My 13 year old teen will pick a fight with her 8 year old little sister. The little sister gets really mad and starts screaming and then she'll slap, bite, or hit her big sister with the phone or a wooden spoon. I'm starting to believe that the older sister deliberately provokes her little sister into hitting her so that their father will turn red and will yell at the younger one. My 13 year old will stand there gloating with an ice pack on her sore jaw while their Dad yells at the 8 year old. We both work long hours and aren't home very much so I'm starting to believe that these fights are methods in which to gain attention from my husband and I , even if the attention is very negative!! Any suggestions? My husband thinks the solution is to holler and to spank then girls with the "spanking brush" but these girls are getting a little old for that. My 13 year old would rather run out of the house screaming down the street than to allow her father to spank her with the "spanking brush" or a big wooden spoon.

The girls spend their after school time with their paternal grandmother. She yells at them and has a really short fuse, but she's our only reliable sitter. Grandmother has spanked them and is really strict, but the girls won't listen to us unless we're yelling. I think that Grandma has been a good influence on the girls over all, but I wish she didn't have such a temper.

Any suggestions will be much appreciated.

Sort of sounds like normal teen to me and a normal 8 year old reaction.

When I was a teenager I hated my brothers and sisters my brother in particular I used to fight him all the time for no reason just used to do it.
I now have children who fight all the time I agree it is normal I think kids always fight
I think I know now what my parents felt like but they will grow out of it eventually I hope

Maybe you two should seriously sit the two of them down and talk to them in a normal, yet serious tones. Tell them that it is getting absolutely unacceptable for them to keep acting this way... especially the 13 year old. Tell them that there are going to be punishments for behavior such as this. If you are punishing the violence with more violence, it isn't showing them different ways of handling the situation.
Next time they fight, hit, bite, or anything else, put them in separate rooms. Take the TV, phone, game system.. anything they find enjoyable out of the house and tell them they can have them back when they have shown that they know how to act for at least a week.
Just take everything that they enjoy away until they stop acting like that.
This is what my mom did and I could not stand it.. so I straitened up.
Good luck =)

This sounds familiar. My two sisters fought like cats and dogs and my parents tried everything to stop the fighting. Finally my fater gave them both a spanking (ages 14 and 12) and told them that they would br spanked when ever they fought. Fighting stopped almost over night.