OK well let me start by saying that I recently got dumped by my boyfriend of 7 months. We both love each other very very very much... we broke up cz I had done a mistake that wasn't a big deal,but it was the cherry on top of many many many mistakes... hes my first serious relationship and I loved him from the bottom of my heart... he's everything to me and he represents happiness... after we broke up.. I tried to get back with him and promised him that I will change and I really wanted to! But 1 week ago there was this concert for david guetta that I wanted to go to. I know he doesn't like me to go to concerts and stuff like that without him or alone cz there are too many guys alcohool drugs... but stupid me,I went... so he sent me an sms saying that everythng was over cz I shldnt of been there... so at that night I was so sad and I cldnt leave cz my best friends wanted to stay there with her best friends.so one of her friends , a guy, came and started dancing with me to make me feel better , but he started getting closer and closer and I was pushing him but he wldnt understand and I was so weak cz I was so sad so I danced with him but I was holding my tears so I started telling my best friends to get him off me and finally she did so afetr that night I appologised to my ex and started begging for another chance, we were making a progress until one day his friend shows him a video of me dancing with that guy so he got so furious and now he doesn't want to talk to me , he blocked me on msn, removed me from Facebook, doesn't answer my messages or my phonecalss,and he's says that he wldnt be with me even if I was the last girl on earth... and he started going out with a girl, just once, but I know him and she's nt his type he trying to mke me jealous and he did... so help me to get him back!

Ps:he is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stubbornnnnnnnn!

For starters how old are you two? Because by the looks of things you're probably really young..
Secondly you're responsible for your own life.. He isn't your parent so I don't think its in his "boyfriend duties" to allow you to go to a concert or not.. Anyone who would make an issue out of something like this is clearly immature and you should've dumped him before he dumped you.. I'm sure it would be all right for him to go to a concert alone or with his friends.
You come off as pretty young, so my advice to you is to just learn from this relationship and move on.. you'll have a lot more down the road trust me..
This guy apparently loves you so much but he won't even give you the chance to explain yourself?
Going out to a concert isn't a mistake.
Dancing with another guy - could be, I would be angry.. but I wouldn't go as far as dumping my girlfriend.

.. well my ex girlfriend :D

It is my firm belief that whenever you are in a relationship and you find yourself having to beg for forgiveness all of the time, something is wrong and not necessarily with you.
This guy sounds very controlling and prickish. Him dumping you is probably the best thing in the world for you. You may be miserable now, but believe me you will look back on this and be glad.
He is a boy, not your father, he has no right to tell you what you can and cannot do, and this friend of his who taped you dancing and showed it to him is as screwed up and prickish as he is.

How can you get him back, you can't. He's doing NC and that is that. Personally I don't know why you'd want him back, it didn't sound like you two had the best relationship. Forget him and move on to greener pastures, there are other fish in the sea.

Good Luck.

Concentrate on you for a bit and leave him be,

Jesus he shouldn't control you! You go out and find a guy that will let you be! That's real love not give you rules and crap

:) I think you are better off without him my dear

He is a little to controlling for a 7 month relationship, or any other for that matter, and it would have gotten much worse. He did you a great big favor, so enjoy your new found freedom, and forget this jerk. Come on going to a concert with your g/f's, and having fun without him, made him mad. You should think better of yourself.

Well I tried to move on:S but I just cant:S... he used to be great and we did actually have a great relationship but I don't know what changed:S I feel that I need him back so much

He manipulates you and controls you. That is not love and it is not a great relationship. What happen was you have defied him by not "obeying" him. This has made him angry. He knows he is losing his control.
You "feel" you need him back, but you don't. It's time to grow up and leave this guy alone. Love and respect yourself enough not to be mistreated, and what this guy was doing was mistreating you.

I feel that I need him back so much
If you need someone to tell you what to do, and when to do it, then go beg the masters forgiveness.

If you need someone to tell you what to do, and when to do it, then go beg the masters forgiveness.


Exactly. Go to him on your knees and beg him to forgive you. Promise that you will never have an independent thought again, that you will obey him next time and not do anything without his approval. Are you allowed to go to the bathroom without asking? This guy is a control freak and you are begging to be controlled, is that what you want?

