I am involved with a married man and have been for almost two years. I love him greatly. I totally understand the terrible look this is and I honestly don't desire to have him leave his family in fact I think I make it very easy for him to be involved with me and maintain his home. Unlike what we are used to cheating men doing he does not and has never made empty promises or demands. He is not attached to me for finance neither am I to him. Our relationship began as a friendship and went to a just sexual it is what it is relationship and now this. I don't require a lot he offers his time love and body willingly. We have developed into best friends that share everything. He is with me so much everyday, he knows my kids and family and they love him just like me, it like everyone recognizes us as a couple. My sister says the timing was off for us. He is living a double life he doesn't hide my existence from friends and family they are well aware of me. I recently built a home and had a Xmas party at my new home and they all came. I find it very hard to believe that I allowed myself to become so involved with him considering his status, I am recently divorced (2 1/2 yrs.) and my spouse was not faithful. It hurt so much! I find myself even though I would never want him to leave and never pressure him too, desiring more but I would never verbalize that. I do feel cheated sometimes not often though, just major events like plays , etc. that come to town. I desire more but I'm caught up. I think of myself as a home recker in one aspect but much different in another. Their relationship is lacking and I find myself making sure I give him what he is missing not sexually but mentally and companinship and conversation wise. I make suggestions on ways to improve his home life with no problem but I'm not improving my own home life. What am I teaching my daughter and son. Its not a good look and I realize that. I want to move on and create a life the right way but I guess Im afraid of losing my friend. Im not looking for a pitty party or sympathy just real advice.

Signed a single woman living a not so single life with a not so single man...

I make it very easy for him to be involved with me and maintain his home.
What a doll you are.


We have developed into best friends that share everything. He is with me so much everyday, he knows my kids and family and they love him just like me, it like everyone recognizes us as a couple. My sister says the timing was off for us. He is living a double life he doesnt hide my existance from friends and family they are well aware of me. I recently built a home and had a Xmas party at my new home and they all came. I find it very hard to believe that I allowed myself to become so involved with him considering his status,

It's funny... why isn't he best friends with his WIFE?

Does his WIFE know about you?

Do you two realize the damage this may have on his children?


I am recently divorced (2 1/2 yrs.) and my spouse was not faithful. It hurt so much!

And here you are... doing the same thing, cept you're now on the other side. You think it might hurt his wife?


Their relationship is lacking and I find myself making sure I give him what he is missing not sexually but mentally and companinship and conversation wise.

Again. What a doll you are.


I guess Im afraid of loosing my friend. Im not looking for a pitty party or sympathy just real advice.

Trust me. You won't get pity here. Losing your friend... first of all, you shouldn't be that close to a married man to begin with. Second of all, what do you think is going to happen 2 - 3 years down the road? I mean, ONE of these days, you two will be found out, then what?

First you take a husband, and now you're afraid to let go because you're afraid of losing a friend... I'm sorry but that's just selfish. Really. Since you've been cheated on, let's spin it around and put you on the other side.

What if, the woman that your ex-partner cheated on you with, thought the way you did? What if she said, "I really want to change my life, but I don't want to lose my buddy?"

Think about it.

Very good points! I honestly do think of his kid and mine too! I need to make this change and soon. Your right I am being selfish to her his family and myself. I never looked at it that way.

She doesn't know about me I don't think. Im sure she suspects something at least she should.

This was on Oprah a few weeks ago. There were 5 women who were considered to be the "other woman" and out of the 5 only 1 was still with the guy. That 1 woman was still in denial about the married man's wife and their possible future. The other women finally realized that they were never going to achieve "wife status" with their married men. Like most men, they promised that they would leave their families and everything behind but they never did. Those four women had to eventually move on.

. Its not a good look and I realize that. I want to move on and create a life the right way but I guess Im afraid of loosing my friend. Im not looking for a pitty party or sympathy just real advice......


Then move on, you see what you are saying, I want, I'm afraid, I, I and I. if you want all these things STOP you have taken the first step into admitting this,

STOP not for only YOUR sake but YOUR family sake leave him alone. You can't be friends with him, you already had a relationship with him that is going to ruin everyone lives and when his wife finds out I don't think there will even be a friendship, the kids won't like you, everyone will view you as a home wrecker.

In my opinion, your relationship was based on lies, he is married, living a double life, you are the other women, bringing him around as if he was single, trying to make up for what his wife is not doing.. "so he says" unfortanetly you don't live in his house so you have no idea what's going on with his marriage..

Sorry If I am coming out a little harsh, but the reality is that if you cared about anyone else more than you care for yourself you would STOP. You brought yourself into this situation be strong to get yourself out.

Don't worry about losing him as a friend you did that when you became intimate with him.. The friendship is over... Get someone who is available...

What can I say..


I.. Just.. to many words flooding into my head. Oh yeah here's one

Tramp :)

Enough said

You give some really great reasons, and justifications, for doing the wrong thing. None of them means a darn thing though, and changes nothing. He is a liar and cheater, and you're his willing accomplice. That friends stuff is there because you both have a big hand in doing the wrong thing, so this so called friendship is based in lies, cheating, and making excuses. You went into this willingly, got what you wanted, now its time to get out. I get it, but don't sugar coat bad behavior, and being a bad role model, for a good human being. Apply the same technique you used getting in this situation, to get out. Just do it, and drop the "losing my best friend crap" it's a lie. You are co conspirators in the bedroom, and that's it.