I am 24yrs old and have been in a relationship for 4yrs with the same partner. He has tried everything even to proform oral and nothing helps. I feel very hopeless at times and he himself thinks he is not doing is job properly as a man. What is it I am doing wrong please tell me something to do, I would love to know what it feels like to have an orgasm. Sometime when I am having sex my mind is not their, what can I do to relax my mind and just think about sex. I at times try to play with myself and I don't feel anything most of the time am thinking is someone going to come in on me. Please reply

I think its mostly in your mind...

The fact that you cannot get to orgasm yourself, largely because you can't get mentally in the moment, is key. I can do all the "right" things for my partner... and if she cannot let go mentally, it might not ever happen.

Here's a similar thread that just came through here this last week... read it and post comments back here if you have thoughts...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/cant-orgasm-while-having-sex-bf-186346.html

You'll have to stop thinking about it so much.

You're not with a partner that turns you on... perhaps, after four years, you are just like a pair of comfortable old shoes together.

You need an infusion of passion into your life so you get turned on sexually. Same old, same old is a killer of passion. I wonder if a bit of depression is getting you down and effecting your mood?