You need to love yourself first , then you will get someone who loves you for who you are , not some controlling boy who won't let you be who you are.

dunnowhat, well I tried to move on:S but I just cant:S...
Keep trying, as it takes time, and hard work on your part. Read the stickies in my signature, for some good ideas about how to move on, after your dumped.

he used to be great and we did actually have a great relationship
Of course it was great, when you where obediant to his will.

but I don't know what changed:S
What changed was you ignored his orders and went and had a good time with your friends, instead of him.

I feel that I need him back so much
That's digusting, that you need a control freak that tells you what to do, to be happy. Not only is it disgusting, but a big fat lie. Learn to cope with those feelings and ralise that you love yourself enough to demand dignity and respect, and deserve to be happy. He hasn't shown you any of that. Celebrate your freedom, and you will find the love you deserve, and he ain't it.

Well before I read your new advices I was chatting with him and telling himhow I feel about him... actually I have divorced parents and I live with my dad and older sister... and things aren't going sooo well for me... he used to be the only one that took care off me and made me feel that I exist... so I started chatting with him and telling him I was dying without him and I wld die without him he said well if you live you ruin my life and if you die you also ruin my life... he gets like this when he's so mad.. people are telling methat he's so mad cz he really loves me so he's heartbroken I asked him for a chace he said that I took all my chances... his friends are trying to help me.. but after reading what all of you said I'm thinking of giving the whole movingon thing a try... thanks for all of your advices:) bt just want to add that sometimes I feel so strong and I want to move on other times I feel sooo weak and want him back...

Well when you start feeling you want him back, think abut the controlling jerk he is and then get over that feeling. This guy is bad news. Be glad he is gone.

sometimes I feel so strong and I want to move on other times I feel sooo weak and want him back...
Haha, that is so normal, and happens to us all. Read some of the threads here, and you will see not only do you have normal feelings, at this time, but are not alone by a long shot. Click on the links in my signature, and get some good insights, and suggestions, as to what to do next.

Well You Didn't Answer Me For This... without Him I Feel Invisible In The World... he Only Took Care Of Me... how Can I Continue Living If I Can't Feel Loved?I Shld Also Add That I Had Done So Many Mistakes With Him In The Past.but He Makes A Big Deal Out Of Them.. like If I Was Fed Up With Things At Home And Took It Out On Him He Wld Get Mad And Tell Me That He Doesn't Always Have To Handdle Me

No one can make you visible or invisible to the world. This guy controls you. He brow beats you when you make what he considers mistakes. This is not love, this is manipulation and abuse. I suggest you get some counseling so you can see how he has beaten you down.
This guy is all about control. He would not know love if it bit him in the butt.

Ok... I Will... by The Way... Do U Have Any Children Of Ur Own Homegirl 50?

First you have to love yourself before you can get love from someone else. You don't seem to love yourself very much because you let him treat you like property repeatedly and then go back for more. He shouldn't have to "handle" you, he should listen when you talk and not be mean about it, that's what a relationship is about, a relationship is not what you have.

If you feel invisible without him then you need to deal with other issues before you can have a successful relationship. You cannot expect someone else to make you feel complete, you have to find that within yourself.

Good Luck.

But He Also Has Many Many Gd Things In Him... hes Funny, He Understands Me Very Well... and He Also Have Problems At His House... so I Wanted To Make Up For Him For All His Sadness And Disappointments... he Loves Me A Lot That's Why He Is Soo Controlling... He Wants Me To Do The Right Thing All The Time And He Gets Sooo Mad If I Mess Up... but You Know How It Is Like To Be In love... u Look Away On The Bad Sides Of The Person And Focus On His Gd Sides

Honey, you only look away at the bad when you are young or insecure.

I once dated a guy that was wonderful, he was kind, caring, giving, we had allot in common and we really hit it off. I was 15, he was 18, but it didn't matter to me, because heck, I knew everything when I was 15, or at least I thought I did.

