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ridgelife
Feb 23, 2008, 09:14 AM
I have been divorced for 7 years with two children now 16 and 13. Their father pays support unwillingly, and has little if any contact with them.

I was wondering if I present him with papers to relinquish his parental rights and not have to pay child support any more, would the courts agree with or fight me on this.

I have a domestic violence order against him. So any communication with him is limited and scarey.

N0help4u
Feb 23, 2008, 09:25 AM
Why do you want to discontinue child support?
If he doesn't bother much with the kids anyway why do you feel his rights need to be relinquished?
If he didn't pay child support would you be able to afford them on your own??

Fr_Chuck
Feb 23, 2008, 09:26 AM
I doubt that the courts will allow it, They look at the best interest of the child as for their support, also if you were to ever go onto state welfare the state wants the right to go after the father to be paid back partial.

If you had a new partner that was willing to adopt, then the courts would allow it, if the father agreed.

s_cianci
Feb 23, 2008, 09:27 AM
That really isn't an option, unless someone else (such as a new husband) is waiting to adopt the children.

ridgelife
Feb 23, 2008, 11:09 AM
Daughter had moved in with him briefly. He kicked her out 6 times in 4 months time. He is a daily user of drugs and drags me to court every so often when he decides that he wants to see them and they don't want to see him.

I can support myself and them without him. I basically have for the last two years completely by myself.

The children want to cut all times with him and have told him this. The reason I would give up the child support is because that is the only way that he would possible agree to it.

N0help4u
Feb 23, 2008, 11:32 AM
In my state family court, CPS says that at a certain age the kids have a right to their say about who they want to be with. I think my state the age is 13 or 14.
Talk to family court and ask for a child advocate for each of your kids. Tell them that he wants them at his convenience and it is disruptive because he is not following a structured visitation.
If the kids tell the advocates why they don't like going to dad's they should listen even if they aren't at the age they can choose their statements can make a difference.

ridgelife
Feb 23, 2008, 12:21 PM
We have tried that. The courts still insisted that they go with him. This was about 2 years ago.

We are all three just tired of even trying to work things out with him. And are able and willing to give up what support he does bother to pay to have him out of our lives for good.

N0help4u
Feb 23, 2008, 12:25 PM
Support and rights are two different things.
You need to talk to a caseworker and next time he takes you to court push the issues further.
Now that they are older they may have more say.

ridgelife
Feb 23, 2008, 12:33 PM
I am just looking at getting him out of our lives. If I know we can make it with out the support, that might be the key to getting him to sign off his rights if the courts will allow it.

N0help4u
Feb 23, 2008, 12:39 PM
It may take time and I am thinking of ways you can deal with it until you convince a Judge that seeing him is not in the best interest of the kids. Signing off his rights --he would have to agree to it as well as the Judge and it doesn't sound like he would.

ridgelife
Feb 23, 2008, 12:50 PM
He would if it meant no more money to me from him.

N0help4u
Feb 23, 2008, 12:52 PM
Then you can discuss that with him but still have to prove to the Judge that you can support them. Not sure the Judge would go for it but may be worth a try.

ridgelife
Feb 23, 2008, 12:56 PM
I'm just wandering if me and him both agree, if that would be good enough for the judge.

N0help4u
Feb 23, 2008, 01:05 PM
It would be up to the Judge and convincing him on every angle including your being able to financially support them on your own. First you need to discuss it with the dad but tell him the Judge may not go for it it is JUST an idea.

ridgelife
Feb 23, 2008, 01:20 PM
Thank you for your time and input on this. From me and the children.