Hello, I would like to tell you about my problem and ask you for help. My story goes back to the summer of 2001 when I met my ex and only girlfriend. I was 25 years old then. I met her at the restaurant where I used to work in NYC. She is from the Czech Republic. When I saw her the first time I was attracted to her instantly; I asked her out. Eventually we became friends then a couple. I spent the most amazing three month with her till I decided to move to a different state, and so I did leaving her alone for about three month when she joined me leaving NYC. We were so happy together. We lived together for about a year and a half when I was confused about what to do. The reason for my confusion was that in my religion, which is Christianity, we believe that premarital sex which is called fornication is a sin. Religion is a big deal for me, and she did not believe in any, and she was not intending to. I was not sure if she was the person with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. I ended up breaking up with her and asking her to move out to somewhere else. She felt I betrayed her, so she hated me. It did not take us too long to meet again and spend some time together, as both of us were still in love. We spent about six months on undefined terms relationship in which we did everything we used to do before. She brought up the issue of marriage a few of times, but I avoided it as much as I could. I made the mistake of mixing my personal life with my work life, so I made friends of my co-workers including my boss. Some of those co-workers hated the fact that I still did not completely break up with her. She was beautiful and they hungry dogs, so they encouraged her to break up with me. On Christmas 2003 she went to NYC to visit some friends of her mother's. When she came back I noticed there was something wrong, but I thought it was the stress of the trip. Soon enough I found out that she met some guy in NYC and that she did not want tell me so I do not get hurt. I completely broke up with her by January 2004. However, although it has been 2 years now, I still cannot forget her. I still have some feelings for her. I even seek to talk to her sometimes, I did it only once though and it was 10 months later after the break up. I do not want to go back with her, but I cannot stop thinking about her. I still cannot talk to other girls because I think only about her. If I did talk to other girls, I'm not even attracted to them because of the residue of feelings I have for her. Recently I learned that she has a boyfriend who was an acquaintance of one of my co-workers and who also used to be my mechanic. That caused me a deep grief and I felt that I was betrayed by the world. Now I cannot trust anybody, I don't have a passion for anybody; I don't even want to talk to people. I feel I am all lonely. I thought about committing suicide few times, but I never seriously considered it because I know it is not a solution and I will not get defeated easily. I do not know how to end such a dilemma I am living. I am not eve sure that situation will even end some day. Please help me. :confused:

I am glad you did not pick suicide as an option. I once was in love with someone for a very long time. I never thought I would get over them. Now I don't even remember exactly what his face looks like or how to spell his last name. You have to get out and talk to other people or you are shutting yourself off from possibly meeting the woman who will make you forget all about what's her name. I know right now that seems crazy. It did to me once but you will get through it. Just don't kill yourself over some person who betrayed you in the first place. If you do the person God intended for you will be missing out on you. Good luck.

Having had only one girlfriend in your life, you are feeling very lonely and disconnected, and have probably convinced yourself that you are destined to be single in the world.

I would bet the reality is that you're a pretty normal guy, and a decent human being, but someone that perceives women as perfect princesses.

Accept that the relationship with your ex is over. She wasn't the perfect princess (none of them are, and it's an impossible standard for a woman to meet). You are going to have to grow from your experience and understand that while you loved her, you're not going to have a life with her, and if you really do want to share your life with someone, you've got to move on.

That means you must actively start seeking to meet other women - especially one's that share your religious beliefs. Go to social events for singles – Your church or community group probably holds regular events. Build your social and professional network and meet people.

You're 27 or so now? You probably have enough life experience and stories to keep a woman entertained for hours – and in conversation, you'll soon realize that there are other women out there that possess the same wonderful qualities you loved with your ex.

I understand how you must be feeling. I want to let you know that you need to get out of that hole that you have dig for yourself. I know because I am doing through the same thing. You need to go out, meet new people, and talk. I am doing that and its hard; I did not think that it was going to be this hard to have a conversation with someone else. Go out there, try and see the world different.

Hey instead of looking at what you lost. Think about the mistake you could have made. What if you got married had kids then you would be arguing about how to raise them. Find a real christian girl you can encourage each other and love each other. Later ypu will be happy things worked out this way. You won't even rember how it feel's. Take it from someone who knows. Ps it took me along time too. Most people never end up with there first love.