One day we were driving around in his truck, he pulled into an alley, turned to me and said "I've done so much for you, now it's your turn to do something for me, I want to have sex." I said no, he grabbed my head and smashed it into the windshield of his truck, the windshield broke so he punched me because he was angry that he'd have to replace it.

I learned a valuable lesson that day, things aren't always as wonderful in a relationship as you think, looking back, there were signs that I either refused to see or completely overlooked. Don't make the same mistake.

Trust me when I say I know the type of guy you are dating. It starts with a few little acts of control, it ends with you getting beaten or worse. Honey, you don't have to learn this the hard way, take a lesson from what I experienced and kick this guy to the curb.

You deserve better, you may not know it, but we do.

Oh thanks for your advice it really helped me... tomorrow I'm going to talk to him face to face and c where this relation is going but I'm going to evaluate everything tonight to see id this relation is worth saving or nt...

Ok.... I Will....by The Way ..... Do U Have Any Children Of Ur Own Homegirl 50?
Yes I do. I have a 26 year old daughter and over the years have had 5 foreign exchange students

Be careful sweetie. Remember, you don't need him, you only need yourself. When you are ready then someone great will come in to your life. That's what happened to me and we've been together for 18 years, have 2 beautiful kids and a wonderful relationship. Don't settle for so-so, you deserve something GREAT!

Good Luck, let us know what happens.

But He Also Has Many Many Gd Things In Him.....hes Funny, He Understands Me Very Well...and He Also Have Problems At His House......so I Wanted To Make Up For Him For All His Sadness And Disappointments...he Loves Me A Lot Thats Why He Is Soo Controlling....... He Wants Me To Do The Right Thing All The Time And He Gets Sooo Mad If I Mess Up...but You Know How It Is Like To Be Inlove....u Look Away On The Bad Sides Of The Person And Focus On His Gd Sides

Honey, please listen to some of the good advice given here... PLEASE! Take time tonight to REALLY consider it. I sure wish I would have had a place like this to come to when I was your age, and had people give me the advice and support that we are willing to give you.

This boy is controlling, and you don't have enough self confidence, or self love to see it. It may have come from family problems that you've had as you say. He may have also had his family issues, but that is his problem, not yours to solve for him. You have to explore your own problems and insecurity issues. You need to develop your own self worth and the confidence to know that you don't need a boy to make you feel good about yourself.

Please trust me when I say this. He will take your lack of self confidence and use it to his advantage, and sooner than later, you will have a lot less than you started with! You MUST NOT feel guilty, or like you made a mistake because you went to a concert with friends, or had an innocent dance with another boy, or anything that you want to do!

YOU ARE NOT INVISIBLE without HIM! You have a right to your own decisions and your own life, whether he is in it or not. I sure hope your answer is NOT!

I was with a man for many yrs. and then with another one for several more, that took yrs out of my life that I can NEVER get back again. They took my most precious commodoties, by controlling behaviour like you are describing. You might not see it now, but it will smack you right in the face later when it's too late. The men I was with were very kind, charming and loving in the beginning too! But that controlling behaviour turned into abusive behaviour. Men like that do it very slowly. You start letting the small things go unnoticed, and then the bigger things get swept under the rug, and before you know it, you feel helpless to leave him! You can tell yourself over and over that you will never be "that girl", and one day you wake up, and you ARE that girl!

So please, listen to someone who knows, and find yourself someone who will treat you with the mutual respect and trust that you deserve!

Best of luck to you!

But He Also Has Many Many Gd Things In Him.....hes Funny, He Understands Me Very Well...and He Also Have Problems At His House......so I Wanted To Make Up For Him For All His Sadness And Disappointments...he Loves Me A Lot Thats Why He Is Soo Controlling....... He Wants Me To Do The Right Thing All The Time And He Gets Sooo Mad If I Mess Up...but You Know How It Is Like To Be Inlove....u Look Away On The Bad Sides Of The Person And Focus On His Gd Sides

You know you can find guys that are funny, understanding, good looking, treats you like a princess, wishes you wonderful things in life... without the drama, right?

