me about girls because it makes me so jealous and he said he got jealous too. I know that that is because he is my best friend and I do NOT want some other girl taking my place. He means too much to me to lose him and I hate seeing him with girls or even hearing about him talk about other girls. Haha. He went to Utah with me over christmas break with my family and they all love him too he's even really close with my sister. He is one of the best things in my life and I love spending time with him. We go to different colleges but both go home a lot and I see him almost every weekend. We spend the night together a lot too and its weird because the first time it happened was in September but if we are drunk, we'll start to hook up. He's kind of a player and is not into the hole relationship thing. He is just always been this free, happy spirit that is so funny to be around. Of course I will always start freaking out and tell him to stop and he always apologizes and makes sure I know that he would never hurt me or use me and that he cares about me and then hell always just kiss my forehead and we will cuddle the rest of the time.. then the next morning it won't be brought up or anything cept for the one time I texted him later on that day and told him it had to stop because I didn't want to lose my best friend and he agreed. Anyway, 3 months later my heart break is slowly fading and I'm starting to have these feelings. I have always known how much I love james so much I have always known that. But whenever I think about us being together specially in sexual ways it makes me want to throw up. So I have always thought it was okay because that meant that he just is my best friend and everyone was wrong about us. But this past weekend he and I were staying with 2 of our best friends who have been together for 4 years so of course we were sleeping in the same bed. We hooked up and I found myself wanting to but then being like no stop because my mind was just like ew what are you doing this is your best friend you can't do this and he stopped of course and apologized and all of that stuff. But for some reason I can't stop thinking about him and I can't stop wanting him laying next to me holding me. IM SO CONFUSED. I Don't KNOW IF I AM FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM LIKE EVERYONE THINKS WE ALREADY ARE AND JUST FINALLY REALIZING IT OR B/C I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE SINCE I WAS 12 YEARS OLD BEEN ALONE... I'm so confused please help!! I love him so so so so so much and I never want to lose him.. I've shut out these feelings before a few times throughout the years and just told myself I just was scared to be alone but I really feell like I may be realizing I want to spend the rest of my life with him which is weird because I am no attracted to him at all and the thought of being with him sexually is disturbing to me and scares me but I want him so bad to be holding me and kissing me and iw anna just hold him and tell him how much I care and make love to him but it grosses me out at the same time and it scares me the thought of losing my best friend.. and it scares the hell out me and I'm so confused please please please someone give me some advice!! Sorry so long..

Spend some time alone, and don't think about possibly ruining a good friendship, just because your close, and he is available, and comfortable to you. Good friends are hard to come by. I think you just need some one to love, and love you back. He ain't it, but there is no one else right now. Be single, and free for a while.

I don't think it would be wise for you to take it to the next step with you best friend, unless your willing to lose him as a best friend. Because if things doesn't work out for you two in a relationship its going to be very hard to being just friends. I think your just lonely now and he's there so your thinking hey why not, but if your friendship is that important I suggest you continue to be bestfriends and nothing more.

I think I'm just going to tell him because I think he feels the same way and we are going to the virgin islands together and staying on my yacht in a few weeks with 2 of our best friends who have been dating for 3-4 years now. I think I should tell him or at least try to not let being with him bugs me when he tries and see where it goes from there. What do you think? I won't ever lose him as a best friend I mean we "talked" and went on a few dates right after we met cause I broke up with will(the that I continued to "be with" for 2 years after) right after prom and that is when james liked me so we went ona couple of dates and that is how we became best friends. I know that hooking up and stuff won't damage our friendship because we do on occasion but I'm afraid if I tell him he won't feel the same way OR that we'll end up together and I'll regret taking it farther. What do you think honestly? Please help me because the more time goes on the more I want him more and more and I am almost sure he feels the same way.. if he does I'm scared he'll be too afraid to act on his feelings

I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE SINCE I WAS 12 YEARS OLD BEEN ALONE...
And you can't stand being alone now.

Well you don't really know what your talking about. I dated the perfect guy from when iw as 12 to when I was 16 and tehn an hole for like 3 months then I was alone for like 6 months till we got back and I dumped him for the second hole and iw as alone the whole time I was with him because only dated for 4 months and we broke up 2 years ago in may so pretty much I've been alone for 2 years so you don't know what your talking about I meant that I haven't had a guy that I could call up and go hang out with in a long time but I do hve that I just go to a school I hate and I do not know anyone here and I'm alone all the time for the past year so everyone just quit answering this question ill handle it myself because I can't explain every detail. Thanks though