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View Full Version : What do I do with break up?


canefan1012
Feb 25, 2008, 04:40 AM
Hi all, My ex girlfriend and I broke up about three weeks ago and it has been hard. We were with each other for 2 years and the majority of the relationship was long distance. We started dating my senior year of high school and her junior year. It was amazing, a fairy tale-like relationship. We were each other's firsts and that is what made the sex and the relationship really special. I felt this connection that we would always be together and we both felt that way. I went to college and things were tough because she couldn't really handle me being away, but every time I would come back home she would cry and be really happy to see me and have me there with her. Then she went to college and we were happy but things changed. Honest to god I thought she was the one, the girl I could spend the rest of my life with... how wrong was I. Well I haven't spoken to her since we broke up on February 4th and its really affected me. I'll cry at least once a day because I miss her and think about our amazing memories. Tonight she instant messaged me and we talked, I asked about this new guy she was dating and she told me that they met at a party and made out that same night. That hurt like hell but then I asked if she had had sex and sh refused to answer. In my head I knew she had. Later she admitted that she had and that really hurt so much. It is so hard to accecpt that she has had sex with someone else especially the night they met. I cried out of anger and sadness. I don't know how to move from that. After what she I never want to talk to her again. I feel so broken. I feel really alone and I would like to just be able to talk to someone.

talaniman
Feb 25, 2008, 05:58 AM
So sad when young love fails, but you will get over it, with time and a little work. Read the links in my signature, and ask any question you have, Because everyone here has been through the same thing, and we do know how your feeling. You are not alone.

Romefalls19
Feb 25, 2008, 07:29 AM
No one can say how long it will take to move on. It's been 2 months for me, and while things are getting better, there are set backs and I know in my heart I am not ready for a commitment to anyone. So if you're looking for a quick cure, not going to happen. But with time, and No Contact, it will get easier as you go.

talaniman
Feb 25, 2008, 07:32 AM
It does get better with time. Your wounds are so fresh, and intensifying the rejection you feel. That's fairly normal, when we lose someone we care about. Sounds like the first time for you, so coping with those feelings is difficult, but be patient, because as you rebuild your life, and get busy with doing the things you enjoy, you will, understand, and learn from this experience. It sounds simple, but make no mistake, you will have hard times ahead, but browse this forum, and read how others have coped with their loss. Just love yourself, and treat yourself well for now. Did you read the links in my signature?

duck22
Feb 25, 2008, 12:35 PM
Hey cane I just want you to know that you are not alone here. Many of us (including myself) have been or are going through this right now. I thought the same thoughts and felt the same feelings as you do and I can tell you it does get better with time and work.

Its only been a month for me and I have ways to go, but I feel exponentially better then I did before. I started going to a gym several times a week and this helps focus my energy on something productive. Working out has also helped me to start eating and sleeping better (I could barely eat or sleep at first).

Anyway read the sticky's and keep your head up. Things will get better but you need to allow them to. I have been sticking to no contact and it has really helped me out. Do not dwell on the past or what could have been. Focus your energy on yourself and make yourself feel better without her. I hope that this post helps your some.

jolienoire
Feb 25, 2008, 04:59 PM
I just came to the realization that girls are dumb. They are dumb, they are animals, and the frat guys got it right!!!!!!!! There is no reason to dwell about a "woman". Now the current ratio is 7:1 meaning seven girls to one guy. Seven girls per guy that is heaven. I'm sure if you put on some nice on and go to a bar. Flirt around have some random sex and surely you're life will turn around. I just broke up with my girl because of the reason I provided above. Have sex, keep busy, and have some fun

If you need some entertainment in your life go to tucker max website he'll teach you how to treat these hoes!!!!!!

I still believe that love exist just not in college or my immediate years following college years. But eventually I will have someone that I care about.


This is Carlos friend Ian so it's not his fault if you strongly disagree with this because you are too much of a girl to move on and mess around at will. I'm also a bit of a because i just don't care anymore about these stupid whores!!!

I saw Carlos PC on and just couldn't resist to help you lonely guys
Ian


I disagree with you referring women as "hoes" or whores she may have been your first love but she won't be your last romance, We always believe our first love is our last love and our last love is our first, and the more you judge her the less you will love..

Put it this way first love is like a vaccine which saves a person from catching the complaint a second time around,. you know why because you build immunity, when I say immunity you get stronger, you feel invinsible, you can now expose yourself to love...

It will hurt, and each day will get better, but don't loose yourself by punishing others for your past... take it one day at a time, it will get better

rockerchick26
Feb 25, 2008, 05:12 PM
I think anyone who is brave enough to put their heart out there has been where you are right now. It is especially hard with your first love. It takes time to get over... there are no rules on how long it will take, but you will get over it.

I can understand how you would be crushed by her being with another guy so soon. As someone who went through a "wild phase" in college, I can tell you that it doensn't necessarily mean she doesn't miss you or that she never cared. Some people jump into new relationships as a way of getting over the last one.

Take it one day at a time. Focus on your friends and family... Please don't get bitter about women! Don't let this jade you so much that you can't give your heart to someone who deserves it.

canefan1012
Feb 26, 2008, 12:01 AM
Thank you all so much. A side note (my friend Ian was the one who wrote the stuff about girls being whores, not me and I APOLOGIZE.) I have read the sticky threads and they will be able to help. What scares me or puts me at weird is that when I don't hang out with my friends who help me by taking my time away from thinking about her when I am alone I can't help fill myself up with sadness. Everything you guys are saying helps. Thank you. I'm trying hard to be strong for myself and cry when I feel weak and vulnerable.

duck22
Feb 26, 2008, 07:59 AM
I do not talk much about my last relationship with my friends. You can only tell the same "she broke my heart" story so many times before it gets old to them. What helps me a lot is going to the gym to work out. This helps clear my head, forces me to eat better, and makes it easier to go to sleep. Also, when you start seeing progress, yourself confidence will start to boost and it will make it easier for you to meet somebody new. There are also a tonne of other things you could do instead of working out. Remember that you will only begin to feel better if you allow yourself to. Sitting around being upset is not going to help. You need to allow yourself to heal by focusing your energy on something positive or productive.

canefan1012
Feb 26, 2008, 11:23 AM
Thanks duck22 I have and will continue to hit the gym. It just makes me feel better I think that you are on the money with hitting the gym at night so that you can take a shower and go to bed right after.