There are guys that will love you and take care of you without acting like your parole officer.

... My advice is to get rid of the guy... but I strongly doubt you'll listen to that... but I do hope you look at yourself and reevaluate your situation. You don't need a guy to make you feel great... you need a guy to notice that you're great.

Vous pouvez explorer l'univers cherche quelqu'un qui mérite plus de votre amour et votre affection que vous vous êtes, et vous ne trouverez pas cette personne n'importe où!

There is nothing you can do to get him back love yourself first, you do not need him.. You only think you do, You can live without him, keep telling yourself that. You are in control not him, To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance" Oscar Wilde. Please give him the space he is asking for, you may ruin any chance of him ever talking to you. Take this time to work on yourself, I know it sounds easy but fasten up your seatbelt and enjoy the ride called life, its full of detours and unknown roads, but as long as you know where you are going, then you will be fine... That path should be ahead..

After reading all of your advices... I told him that I prefer that we just stay friends and stay away of each other's lives... and with time if he misses me he can contact me but it is the best way to move on... so he said : OK I promise you ill stay away from your life and don't worry about me going out with girls.. im just having some fun...

So I decided to do the same... I will put him as far as he can be from my life and start enjoying it.. thx for the advices I really needed to hear from people with experience

Please trust me when I say this. He will take your lack of self confidence and use it to his advantage, and sooner than later, you will have a lot less than you started with! You MUST NOT feel guilty, or like you made a mistake because you went to a concert with friends, or had an innocent dance with another boy, or anything that you want to do!


You are absolutely right.. I have noticed that I have a big lack of confidence and my friends have been having bad influence on me... I was turning into a copy of themm.. thats one of his reasons for braking up with me... and I did in fact stop talking to them although they were the only people next to me when I was going through that drama... so now I want to focus on my friends and have a nice life and most importantly get back my confidence

I wish you the very best young lady. Stay strong.

Thank you a lot for helping me... ur like the mom I never had:$ on internet:P

You're welcome dear one.

It is evident that you are very young. No adult should have to ask for permission to do things, as if you were a child. You should however be accountable for your actions. If you really loved this guy, you would not have danced with another, but respected and protected your relationship. Learn from this and move forward.

It is evident that you are very young. No adult should have to ask for permission to do things, as if you were a child. You should however be accountable for your actions. If you really loved this guy, you would not have danced with another, but respected and protected your relationship. Learn from this and move forward.

May I please just say to you, that she is her own person. Her boyfriend was completely disrespecting her to begin with. If she wants to go out with her friends, she should go out with her friends. If her boyfriend had respect for her, he would trust her, unless there were previous reason for him not to.

From what I read, she "danced" with another boy, and didn't feel comfortable when the boy made advances that she didn't feel comfortable with, and called her friends in for back up.

She doesn't "belong" to her 'boyfriend'! She didn't cross any boundaries as far as "respecting or protecting" their relationship. However, her boyfriend has, by her feeling like she has to ask for "permission" and being made to feel guilty for just going out for an evening. It really didn't sound to me like she was trying to "pick up" this other boy.

Trust and respect is a two way street is what I'm saying. :)

Yeah there are some previous reasons preventing him from trusting me cz I had lied to him many times... but about small issues...

dumped by my boyfriend

we both love each other very very very much....

we broke up cz i had done a mistake that wasnt a big deal

hes my first serious relationship

i loved him from the bottom of my heart.... hes everything to me and he represents happiness....

after we broke up ..i tried to get back with him and promised him that i will change and i really wanted to!!

i know he doesnt like me to go to concerts and stuff like that without him or alone cz there are too many guys alcohool drugs.... but stupid me,

i was soo weak cz i was soo sad

started telling my bff to get him off me and finally she did

i appologised to my ex and started begging for another chance

he got soo furious and now he doesnt want to talk to me , he blocked me on msn, removed me from facebook, doesnt answer my msgs or my phonecalss,and hes says tht he wldnt be with me even if i was the last girl on earth

he trying to mke me jealous and he did...so help me to get him back!!

ps:he is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stubbornnnnnnnn!!

Honey, I picked out some quotes from what you originally wrote. I didn't do it to be judgemental or harsh. You really need to sit down and consider the advice given by everyone that are truly trying to help you. Some of these people aren't just telling you these things because they pulled it out of their A$$,. if you know what I mean ;). We know from experience and are trying to prevent you from being hurt.

He dumped you! You should NEVER beg anyone to take you back! I understand that you said that you lied to him. I don't know what the lie was, or how bad it was, but I get the feeling it wasn't anything life altering.

If you learn how to communicate and how to appologize for lapses in judgement, then someone that actually LOVES YOU, will sit down and listen to what you have to say... at the very least.

Love isn't controlling! Love isn't having to beg someone to be with you! That just ISN'T what love is.

I know you're young and you think right now that you "love love love" him... but "real love" isn't just a "feeling". That 'feeling' is called "infatuation". "Real love", and "real relationships" require a lot of hard work.

Don't sweat the small stuff girl. You will have many other "loves" before you find the real one. Just think about it for awhile. Hold your head up high, and don't let anyone make decisions for you, or make you feel any less than you are. ;)

Starby, I had to spread the rep. Wow, that's all I can say, your answer was great.

It's hard being young, it's hard having all these feelings and all these confusions and not knowing what to do with them. We've all been there, that's why we're giving you the advice we're giving.

Honey trust me, trust Starby, trust all of us older people, life really hasn't changed that much since we were young, we've all been there and we survived, we're just trying to make it easier on you. Learning from your mistakes is a good thing, but not all mistakes have to be made in order to learn. In this case, learn from our experiences and our mistakes, we aren't giving you this advice because we're "adults" but because we've been there and done that and been hurt, you don't need to go there too, learn from our mistakes.

I wish you all the best. Trust us, leave this guy where he is, out of the picture. You will meet someone that is worthy of you, you really will, then you will know, without a doubt, what true love really is. Really, I'm not lying to you my dear, it will happen, just wait and you will see.

yeah there are some previous reasons preventing him from trusting me cz i had lied to him many times...but abt small issues .....
As I said earlier, anytime you're in a relationship and you find yourself apologizing or lying about small things constantly, that is a sure sign there is something wrong in the relationship and it does not necessarily mean it is all you. This guy was manipulating you, making you think you were always doing something you should be apologizing for. Lyig to please him or stay on his good side. How old is he?
I'll bet he was no where near as accommodating to you as he expected you to be to him.

He is 18 years old, but he is so mature and you are right, every time it was my fault, my friend was trying to get us back together so she told him to give me a chance and she asked him: didn't she give you any chance? He said:no I ve done nthn wrong to be given a chance for. And every time he dumped me and I ran after him to get him back . And every time it was my fault even for the smallest mistakes he'd brake up with me

And I loved what starby said but I also had a discussion with another adult , my friend's mom... she told me that its all my fault I shldnt have lied to him ever and I shldnt of danced with that guy, because me and my ex were in a critical status where this thing cldnt be torlorated because at that night he was going to take me back but after that he totally changed his mind

No, you should not lie to him, but if he is on you about everything you do and you are afraid he is going to dump your for breathing when he told you not to, you will lie to keep him. That is my point. That is a disfunctional relationship. There should not be that much stress on your part.
He was not even your boyfriend when you danced with that guy. What were you supposed to do, hide away in hopes that he would take you back? Does he have people following you around to see what you are doing? You need to be glad he is gone. He is controlling. What does he mean "can't be tolerated" He is not your daddy. How old are you?
I still say this is a guy who manipulates you and keeps you second guessing yourself. He wants to control your life completely. If you were my daughter, I'd tell you he is not worth it. Why do you think he kept taking you back? Because you beg, and he gets off on that. If you have to beg some guy to take you back, you don't need him. Don't lower yourself like that.
It is a very big mistake to stay with someone that controlling. People like that will strip you of every ounce of dignity you have.

I know you are right... but when we first started going out he wasn't like that cz I wasn't like that.hes good to me when I'm good to him... after some time with him... some friends of mine started having bad influence on me... and I started chaging in a bad way. So he did the same... he always told me I fell in love with the girl you were before nt this girl..

He liked you because you were accommodating to him, did everything he wanted you to do. Everyone changes, it's a part of growing up.
If he does not like the new you, then leave him alone. Don't try to be something you're not just to please him. He is not going to change his ways to please you.
If you changed in a way he didn't like, he should have just left you alone and not have you groveling and begging him.
I still say he is controlling. He is not good for you.

Oh please, don't let others tell you that what you did was bad. Not bad enough for some duffus to just walk away, because you were out having the fun you should be. Its not like you were grabbing guys and trying to make out with them. He will say anything he can to make you feel guilty, and wrong. That's how he keeps you the way he wants you, how he wants you , and where he wants you. Seems to be working as look at yourself. Your blaming yourself, and have done nothing, and now you'll do anything to get him back?? That's exactly what Homegirl has been telling you, leave this loser and get someone who at least enjoys going out, and treats you right, he ain't it. Stand up for yourself, don't take his crap, and get a real man, who doesn't play mind games to keep a female.

Oh please, don't let others tell you that what you did was bad. Not bad enough for some duffus to just walk away, because you were out having the fun you should be. Its not like you were grabbing guys and trying to make out with them. He will say anything he can to make you feel guilty, and wrong. That's how he keeps you the way he wants you, how he wants you , and where he wants you. Seems to be working as look at yourself. Your blaming yourself, and have done nothing, and now you'll do anything to get him back??? That's exactly what Homegirl has been telling you, leave this loser and get someone who at least enjoys going out, and treats you right, he ain't it. Stand up for yourself, don't take his crap, and get a real man, who doesn't play mind games to keep a female.
My man talaniman just pegged it. He plays mind games with you. Don't play with him any more. Find someone who likes to go out and have fun with you rather than condemning you for having fun.

Sweetie, I realize that it's hard to see someone the way other's see him, love is blind. That's why we are able to see so clearly exactly who and what he is, we aren't in love with him. Everyone that has responded has told you to find someone else, can that many people really be wrong? Love is blind, but it doesn't have to be dumb too, do the smart thing and find someone worthy of your love, this guy isn't it.

And now he wants to start going out with another girl, and she told him that she'll wait for him until he's ready and she nt going out with anyone or anywhere so he won't get mad. And my friend told him that if he goes out with her ill be so devastated he said :its her problem I don't care:s

and now he wants to start goin out with another girl, and she told him taht she'll wait for him untill hes ready and she nt goin out with anyone or anywhere so he wont get mad. and my frnd told him that if he goes out with her ill be soo devastated he said :its her problem i dnt care:s
So why are you wanting this guy? He thinks he has found someone else he can dominate. Let the girl have him.
He is so not worth it. Move on young lady. There are bigger fish in the sea.

I JUST Don't WANT TO MOVE ON:s u just don't know him:S u don't know the good things in him:s he is very sensitive and very caring and loving and he doesn't like to dominate he just wants to take care of me and I did smthn wrong we were going to get back that night and I went out and danced with another guy

Honey, you danced with someone, you didn't have sex with him, you didn't even kiss him, you didn't do anything wrong, but he is making you feel so much guilt over this, that's not right.

If you don't want to move on then there's nothing we can say that will change your mind, but honey, we're not trying to hurt your feelings, we just don't want to see you get hurt any more than you already are. I've been were you are now, and I had to learn the hard way, through experience, you don't have to do that, you have people that are telling you what will happen in the future if you stay with this guy. We aren't just saying this because it sounds good, we're saying this from experience.

Is there a chance that he'll change and that you two will live happily ever after, sure, there's always a chance, but the percentage isn't high. If I told you that you had an 80% chance of getting hit by a car if you cross a certain street, would you cross it? I'm saying that you probably have a 20% chance of this relationship turning out to be okay, actually 20% is being generous, those aren't good odds honey. That's my opinion, based on my past experiences, you can either learn from my mistakes or make mistakes of your own, I just hope you don't have to pay to dearly from those mistakes.

I wish you all the best dear, that's all I can do, the rest is up to you.

Good Luck.

I wrote for all of you here to get advices on how to get him back:s cz I think our relation can be great if we both change... so that's what I wld like to know:s how to get him back after hurting him:s

I JUST DONT WANT TO MOVE ON:s u just dont know him:S u dnt know the gd things in him:s he is very sensitive and very caring and loving and he doesnt like to dominate he just wants to take care of me and i did smthn wrong we were going to get back that night and i went out and danced with another guy
He wants to take care of you? How is he going to do that? He is 18, you two are not married, I assume you live at home, your parents take care of you.
You went out and danced with a guy, you didn't sleep with him. You two were broke up then. What was he doing besides having people spy on you?Were you supposed to just sit at home and cry until he decided if he wanted you back?
When you get tired of feeling guilty and begging and waiting for him to "forgive" you, you will realize how unhealthy this is. Until then there really is nothing I or anyone else can say. You are not ready to stand up and be your own person. You want this guy to "take care of you" even if it means allowing him to put you down.
This guy say's he o longer cares about you or wants you, do not lower yourself by begging someone who does not want you.
How old did you say you are?

I can't tell you how to get someone back who says they don't want you. You can't change a person and they should not try and change you.
My advice is just be yourself, don't grovel and beg, let him see you as a happy independent person. He will either like that and be drawn back to you or he won't.
You need to learn to be happy with yourself and by yourself, then you will be ready for a relationship.

how to get him back after hurting him:s
Beg, plead, and do whatever he says. He will take you back in a minute, don't forget the crying, control freaks love crying.. . tell him how dumb you are, and how stupid it was for you to be shaking your money maker in front of those dude. Remember crying is best done on your knees. That's very important if you really want him to take you back, and don't take no for an answer. Beg harder, plead more, cry more, and don't forget your on your knees. Plan ahead and get a good pair of knee pads because he may have to think about it, so be ready with all the tears you got. Do you do windows? That may help... oh, before I forget the most important trick in the book... call him MASTER... and swear to be his slave. If he is the sweet, sensitive guy you say he is,. he'll take you back.

Tal, had to spread the rep.

Didn't we cover this already? I though we already told her how to get him back, I guess she didn't beg and plead enough, needs a new plan of attack.

If Tals advice doesn't work then swear to him that you will never, and I mean never, disobey him again, you've learned your lesson, you know who's boss, you will not defy him or his rules again. Make sure he knows that you will always be his, that you love him so much that you will do anything he says, no questions asked. Make sure he knows how sorry you are for being a human being, you were wrong and he had every right to be angry, you had an independent thought, that is not allowed, you know that now. Beg and plead, he'll love it, before you know it you'll be under his control again.

Good Luck.

I already did that:s and your saying it to wake me up and let me know that I shldnt be his slave:S:S now I understand:s your making fun of this and I did it:S its humuliating enough:s I understand I don't want to be seen like that:s... I will stop... :S...

Can I have any of your emails?

We're not making fun of it, we're trying to give you a dose of reality, a splash of cold water on your face so that you wake up and smell the coffee. You are better than this, can't you see that? Obviously not, so we are being cruel to be kind, do you understand? We care about you, that's why we are saying what we are saying.

You are humiliated? Maybe that's a good thing, because that's all you'll ever feel with this guy, humiliation, better to learn it now and move on, or accept it and live it for a lifetime.

Did we finally get through, I hope so dear, because I hate to think that you still want this guy after everything he's done to you. Time and self confidence is what you need, it's in you, you just have to find it.

Good Luck.

i already did that:s and ur saying it to wake me up and let me know that i should be his slave:S:S now i understand:s ur makin fun of this and i did it:S its humuliating enough:s i understand i dont wanna be seen like that:s ...i will stop...:S....
If you can see how humiliating it is, don't do it again. That is the only way this jerk will take you back. Do you want to be in a relationship like that?
Any guy who would allow you to humiliate yourself like that is not loving and caring, he does not love you, that is not love, it's disrespect and control. He loves himself and he makes himself happy by making you feel weak.